gingerbreadgirl Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 (edited) One of my big exposures is watching TV as I find I encounter a huge number of triggers in almost every TV programme. I am careful not to avoid watching TV for that reason, and I try to treat it as exposure. However I find that my anxiety never really goes down no matter how often I do this. if anything it has got worse over time and in many ways has tarnished what used to be one of my favourite pastimes. I think the reason for this is that I am probably still doing some subtle compulsions. But I struggle to identify what they are and to stop them. I find I sort of mentally "brace" against any triggers I anticipate happening, if that makes sense, but not sure how to stop this. Does anyone have any advice or can anybody identify with this? Thanks Gbg x Edited July 13, 2019 by gingerbreadgirl Link to comment
Avo Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 I can identify with the subtle compulsions GBG, keeping a certain theme going. These can often be low level and almost like a habit and in my overall way of thinking, just there in the back ground almost in our subconscious. I was in therapy about 2 years ago and I was massively in distress I felt I could not stop thinking about a certain topic and it was making me ill. My therapist got me to sit down with a piece of paper and actively try to realise the substance of these compulsions and write down what they were and when they happened, is this something you think you could do? in terms of not finding it too distressing? I found it helped me to understand a bit more and realise just how many subtle compulsions I was performing -it was mainly ruminating. - often these were internal things like arguing with myself - going down scenarios in my mind on hypothetical situations. If you can step back its surprising and revealing how many compulsions however small we perform. If you can do this it at least gives you a starting point to recognise what and how often you are doing these compulsions. Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 Thanks avo that's really helpful. I think maybe I'll watch a TV programme and just try and observe what compulsions I'm doing in my head, what I'm thinking when I become anxious, and then writing this down as you suggest. Thanks hope you're OK? X Link to comment
paradoxer Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 Not sure I can offer any advice, but those insidious subtle compulsions are, I'm sure, why though I've had much success with tackling OCD, there's that 30% that remains. Yes, it's an ongoing work. Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 What's so bad about getting triggered? What happens if you get triggered? If you are bracing then this could also maintain your anxiety so you need to work on lessening you fear of triggers by triggering yourself. The other thing is, what are you doing day to day that maintains the subject that triggers you? Avoidance is one of the most common and subtle compulsions so it might involve that. Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 Thanks gemma, some good things to think about Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, paradoxer said: Not sure I can offer any advice, but those insidious subtle compulsions are, I'm sure, why though I've had much success with tackling OCD, there's that 30% that remains. Yes, it's an ongoing work. It is so complicated isn't it Edited July 14, 2019 by gingerbreadgirl Link to comment
Emsie Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 Hi GBG, I agree, it could well be those subtle compulsions. For me, I feel I’m in a better place, but there’s certainly things going on that maintain certain fears for me. I catch myself doing them, but sometimes I carry on as I’m trying to solve something to feel better. I need to crack that lure! To give you an example, it may be thinking something that’s self reassurance ‘it’s ok because he said that’, so recounting things, conversations. Or maybe trying to push thoughts away with an internal dialogue. I like Avo’s suggestion of writing things down to identify any subtle compulsions. I agree with Gemma too, what’s happening day to day to maintain them. The bracing could well be considered a compulsion too. It maybe worth keeping a log over a couple of days to help you uncover what’s going on and then you could highlight what you think are your subtle compulsions. I’m sorry if this comes across as repeating what others have said, but I just wanted you to know that they’re wise words and that I’m in a similar situation of the less obvious compulsions maintaining the situation. Wishing you all the best xxx Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 Thanks emsie that does make total sense. The bracing is definitely a compulsion but honestly don't know how to stop it feels very automatic! I will definitely keep a log, thank you for the suggestion and I hope you're well x Link to comment
Emsie Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 13 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said: Thanks emsie that does make total sense. The bracing is definitely a compulsion but honestly don't know how to stop it feels very automatic! I will definitely keep a log, thank you for the suggestion and I hope you're well x You're so welcome, glad it makes sense. I'm going to have a think today about how you could stop/reduce the mental bracing, when I first read what you wrote something instantly popped in to my head that you could maybe try, but my daughter is desperate for me to take her to the beach so I'll give it some thought first and reply later. I'm not too bad thank you, cracked some themes but some still there. Xxx Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 Thanks emsie, hope you have a wonderful time at the beach xx Link to comment
paradoxer Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 (edited) 6 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said: It is so complicated isn't it 6 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said: It is so complicated isn't it Yep, it's those absurd little mental calculations, that struggle for a 'safe harbor', which of course is no safe harbor at all. Edited July 14, 2019 by paradoxer Link to comment
paradoxer Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 ^ Double quote ... pesky formatting! Link to comment
