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Does anyone else struggle with this?


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Hi All,

I'm on week long holiday and really struggling with my OCD, particularly the 'contamination' component. I'm finding that each day poses lots of challenges and I'm pretty much at my limit for coping. As a result of this I'm finding myself getting really irritable and even having outbursts. My behaviour is pretty abnormal for an adult. I was just wondering whether anyone relates? I have ADHD and PMDD, which might be contributory factors here but the OCD is making things 100x worse! 

Can anyone relate?

Edited by BelAnna
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14 minutes ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

Me! I can very much relate. I'm sorry you're finding things so difficult. :hug:

It's a lot to cope with, being in a new place, change of routine. I always find that makes my OCD worse. Is this your first night?

:hug:Aw thank you Lost! It makes a big difference knowing I'm not alone! 

It's our third night and according to my brother I'm ruining the holiday! We've actually had some lovely times bodyboarding and a nice meal out but everything is triggering my OCD and it seems like the fear is leading to anger each time! I realize that it sounds like an excuse but honestly it just sucks! 

Today I've had several panic episodes- one was about my Mum standing on some (possible) vomit and then onto my flipflops; another time I panicked about some bird poo on a pub bench and then again on the garden furniture; on the beach I told my family members to walk a particular route across the sand to avoid someone who looked unwell; I also stopped everyone from cooking with the oven trays because they looked dirty and I panicked about being left in a car park because I once saw someone vomit in a car park! Last night I asked everyone to rush their food at a pub because I overhead a 10/11 year old telling his Mum he felt sick and then walking towards the toilets. 

I feel like this is how my life will always be at the moment. I also don't feel able to stop being a b*! 

How are you?

Edited by BelAnna
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You're definitely not alone. Everything you've described could so easily be me!!

I totally get the anger thing. It really sucks, and feels uncontrollable.

You're actually doing very well to be on the holiday doing things! :cheer:

P.S. I'm OK, but forgot to order my repeat prescription on time, so will run out before I get it. My mum is cross as she's the one who has to live with me!!

Edited by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze
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Yes, it's Fluoxetine. It's only a small dose that I've been on since about age 14. It did calm me down a bit then. I'm not sure how much it does now, but I do seem to be worse if I miss a dose, even though it's supposed to have a long half life.

I meant to say, I think I have PMDD too.

Anyway, these are for you. Don't let anyone make you forget how much you're achieving!!

:cheer: :cheer::cheer:

P.S. Say hello to the sea for me. :)

Edited by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze
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Aw thanks so much Lost.

I hope you can get your prescription sorted soon and that you don't feel too bad without it for a few days. I'm thinking about starting either Fluoxetine or Sertraline this Autumn if I can get a Psychiatrist appointment.  

Hopefully you'll get to see the sea soon too! :yes:

Edited by BelAnna
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1 hour ago, BelAnna said:

:hug:Aw thank you Lost! It makes a big difference knowing I'm not alone! 

It's our third night and according to my brother I'm ruining the holiday! We've actually had some lovely times bodyboarding and a nice meal out but everything is triggering my OCD and it seems like the fear is leading to anger each time! I realize that it sounds like an excuse but honestly it just sucks! 

Today I've had several panic episodes- one was about my Mum standing on some (possible) vomit and then onto my flipflops; another time I panicked about some bird poo on a pub bench and then again on the garden furniture; on the beach I told my family members to walk a particular route across the sand to avoid someone who looked unwell; I also stopped everyone from cooking with the oven trays because they looked dirty and I panicked about being left in a car park because I once saw someone vomit in a car park! Last night I asked everyone to rush their food at a pub because I overhead a 10/11 year old telling his Mum he felt sick and then walking towards the toilets. 

I feel like this is how my life will always be at the moment. I also don't feel able to stop being a b*! 

How are you?

One of the ways you may be making this holiday unpleasant is by making the others do irrational things, like take a certain path and eat their meal quick. They are compulsions and your family definitely should not be doing them.

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21 hours ago, PolarBear said:

One of the ways you may be making this holiday unpleasant is by making the others do irrational things, like take a certain path and eat their meal quick. They are compulsions and your family definitely should not be doing them.

Thanks Polarbear! Today was better- I made a real effort not to let the OCD disrupt things too much!  I will try again tomorrow! 

Thanks so much for the support too Lost; it really helped me today! 

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Thanks Lost and Polarbear :) 

It's been okay thanks Lost!; not brilliant though because I've still had a lot of issues with my contamination OCD and PMDD but there have been some nice moments (e.g. surfing; meals out etc.). I've had quite a few outbursts in response to contamination-related OCD triggers over the last few days but I think it has a lot to do with the PMS/PMDD/ADHD rather than just the OCD itself. 

On the plus side I managed to go back to the restaurant where I had heard a boy say that he felt unwell earlier in the week, despite that being a massive contamination OCD trigger and actually enjoyed the meal! (I would normally avoid a place after a situation like that in case he had puked in the loos and left Norovirus particles in the restaurant). I also managed to pop into a few shops today even though I couldn't pay for things! I would happily stay for another week despite all of the OCD challenges but we leave tomorrow morning! (Cue: freak out as we have to clean and tidy so there are lots of contamination triggers!).

How are you?

Edited by BelAnna
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Well done! :clapping:You have done amazingly well with all the challenges you have faced, and it's great that you would like to stay longer.

You have my sympathy with the PMDD. It's my worst week of the month and I've been a ball of rage at times. Luckily I have my medicine again now though.

I'm sorry you've had such awful weather for your last day.

Good luck tomorrow!

Edited by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze
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On 19/07/2019 at 23:58, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

Well done! :clapping:You have done amazingly well with all the challenges you have faced, and it's great that you would like to stay longer.

You have my sympathy with the PMDD. It's my worst week of the month and I've been a ball of rage at times. Luckily I have my medicine again now though.

I'm sorry you've had such awful weather for your last day.

Good luck tomorrow!

Thank you Lost! There were so many challenges and it did actually help me to make some progress. 

I had a horrible time with the PMDD/OCD when we first got home on Saturday; I think probably this was made worse by being in pain, dehydrated (I cannot drink on long journeys because I can't use toilets along the journey but dehydration causes psychological symptoms) and terrified of catching Norovirus from my family members after they used the toilets at a busy service station. 

Friday was really rainy in Cornwall wasn't it! We still had a nice-ish day- walked into Port Isaac, went to Tintagel Old Post Office and looked in the church; even ate a pasty in the car. I missed surfing though! 

 

 

Edited by BelAnna
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You did brilliantly! :clap:

I'm glad the rain didn't put too much of a dampener on your last day. Would you believe, I've never been to any of those places, and I've lived in Cornwall all my life!

I'm sorry you had a horrible time when you got back. I hope you're feeling better now.

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