I cant cope anymore.

[humbleno1]

Ive really tried lately not to fall into any traps, there just never seems to be an end to this disorder - it seems to have got so intricate and sophisticated now thats it very difficult to really function with it.

My latest spike, is worried of the spreading of a virus, as previously ive had, but the problem now is my memory is so bad I dont know whats real and what isnt, and it actually manages to generate such a feeling that one memory is real, that I find myself having to accept that possibilty, and it even feeling probable I dont know if I can do this - its a complete attack on my character and I think it is worse for me, as I have other conditions like brain fog, problems with memory so I literally feels more possible, maybe even venturing into psychosis/delusions, anyway the point is how does one overcome ocd like this, I just cant seem to do it.

[humbleno1]

My depression due to chronic conditions is just too much right now, its overwhelming I just feel so insignificant and small, and I feel like I cant get better, im tired of this life.

[Andrea]

On 05/08/2019 at 15:03, humbleno1 said:

My depression due to chronic conditions is just too much right now, its overwhelming I just feel so insignificant and small, and I feel like I cant get better, im tired of this life.

Hi humbleno1 ,

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. With OCD we have bad days and good days, but bit by bit things will improve. Hang in there!

I hope you feel better today.

I send you tons of hugs 

[MentalChecker]

Hi Humbleno1, 

Sorry to hear your having a hard time mate.

To put things into perspective for you, I was SERIOUSLY depressed and wanted to end it all at the beginning of this year and I had seriously had enough of life and felt suicidal.  I couldn't see any way out of it. 

If I was to tell you that I'm in a MUCH HAPPIER PLACE now would you think that was possible? And I'm not on and have never taken meds either (not that I'm saying you shouldn't take meds I'm just trying to show that it's not because of meds why I'm feeling better). 

You need to establish what's keeping the anxiety going? Are you doing compulsions and continuously thinking about your worry? You can't out-think or out-logic OCD it's impossible....

Since I've significantly reduced my compulsions and reassurance I've seen a dramatic increase in my mood and worrying a hell of a lot less. 

Always available for a chat mate if you want somebody to speak with

[Handy]

As you say you have other conditions you’ll need a professional to sort it out. 

[dksea]

Hi @humbleno1  -  I am sorry to hear you are in a bad place right now, that sucks and you have every right to feel angry/frustrated/depressed/etc.  While treatment for OCD is fairly straightforward, its often difficult to do (otherwise we'd all be find right?), especially on your own.  The best thing you can do for yourself is to try to obtain some professional help (as others have also suggested).  There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out help for a problem like this, and you have every right to get help.  If you are in the UK definitely reach out to OCD-UK for help if you need it, I know that Ashley and the gang will do everything they can to advocate on your behalf and help you navigate the system.  Outside of the UK, depending on where you are, the resources will vary, but do seek out local charities and local health care resources if at all possible.  Many many places have advocacy groups who work with people in need to get them the care that is necessary.  Unfortunately sometimes you have to be persistent and seek out this help, which can be draining but is also your best chance for recovery.

In the meantime, I definitely recommend having a plan.  Some people can be a little more free-form, take on OCD as it comes and react as needed, but many, if not most, people will get overwhelmed by that approach.  With a structured plan, both how to move forward with recovery and how to respond to OCD incidents, you will be better prepared to handle situations as they occur.  Rather than spending time and energy deciding on what to do next, or how best to respond, you can follow your checklist.  It would also help to set milestone goals, smaller targets to aim for while you work towards the overall goal.  This will help you by allowing you to see the incremental progress you might be making, and not feel so overwhelmed on a bad day that you haven't reached your final goal yet.  If you can say 'well I still have 10 levels to go until I reach the top, but I've already climbed up the first 5!" you'll likely feel much more confident going forward.

And of course, medication is an option for helping manage your situation.  Its not a miracle cure, but it can make recovery a lot smoother and help you to see quicker improvement and the ability to take on recovery tasks more quickly and easily, thus speeding your overall recovery.

Finally, I find that keeping a simple journal is helpful.  At the end of each day you can jot down briefly how the day went, how your overall OCD/anxiety levels were, a few things that didn't go well and a few things that did.  On a rough day being able to look back and be reminded of the good days, or even the bad days that lead to better days can help inspire you to keep moving forward.