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35 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

This does sound totally the same especially the mental scanning thing, my brain is just looking for things to link to my theme and boy does it find them! That sounds a good plan let's both try and conquer this x 

That scanning ... and it will invariably find so-called triggers, is a kind of testing. One of the most ubiquitous and OCD enforcing rituals. 

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44 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

@Emsie I watched TV last night and tried your suggestion and it worked pretty well I was able to disengage much more quickly than normal. I also kind of shrugged my shoulders in a "meh" kind of way. So thank you :) x 

Are you able to expand on what you did last night GBG and how it differed to what you did previously? 

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2 minutes ago, Ashley said:

Are you able to expand on what you did last night GBG and how it differed to what you did previously? 

Hi ashley 

Well what I was doing previously was basically just gritting my teeth and bracing  myself for each trigger that came along. I saw it as exposure as I didn't get up and leave the room but really I was reacting  to the triggers as if they were all very serious which made me more and more anxious. So last night I tried to treat them more lightly as emsie suggested, so instead of bracing myself I took a more apathetic stance and tried to see the triggers as silly more than serious. If that makes sense. I realise that this possibly goes against agreeing with the thoughts and other schools of thought. 

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2 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

@Emsie I watched TV last night and tried your suggestion and it worked pretty well I was able to disengage much more quickly than normal. I also kind of shrugged my shoulders in a "meh" kind of way. So thank you :) x 

Hi GBG, I'm so chuffed, that's brilliant! You're so welcome.  A huge well done. I hope it continues to work and that you then feel at ease watching TV as you did before. Xxx

Edited by Emsie

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I watched TV before bed again last night and it didn't work as well. I think maybe it was slightly compulsive almost like a mantra if that makes sense? I think I need to let it be a sort of casual feeling rather than something I consciously choose every time. If that makes sense. I'm going to stick with it though. 

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13 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

This does sound totally the same especially the mental scanning thing, my brain is just looking for things to link to my theme and boy does it find them! That sounds a good plan let's both try and conquer this x 

Sounds a good plan gbg, I've tried it but it doesn't seem to be working that well yet:( but I will persevere anything is worth a try I've tried so many different ways to no avail. We will have to share our obstacles a long the way and hopefully this will help others too x

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14 minutes ago, lostinme said:

Sounds a good plan gbg, I've tried it but it doesn't seem to be working that well yet:( but I will persevere anything is worth a try I've tried so many different ways to no avail. We will have to share our obstacles a long the way and hopefully this will help others too x

Sorry to hear that lost :( I found it didn't work for me as well the second time I tried it. I got really triggered a couple of times. It was almost like I was trying too hard if that makes sense. I think I will try again but do it more kind of casually if that makes sense x

Edited by gingerbreadgirl

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Yes perfect sense, even though we know we are going to just shrug it off and laugh at it so to speak, it's the lead up before hand that's the issue (expecting it to happen) and I think this is what we need to change.

We are already over anxious before hand before even entering the room and this to me is the main issue? Does that make sense? x

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The problem with the method is it isn't an exposure, it's not you taking control off OCD, it's a passive method. That's why it doesn't work so well.

You need to be proactive when it comes to OCD. If you are scanning the room as a check then you need to go in the room wildly. If you have everything in a certain place then you need to mix everything up, put it all out of place. Remember OCD is saying you're safer with all this control, but what if that's not the case. That's what needs put to the test. 

In your case GBG, i would focus on what subjects on the TV trigger you and focus on what behaviours you do away from the TV that keeps them triggers, i don't think the TV is the problem. 

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27 minutes ago, Gemma7 said:

The problem with the method is it isn't an exposure, it's not you taking control off OCD, it's a passive method. That's why it doesn't work so well.

You need to be proactive when it comes to OCD. If you are scanning the room as a check then you need to go in the room wildly. If you have everything in a certain place then you need to mix everything up, put it all out of place. Remember OCD is saying you're safer with all this control, but what if that's not the case. That's what needs put to the test. 

In your case GBG, i would focus on what subjects on the TV trigger you and focus on what behaviours you do away from the TV that keeps them triggers, i don't think the TV is the problem. 

Hi Gemma, long time no see, hope you are ok :)

I think what you have said here to be correct. However I think my initial problem is the sheer dread and anticipation before entering a room to make a drink to cook etc, possibly the same with gbg re the  TV. It's more the build up to the event that's the bigger issue rather than the event itself, you already expect the worse case scenario before you start so off sets the anxiety and you prep yourself ready. A person without OCD would just enter the room switch on the TV, cook, make a drink etc without thought or hesitation and this is what I feel is our biggest hurdle. It's about changing our thought process before hand maybe? Does that make sense? 

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Hi lost, I'm good thanks, it's good to see you too :)

1 hour ago, lostinme said:

It's more the build up to the event that's the bigger issue rather than the event itself, you already expect the worse case scenario before you start so off sets the anxiety and you prep yourself ready. A person without OCD would just enter the room switch on the TV, cook, make a drink etc without thought or hesitation and this is what I feel is our biggest hurdle. It's about changing our thought process before hand maybe? Does that make sense? 

I completely get what you mean, I experience it too. What you are saying is you worry something will go wrong, that's really why you brace. (Correct me if I'm wrong by the way:)) That's the purpose of exposures to gain experience by varying the situation. If you go in braced, is the result better, worse or the same? If you go in and challenge OCD by triggering yourself, are you more or less likely to feel the need to brace next time. If you trigger yourself and get used to it, will you brace for that trigger in the future?

