Hello Everyone - Suffering Again

[Gerard]

My dear Fellow OCD-Warriors,

Hello to you all again after a long time.

I have been doing my best not to post on this fantastic forum, as I knew it was becoming a compulsion. I don't think I've been on here for over a year.

Using the 4 Steps, I have been doing well and have been just getting on with my daily business whilst letting the OCD horror-radio station blare away in the background, paying it no heed.

It's worked and life has been good.

But I've always known that there would be days when the condition gets the better of me and that rumination would be compulsive and irresistible. I've just had such a day.

It's been horrible. I got stuck in the reeds and no attempt to disregard the radio station has been successful.

My OCD centres, and has always centred, around my wife. If we have a "normal" evening, or things are anything less than "I love you I love you I love you" (a completely unrealistic expectation and, again, a compulsion, I know), I get terrible intrusive thoughts that I'm going to tell her that I don't love her anymore and that we are finished.

I love my wife dearly and that is the reason, I know, why I get these thoughts. OCD will attack our most preciously held values and beliefs.

Bottom line is that we had a "normal" evening last night just watching telly and, for the first time in ages, the OCD-whirlwind swept me off my feet. It felt like there was nothing I could do to stop it.

This is just a blip, I know, but I am reaching out to my OCD angels for wisdom and support. I've been carrying this OCD troll around with me all day, it's been gashing away at my heart and I need help.

Thank you all in advance for reading and I send all of you my hugest love and hugs,

Gx

[gingerbreadgirl]

Hi Gérard

I'm sorry to hear you're suffering again. Ocd is rotten. You know what you need to do though. You need to allow these thoughts to come and go, shrug your shoulders and let them do their thing - they're just thoughts. Thoughts can't do anything. Don't try and figure them out, don't do anything to try and prevent your fears. Think "OK maybe i don't love my wife" and just get on with your day. You can do exposure by making sure you do as many normal this as possible and resist the urge to say "I love you" for now (as I imagine this is a big compulsion for you). 

Good luck, you can do this. 

Gbg x 

[Andrea]

Hi Gerard 

I agree with gingerbreadgirl. They are just thoughts. Don't listen to your OCD. Don't listen to that big fat liar.

 

[Gerard]

Andrea and GingerbreadGirl....you are my angels.

Thank you so much for taking time out to help me and I shall follow your advice to the letter.

I so hope I get the chance to support you as you have supported me.

Sending you peace, love and health,

Gxxxxxxxxxxxx

[gingerbreadgirl]

No problem at all (btw I don't know why my phone decided to put an accent on your name...!  )

I hope you're feeling better very soon.  You can kick OCD in the butt!!

GBG xx

[Andrea]

You are welcome Gerard 

Things can get better, Don't give up!

big HUG 

[angels]

Ignore your intrusive thoughts and try to see it as ocd and not you. This will help create a little ditance between ocd and you try not to enter the debate and refocus until it unsticks a lifts x

Edited August 26, 2019 by angels