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OnlyAlex

Struggling today with OCD thoughts

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Hey everyone,

I am struggling at trying to be perfect. I realise there is no such thing but I want to be a good person, I want to be like celebrities and how they portray themselves on YouTube as perfect, (I realise we only see a tiny slice of their life in the videos they upload).

I am struggling with sleeping too much, then I end up cleaning my flat from the day before and then I watch TV and have dinner and that's the day done.

I am mostly struggling with cleanliness. I feel bad when I pick a spot etc. 

I am feeling really down and it's my Birthday tomorrow- I really don't want to be up all night doing my compulsions.

Any advice?

 

Thank you. :) 

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Distraction, distraction, distraction! Start you’re birthday with a nice coffee and breakfast followed by a walk! Get away from flat even if just a couple of hours so you can’t clean. Sit with anxiety that it’s not being done, don’t think about it, focus mind on what you’re doing I.e walking, take each step, look around, savour the taste of your breakfast.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you deserve it to be happy 😃 

 

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9 hours ago, OnlyAlex said:

 I am mostly struggling with cleanliness. I feel bad when I pick a spot etc. 

I am feeling really down and it's my Birthday tomorrow- I really don't want to be up all night doing my compulsions.

Any advice?

Thank you. :) 

Firstly,  Happy Birthday!

If you feel the urge to clean, try not to and sit with the discomfort (that will come when you try and make a change) as much as you can. 

You won't recover overnight and will inevitably give in to perform compulsions at some point. But the more you can  resist doing the compulsion, the weaker they become down the line.

9 hours ago, OnlyAlex said:

I am struggling at trying to be perfect. I realise there is no such thing but I want to be a good person, I want to be like celebrities and how they portray themselves on YouTube as perfect, (I realise we only see a tiny slice of their life in the videos they upload).

 

It's great you want to be a good person.

This is getting off track, but I personally wouldn't be trying to portray celebs.  Don't get me wrong, there are some kind big hearted celebs.  But I personally  would be trying to emulate those members of society who donate their time to helping others. Time is the most precious commodity on the planet.  People who give up theirs  to help others are the people I admire the most. 

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You might find this excerpt from an article of use:

 

"A significant number of my patients enter therapy with the belief that they have the potential to live “the good life.” They take stock of their background and current “assets” – friends, family, finances, connections, etc. – and conclude that if they could rid themselves of their OCD, they would finally be able to enjoy the wonderful life almost within their reach. Unfortunately, the dogged insistence of such patients that life can truly to be that good creates a kind of desperation for recovery which, along with their resentment of the disorder’s presence and challenges only impedes that process. Mind you, I am fully aware of how disruptive to one’s life OCD can be. Being tormented relentlessly about inane, nonsensical topics is terribly painful, unfair, and burdensome. But to idealize life without OCD is to misrepresent the realities of human experience. Indeed, if the OCD were somehow to be magically removed from these patients’ lives, they simply would join the rest of humanity in living flawed lives marked by inconsistency, moments of weakness, and handicaps. In order to challenge these patients’ idealization of life without OCD, I sometimes tell them that as human beings, we are all “stuck in the mud hole.” We are all slogging through the “muck,” we are all equally dirty, and we all “stink,” but we give meaning to our lives by pursuing our goals and overcoming challenges.

 

What does being human really mean? This certainly is one of life’s most important questions, and how we answer it can have a powerful effect upon of our lives. It is my belief that embracing our humanity means accepting our respective craziness and understanding that we all can be inconsistent and weak.  But it also means that we all have the capacity for greatness, and we all can reap the rewards of living purposeful, disciplined lives."  

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16 hours ago, OnlyAlex said:

I want to be like celebrities and how they portray themselves on YouTube as perfect, (I realise we only see a tiny slice of their life in the videos they upload).

I think it's important to remember that last part Alex.  I follow a fitness expert on Instagram who uploads a few minutes of their life each day.  Always smiling, always positive, always somewhere exciting.

But that person I know from things they've said recently are in pain and discomfort and have been for a few weeks.   So sometimes seeing that smiley fun glamourous life that is portrayed on screen is not always as lovely as it seems.... remember that old saying, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.... except it's not.

 

16 hours ago, OnlyAlex said:

I am struggling at trying to be perfect.

Is being perfect particularly important to you Alex?  In everything in life or just certain things?    I must admit I often tried to achieve perfection with some of my work, but these days I have found the happy place of being 95% happy with my work.  But of course, perfection means different things to different people.

Just checking, but you know buddy it's ok not to be perfect.  I was watching Bridget Jones last night and what was it Mark said,  'I love you just the way you are'..... good lesson for us all there! :)

Oh and :happybday:

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Hi Alex :)

Aside from really trying to apply CBT to your OCD problems, try fitting into your day something that gives you pleasure. It might only be ten minutes in the day, but do something fun. Sometimes it can be easy to get bogged down in only negative emotions especially when you haven't had a break all day. Also, notice that negative emotions get driven by our focus, if you spend time comparing or hoping for something else then you become more likely to notice differences, therefore feel worse, continuing the cycle further. 

