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Hope it's OK to come on here and vent to people that understand...


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Hi I've not posted for a while (by my standards anyway) and just feeling incredibly down, lonely and anxious to name but a few. I have often thought about posting on here over the past couple of months but have resisted. 

Not wanting anyone to play me a violin but the past few months have been horrible in terms of personal heartache. As you know my partner left me last year. A few months ago I developed what I thought was a promising relationship with someone who seemed so genuine and different, too good to be true really (I'm sure there's a saying about that) and who seemed so keen. We spent hours chatting at night, making plans to meet up and then one day he completely ghosted me! He loved bombed me then ghosted me..unbelievable! Who even does that and why? That consumed me for weeks and weeks. Needless to say my confidence had taken another massive knock. My own intrusive thought has taken a bit of back seat during all this and hasn't bothered me as much. I've had doubts about it all still but somehow the trauma of my breakup and dealing with real life things has lessened the severity of it. However I do feel it creeping back and I've spent most of today with a horrid feeling of dread. I'm not sure if it's a mixture of everything. In all of this and even after all these years I'm not totally convinced my memory is false. As a single parent now I worry even more for my poor kids who are already heartbroken and the 2 older ones only have me as their dad died a few years ago. Just one of those rotten days. X

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Oh bless you saz, thinking of you and sending you :hug:

It's only natural that you are feeling low and that your confidence as been knocked and it's at these times we feel more vulnerable. We all have rotten days and it's absolutely awful but try to remember tomorrow is a new day. You have been stronger over these last few months than you ever imagined possible, take this strength to remain strong and don't let these OCD thoughts  creep in again, stop it in its tracks because no good will come from it :no:

Take care of yourself, thinking of you x

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Hey Saz. I've been through some terrible times, as have many. One thing I learned, that I most definitely did not do before, is take care of myself. I selfishly take me time. I treat myself to small things once in a while. I got back into reading (find a hobby). Surround yourself with positive people. The list goes on.

Take care.

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I'm sorry to hear you've been through such a rough time saz :( life really has thrown a lot of challenges at you. But as lost says you've been massively strong to deal with it and things can only get better from here. Your ocd is bound to want a seat at the table - of course it does - but your job is to not give it one even when you get that gnawing feeling of dread. 

Look after yourself xx 

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Hi Saz, 

A good lady friend of mine, also a single parent, has experienced a similar issue with a new relationship recently, though slightly differently as she discovered he was a cheat. 

She was devasted, and I was able to counsel her - face to face - that there are sadly some men who do such things, and that's just how life is. 

Be strong, and put this down as just him being one of those - we aren't all like that. And there are really nice guys out there. 

Thinking of you and sending my best wishes 

Roy 

 

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You have been through some very tough times Saz, and its perfectly understandable for you to be feeling upset and aggrieved at the situation.

I can't explain why someone would treat another person like that. As Roy says there are decent people out there and hopefully you will find one. 

Life can be very hard at times. I think looking after yourself as much as possible is great advice, you can always turn to these boards for support. 

Take care.

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So sorry I've not replied properly. I hardly ever seem to have a minute! Now I'm loaded with a cold :( 

Just really want to say thanks again for all your replies. One thing I've realised is that I'm not as 'desperate' to rush and reply or be checking every 2 minutes for a reply, so I do see this as a good sign that my grip on this is slightly better than it was in the past. I think I'm not allowing myself to let my mind wander. If I think about this though (if I actually question why I'm not allowing myself to ruminate) this can and does cause bad anxiety and I can quickly spiral. Life has been so busy that I guess I've not had as much time to be constantly thinking about it. 

On 07/07/2019 at 15:46, Avo said:

You have been through some very tough times Saz, and its perfectly understandable for you to be feeling upset and aggrieved at the situation.

I can't explain why someone would treat another person like that. As Roy says there are decent people out there and hopefully you will find one. 

Life can be very hard at times. I think looking after yourself as much as possible is great advice, you can always turn to these boards for support. 

Take care.

 

On 07/07/2019 at 08:53, taurean said:

Hi Saz, 

A good lady friend of mine, also a single parent, has experienced a similar issue with a new relationship recently, though slightly differently as she discovered he was a cheat. 

She was devasted, and I was able to counsel her - face to face - that there are sadly some men who do such things, and that's just how life is. 

Be strong, and put this down as just him being one of those - we aren't all like that. And there are really nice guys out there. 

Thinking of you and sending my best wishes 

Roy 

 

 

On 07/07/2019 at 07:54, gingerbreadgirl said:

I'm sorry to hear you've been through such a rough time saz :( life really has thrown a lot of challenges at you. But as lost says you've been massively strong to deal with it and things can only get better from here. Your ocd is bound to want a seat at the table - of course it does - but your job is to not give it one even when you get that gnawing feeling of dread. 

Look after yourself xx 

 

On 06/07/2019 at 22:48, PolarBear said:

Hey Saz. I've been through some terrible times, as have many. One thing I learned, that I most definitely did not do before, is take care of myself. I selfishly take me time. I treat myself to small things once in a while. I got back into reading (find a hobby). Surround yourself with positive people. The list goes on.

Take care.

 

On 06/07/2019 at 22:29, lostinme said:

Oh bless you saz, thinking of you and sending you :hug:

It's only natural that you are feeling low and that your confidence as been knocked and it's at these times we feel more vulnerable. We all have rotten days and it's absolutely awful but try to remember tomorrow is a new day. You have been stronger over these last few months than you ever imagined possible, take this strength to remain strong and don't let these OCD thoughts  creep in again, stop it in its tracks because no good will come from it :no:

Take care of yourself, thinking of you x

Hope you are all ok. I appreciate all you guys said, apologies for not replying individually, I have read and taken on board all that each of you have said. 

Regarding decent guys out there...they do seem few and far between... Anyway not sure I could be bothered just now anyway, don't seem to have a minute for cuppa never mind a relationship ha! Got to laugh or you'd cry hey! X

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Oh bless you saz, even though it's been a bit of a rough time it sounds like your doing well and keeping a lid on things so that's good news :yes: 

We are always here if you need a helping hand so don't be afraid to ask x

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