Emsie Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 4 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said: Thanks emsie, hope you have a wonderful time at the beach xx Hi GBG, we had a lovely time at the beach thank you. So I was thinking about what you said about you mentally bracing yourself and that you don’t know how to stop it as it’s automatic. I’m guessing you mean that you are anticipating something triggering you, so you have your scanner on as Roy would say. I’m guessing that you feel something when you mentally brace yourself and possibly think something. The first thing that came in to my head to try and tackle this was that when you know you’re mentally bracing yourself, to ridicule/belittle the response. Of course I’m not saying ridicule yourself, but the bracing. It’s a bit like when we say to ourselves something like ‘I’m not dealing with that right now’, when we try to delay a compulsion such as ruminating. You could initially possibly say something to yourself that ridicules the response. You wouldn’t be neutralising an obsession, just exposing the compulsion. Out it for what it is, just an OCD behaviour and not give it the time of day. I’m of course not suggesting replacing one compulsion with another. You’d just be making light of it to take the sting out and then give it the apathy it deserves. I’m not sure if this makes sense as I’m finding it hard to put in to words what I mean and of course it’s just an idea and it might not be the best approach. It’s what first came in to my head when you said the bracing is automatic. You could stop it by essentially laughing at it?? If this is complete cobblers then of course feel free to ignore. Em xxx Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 Hi em That does make total sense thank you! I really like the idea of laughing at it because it totally takes the wind out of it if you refuse to take it seriously. I will try that when we watch TV tonight ( killing eve, really good programme ) Thank you and I'm glad you had a good time at the beach! Xx Link to comment
Emsie Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 21 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said: Hi em That does make total sense thank you! I really like the idea of laughing at it because it totally takes the wind out of it if you refuse to take it seriously. I will try that when we watch TV tonight ( killing eve, really good programme ) Thank you and I'm glad you had a good time at the beach! Xx So glad it makes sense! You’re very welcome and I hope it helps watching TV tonight. I’ve been meaning to watch killing eve on catch up, so it’s great to hear it’s good. My pleasure and thank you, it was lovely on the beach. Xxx Link to comment
paradoxer Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 1 hour ago, gingerbreadgirl said: I really like the idea of laughing at it because it totally takes the wind out of it if you refuse to take it seriously. OCD hates nothing more than not being taken seriously. Link to comment
lostinme Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 Sorry to hear your struggling with this gbg, I havnt got anything I can add to the great advice you've already been given only hopefully this will help you Where making a drink and cooking food is concerned I'm pretty much the same as you? I'm mentally preparing myself ready for a trigger and I'm sure I'm scanning and doing mental compulsions too, ive tried everything to no avail. Emsie's idea sounds pretty good so I'm going to give it a try too, let's hope we can conquer this x Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 8 hours ago, paradoxer said: OCD hates nothing more than not being taken seriously. I really don't thibk it is optional even. And why should you take it seriously? OCD thoughts are noneimportant, not little or somewhat important. They are none-important Link to comment
Ashley Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 5 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said: OCD thoughts are noneimportant, not little or somewhat important. They are none-important This is where having an understanding of OCD can be helpful for both therapists and dare I say it, on here. Saying this to someone with OCD is, possibly well-intended, but it's missing the really important point.... to the person with OCD the thoughts 'feel' real. So if something 'feels' real, most people will react to that. So when trying to help someone move on from their OCD we must always remember,. what is none-important to you and me, 'feels' so very real to that person. Link to comment
paradoxer Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 OCDhavenobrain is right, but it must come from an informed position. Again, the tricky paradoxical nature of the disorder. Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 (edited) 7 hours ago, Ashley said: This is where having an understanding of OCD can be helpful for both therapists and dare I say it, on here. Saying this to someone with OCD is, possibly well-intended, but it's missing the really important point.... to the person with OCD the thoughts 'feel' real. So if something 'feels' real, most people will react to that. So when trying to help someone move on from their OCD we must always remember,. what is none-important to you and me, 'feels' so very real to that person. Seriously, where have I even wrote something else. Tragically it is that way that the person who NEED to make the changes the most always feel as it is the WORST thing to do. That is just the reciepce for success when it comes to OCD, nobody would be here if it was otherwise. Edited July 15, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
Guest OCDhavenobrain Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 (edited) 56 minutes ago, paradoxer said: OCDhavenobrain is right, but it must come from an informed position. Again, the tricky paradoxical nature of the disorder. It can quickly become an obsession about overcomming OCD in the best way. Yes! Edited July 15, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 20 hours ago, lostinme said: Sorry to hear your struggling with this gbg, I havnt got anything I can add to the great advice you've already been given only hopefully this will help you Where making a drink and cooking food is concerned I'm pretty much the same as you? I'm mentally preparing myself ready for a trigger and I'm sure I'm scanning and doing mental compulsions too, ive tried everything to no avail. Emsie's idea sounds pretty good so I'm going to give it a try too, let's hope we can conquer this x This does sound totally the same especially the mental scanning thing, my brain is just looking for things to link to my theme and boy does it find them! That sounds a good plan let's both try and conquer this x Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 @Emsie I watched TV last night and tried your suggestion and it worked pretty well I was able to disengage much more quickly than normal. I also kind of shrugged my shoulders in a "meh" kind of way. So thank you x Link to comment
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