Panic

[PolarBear]

We've told you, oh, a hundred times by now, to stop going to those other websites. Can you not see that they never resolve anything, never make things better? They always make you more confused and feel terrible. Going there is a flat out compulsion but given you've gone there countless times and they never work, don't you think maybe it's time to stop going there?

[don't know]

I didn't go on those other websites this time, they just appeared. I didn't go deliberately looking for them. 

Edited July 14, 2019 by don't know

[don't know]

I'm sorry to be posting again. I was having trouble today again and then I got some terrible news. One of my family members died unexpectedly. When I heard I was shocked but I didn't cry. I hadn't been close to them for a very long time but I knew that they had been struggling a lot with life in general which was difficult when everyone else had an opinion on it. Often very negative, which definitely hurt to hear. 

Anyway, my family are obviously devasted. All I kept thinking was how I felt nothing and I couldn't come up with a single memory really. I then worried that I had repressed my entire life and I'm actually psychologically damaged. That's really selfish to think. That then obviously feed into how I really feel about things, are my obsessions true because I can't remember a whole portion of my life etc. Again, I'm sorry to be posting. I'm trying to be their for my family as they were very close and acted like parents towards them for a large portion of their life. Like I'm shocked and feel awful. 

Edited July 14, 2019 by don't know