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20 hours ago, Black said:

Thanks so much. It’s been very up and down since my appointment, lots of paranoia about what he thinks of me, what he’s written about me in his notes, what he will do with that information etc

Oh don't worry, I checked the notes, he only wrote nice things about you ;-)  Sorry a little paranoia humor there.

It's frustrating when you start making these forward steps because you initially feel great relief, like the battle is over and it will only get easier from here on out.  Then you are hit with your first OCD spike after that initial relief and you start to question whether anything has changed.  We all want to believe that recovery is a straight line forward, but unfortunately its a very loopy line that sometimes goes up and sometimes goes down.  Overall the trend should be positive, but like the stock market there are going to be dips.  It sucks but it'll take some time before you stop having so much trouble with these intrusive thoughts.  One of the most important things in recovery is to accept as much as you can this up and down nature of changing things.  One thing that helped me (and your doctor may have already suggested this or something similar) was to keep a daily log, at least for the beginning.  At the end of each day, set aside a few minutes to write down how the day went, maybe how many significant OCD spikes you have, and your overall anxiety level on a 1-10 relative to you scale.  Some days it may be bad, you had a bunch of spikes and your anxiety level was high, like a 7 or 8.  Maybe the next day you did better, only a couple spikes and your anxiety stayed relatively low, 3-4.  You don't need to spend a lot of time on it, get a little notebook or day planner and jot done a few notes each day, but it will let you look back on bad days to remember the good days and feel better about your progress.

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I’ve actually been doing this on my phone which is why I know I’m having a lot more bad days than I was, hence I’m thinking of stopping the Prozac as my doc has suggested, but she’s not an ocd specialist so I’m not sure that’s the right thing (it’s been 8 weeks). As I said on my new thread scared to stop and change and scared to carry on with them.

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