Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
battlethrough

Feel like I'm going crazy

Recommended Posts

Will i ever move on from the guilt, its the reacuring guilt from sexual fantasies from years ago,nothing works to move on, I'm not googling confessing, yet every day it torments me,just don't know what to do,always feel like I've chelated from drunken mistakes and fantasy,what is the point of living if its just a life guilt

Share this post


Link to post

I'm honestly so tired of it now, I've had therapy, many different meds,I can't just be,I always feel I'm betraying my partner and in the past confessed to nearly breaking point in my relationship.loseing all hope of any sort of life

Share this post


Link to post

Have you looked into any of the specialist OCD services? Maybe it's time you had a really good therapist guide you through these problems. 

Share this post


Link to post

Hi bt

I can identify with much of what you go through. I agonise over ways in which I feel I've let my partner down or been deceitful or whatever.  It's no fun. I agree with gemma that you should look into getting some specialist help - you deserve to get your life back and enjoy it again. X

Share this post


Link to post

I too think that specialist help will be useful. I think that the centre nearest you is Bath.

Share this post


Link to post
5 hours ago, Angst said:

I too think that specialist help will be useful. I think that the centre nearest you is Bath.

Hi angst do you know that for sure ??would be really handy if there was one in bath !! I tried to google it but no joy 

Share this post


Link to post

hi mate - just to let you know we're hear. Sorry you are still struggling.

njb

Share this post


Link to post
16 hours ago, bluegas said:

Hi angst do you know that for sure ??would be really handy if there was one in bath !! I tried to google it but no joy 

Unfortunately the Bath based Centre for Specialist Psychological Treatments of Anxiety and Related Problems closed last year I think....other options/therapists/centres are still out there to help you tho’ battle. Is it something you’d consider or maybe like the charity to help you out with?

Share this post


Link to post
On 15/07/2019 at 00:10, battlethrough said:

Will i ever move on from the guilt, its the reacuring guilt from sexual fantasies from years ago,nothing works to move on, I'm not googling confessing, yet every day it torments me,just don't know what to do,always feel like I've chelated from drunken mistakes and fantasy,what is the point of living if its just a life guilt

I know it's good to vent, but try not to want relief from your pain, and 'recurring guilt too much. OCD thrives on desperation. Aim to accept the thoughts, and not engage with them instead of sprinting for the way out. That exit door will just lead you into the mire.  

Share this post


Link to post
4 hours ago, Hal said:

Unfortunately the Bath based Centre for Specialist Psychological Treatments of Anxiety and Related Problems closed last year I think....other options/therapists/centres are still out there to help you tho’ battle. Is it something you’d consider or maybe like the charity to help you out with?

Cheers for reply

Share this post


Link to post
On 15/07/2019 at 16:10, battlethrough said:

Will i ever move on from the guilt, its the reacuring guilt from sexual fantasies from years ago,nothing works to move on

I agree with the above that it would be best to get some professional help in your recovery, not specifically because your problem is inherently worse than others, but because professional help is, in general, the best option for everyone if possible!

That said, I think it would be helpful for you to start thinking about this as two separate issues.  The guilt you feel, and the recurring thoughts/images etc. about the thing you feel guilty for.  My guess is you are mixing these two things up a bit and separating them will help in your recovery.

My guess (and forgive me if I'm wrong here) is that you are equating being guilt free with being free of the intrusive thoughts.  That no longer thinking about the incident or incidents which you are feeling guilty about is your goal.  Of course its understandable to want that, we all want to be free of the thoughts that cause us anxiety.  But you don't HAVE to be free of the thoughts to be free of the guilt.  In fact, its almost certainly the case that in order to reduce the thoughts that you need to let go of the guilt you feel about them first.  The key to moving on from the guilt is to do just that, to decide to move on.  You need to choose to forgive yourself, choose to let go of the guilt part.  You will still likely have the intrusive thoughts for awhile, and thats ok, not ideal, but ok.  Its great that you are avoiding Googling and avoid confessing, thats important.  But you also need to give yourself permission to not think of yourself as guilty anymore.  Continuing to respond to these thoughts with guilt is, in itself, mostly a compulsion as well.  You need to tell yourself that having these intrusive thoughts is ok, not great, not ideal, but ok.  It doesn't mean you are guilty, it doesn't mean you need to keep feeling guilty for them.  It just means that they are happening, that they have become stuck in your head for a bit, like a song can get stuck in your head.  The more you think about wanting to get rid of the song, the harder it is to forget it.  Same with these thoughts.  When you start letting go, when you start letting yourself be ok with the thoughts happening and recognizing that just because they happen doesn't mean you are guilty, then they can start to fade away, then your brain can stop focusing on them.  The less active attention and energy you spend on trying to react to the thoughts, with guilt or other compulsions, the weaker they will be.  Forgiving yourself comes first, then the images will fade, not the other way around.  So go ahead and forgive yourself.

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...