Break the cycle for yourself, start with ten minutes, then next week maybe 15 minutes, the following maybe 20. You deserve that break, everyone needs it. 

Happy Birthday!!!!! :happybirth:

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On 21/07/2019 at 19:42, Petal said:

Distraction, distraction, distraction! Start you’re birthday with a nice coffee and breakfast followed by a walk! Get away from flat even if just a couple of hours so you can’t clean. Sit with anxiety that it’s not being done, don’t think about it, focus mind on what you’re doing I.e walking, take each step, look around, savour the taste of your breakfast.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you deserve it to be happy 😃 

 

Thank you so much! 

On 22/07/2019 at 02:17, Carooba Manooba said:

Firstly,  Happy Birthday!

If you feel the urge to clean, try not to and sit with the discomfort (that will come when you try and make a change) as much as you can. 

You won't recover overnight and will inevitably give in to perform compulsions at some point. But the more you can  resist doing the compulsion, the weaker they become down the line.

It's great you want to be a good person.

This is getting off track, but I personally wouldn't be trying to portray celebs.  Don't get me wrong, there are some kind big hearted celebs.  But I personally  would be trying to emulate those members of society who donate their time to helping others. Time is the most precious commodity on the planet.  People who give up theirs  to help others are the people I admire the most. 

Thank you. :) 

On 22/07/2019 at 07:20, Carooba Manooba said:

You might find this excerpt from an article of use:

 

"A significant number of my patients enter therapy with the belief that they have the potential to live “the good life.” They take stock of their background and current “assets” – friends, family, finances, connections, etc. – and conclude that if they could rid themselves of their OCD, they would finally be able to enjoy the wonderful life almost within their reach. Unfortunately, the dogged insistence of such patients that life can truly to be that good creates a kind of desperation for recovery which, along with their resentment of the disorder’s presence and challenges only impedes that process. Mind you, I am fully aware of how disruptive to one’s life OCD can be. Being tormented relentlessly about inane, nonsensical topics is terribly painful, unfair, and burdensome. But to idealize life without OCD is to misrepresent the realities of human experience. Indeed, if the OCD were somehow to be magically removed from these patients’ lives, they simply would join the rest of humanity in living flawed lives marked by inconsistency, moments of weakness, and handicaps. In order to challenge these patients’ idealization of life without OCD, I sometimes tell them that as human beings, we are all “stuck in the mud hole.” We are all slogging through the “muck,” we are all equally dirty, and we all “stink,” but we give meaning to our lives by pursuing our goals and overcoming challenges.

 

What does being human really mean? This certainly is one of life’s most important questions, and how we answer it can have a powerful effect upon of our lives. It is my belief that embracing our humanity means accepting our respective craziness and understanding that we all can be inconsistent and weak.  But it also means that we all have the capacity for greatness, and we all can reap the rewards of living purposeful, disciplined lives."  

Thank you for the info, that's really interesting to hear! 

On 22/07/2019 at 10:10, Ashley said:

I think it's important to remember that last part Alex.  I follow a fitness expert on Instagram who uploads a few minutes of their life each day.  Always smiling, always positive, always somewhere exciting.

But that person I know from things they've said recently are in pain and discomfort and have been for a few weeks.   So sometimes seeing that smiley fun glamourous life that is portrayed on screen is not always as lovely as it seems.... remember that old saying, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.... except it's not.

 

Is being perfect particularly important to you Alex?  In everything in life or just certain things?    I must admit I often tried to achieve perfection with some of my work, but these days I have found the happy place of being 95% happy with my work.  But of course, perfection means different things to different people.

Just checking, but you know buddy it's ok not to be perfect.  I was watching Bridget Jones last night and what was it Mark said,  'I love you just the way you are'..... good lesson for us all there! :)

Oh and :happybday:

Thank you Ashley so much! That's so true! Thank you :)

On 22/07/2019 at 12:18, Gemma7 said:

Hi Alex :)

Aside from really trying to apply CBT to your OCD problems, try fitting into your day something that gives you pleasure. It might only be ten minutes in the day, but do something fun. Sometimes it can be easy to get bogged down in only negative emotions especially when you haven't had a break all day. Also, notice that negative emotions get driven by our focus, if you spend time comparing or hoping for something else then you become more likely to notice differences, therefore feel worse, continuing the cycle further. 

Break the cycle for yourself, start with ten minutes, then next week maybe 15 minutes, the following maybe 20. You deserve that break, everyone needs it. 

Happy Birthday!!!!! :happybirth:

 

Thank you so much, Gemma! 

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