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Thanks for this gemma. I wouldn't describe the TV watching as passive really. It is one of the biggest exposures I do and I do it repeatedly even though my instinct is to avoid watching TV or at least programmes I anticipate triggering me a lot. So I am deliberately putting myself in situations which trigger my ocd. The bracing is something I want to stop but I'm not really sure how to do that as it feels semi automatic.  

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9 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Thanks for this gemma. I wouldn't describe the TV watching as passive really. It is one of the biggest exposures I do and I do it repeatedly even though my instinct is to avoid watching TV or at least programmes I anticipate triggering me a lot. So I am deliberately putting myself in situations which trigger my ocd. The bracing is something I want to stop but I'm not really sure how to do that as it feels semi automatic.  

I wasn't saying watching the TV was passive, i was saying the method to deal with triggers is a passive one, in case I wasn't clear. What you describe is white knuckle riding. Where you hold on for dear life until it's over. That's what the bracing is. The key is to find out why you're bracing in order to stop, what's going to happen that's so bad? 

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Well generally I'm afraid that something will come up that's connected to any of a range of topics I feel guilty about. And that worries me for a few reasons but the main one I guess is I worry it will prompt my partner to think about or talk about one of these topics and that I'm awful bla bla bla. My partner knows I worry about this and thinks it's crazy (as do I deep down). TV is very unpredictable in this sense. 

I feel very sensitive about this topic so please handle me with kid gloves if that's OK! :) x 

Edited by gingerbreadgirl

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1 minute ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I feel very sensitive about this topic so please handle me with kid gloves if that's OK! :) x 

I will try just let me know if I don't :)

If a subject did come up and it did begin a conversation, why wouldn't the conversation just go well? Does it have to be a negative situation?

Also, it can't just become apparent that your awful, that's not how things work. More like that might be what you'd feel, it wouldn't make it fact.

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I know what you're saying is true, it might not be negative and I have very little reason to believe it would be. I can't really explain why I'm so worried about it tbh. I just know I can't control for what happens on TV and it makes me feel very exposed and vulnerable. 

 

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57 minutes ago, Gemma7 said:

Hi lost, I'm good thanks, it's good to see you too :)

I completely get what you mean, I experience it too. What you are saying is you worry something will go wrong, that's really why you brace. (Correct me if I'm wrong by the way:)) That's the purpose of exposures to gain experience by varying the situation. If you go in braced, is the result better, worse or the same? If you go in and challenge OCD by triggering yourself, are you more or less likely to feel the need to brace next time. If you trigger yourself and get used to it, will you brace for that trigger in the future?

It's good to be back Gemma and nice to see you too:) thank you for your kind response it's much appreciated :yes:

I'm not sure that I worry something will go wrong? It's more the what ifs I think? I know even though I've stopped so many compulsions regarding this issue I still dread having to do it, just incase and I can't wait for it to be over. Hope this makes sense. So it's not the not doing part and avoiding it's more finding the right steps like with other issues that I've managed to overcome. I think I'm like gbg hold brace oneself until it over? Sorry gbg if I've got this wrong? It's very much an automatic response that I'm not sure how to change and that's why I think it's down to my initial thoughts, behaviour before starting that I need to work on changing ? 

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9 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I know what you're saying is true, it might not be negative and I have very little reason to believe it would be.

That's good :) Ok so you're going to have to practise putting faith in that analysis. 

 

10 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I can't really explain why I'm so worried about it tbh.

One word, compulsions. It's always compulsions that have your feelings and your logic at odds with each other.

11 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I just know I can't control for what happens on TV and it makes me feel very exposed and vulnerable. 

This is natural, because you are obviously controlling other things. Instead of wanting to control the TV you need to look at letting go of control elsewhere. 

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3 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

That's exactly how it is with me too lost it's bracing until it's over x 

Hopefully we can work through this together gbg different theme but same outcome and this is where work still lies x

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4 minutes ago, Gemma7 said:

That's good :) Ok so you're going to have to practise putting faith in that analysis. 

 

One word, compulsions. It's always compulsions that have your feelings and your logic at odds with each other.

This is natural, because you are obviously controlling other things. Instead of wanting to control the TV you need to look at letting go of control elsewhere. 

This is exactly it we are still wanting to be in control of the situation so as not to be the bad person we think we might be and that it's all our fault etc, this is the core belief we maybe need to work on too? 

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1 hour ago, lostinme said:

This is exactly it we are still wanting to be in control of the situation so as not to be the bad person we think we might be and that it's all our fault etc, this is the core belief we maybe need to work on too? 

Yes you probably need to explore the benefits of not taking control, what do you get? Is taking control helping or hindering you? Also, if something goes wrong, is it your fault or is it just something that happens sometimes?

Also, when people draw the conclusion that they are a bad person because something happens that they could have controlled, are they treating themselves like they treat other people. If not then looking into developing self-compassion is important :)

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2 hours ago, Gemma7 said:

Yes you probably need to explore the benefits of not taking control, what do you get? Is taking control helping or hindering you? Also, if something goes wrong, is it your fault or is it just something that happens sometimes?

Also, when people draw the conclusion that they are a bad person because something happens that they could have controlled, are they treating themselves like they treat other people. If not then looking into developing self-compassion is important :)

Thank you Gemma, Lots of things to think about here. I know it's either something I'm not doing or something I am doing. I've got over so many other issues that are not an issue any more, so why are these proving to be the hardest ones to do. It's at times like these I wish I had made notes to how I overcame them x

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Trigger yourself. Sit with the anxiety until it dissolves. The tricky thing is we don’t know how long that is going to take based on the trigger strength. Minutes, days, .,,,

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