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So, my pills are negating most of my anxiety but I have developed into a status quo where my obsessions rarely change but have become the norm, where I dot even talk about OCD. I haven’t had any mental health care since the therapist left, and she made me worse because she was hyperchondriact as well, amongst other things. Today I noticed a white patch well, pinky white in a lump on my gum, the lump has been there for years and is a deformation of the gum, most likely caused by the tooth but I don’t remember the patch of discolouration, not that I have looked or remember looking. I looked up symptoms of the c word on the NHS and have none of them. I know it’s likely just a tooth or discolouration in the mouth and that now I should ignore it but it’s eating at me, what would you do?

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Lots of people on here right the same issue over and over, why am i always the one ignored? I often feel on here like im being punished, maybe it's just my brain but thats how it feels. 

Edited by Phili
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I doubt people are deliberately ignoring you but you've posted nearly 3.000 times. I think you need to have an honest conversation with yourself about why you're not moving forward. I mean that in a respectful way as I know it's hard to get out of the rut you're mostly likely in. 

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I have no mental health support, my last therapist gave me the wrong therapy for someone autistic because she insisted i wasn't, well i am. Also not all my posts are about OCD, why do i bother, everyone cares about as much as my CPN

Edited by Phili
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Because you always have some excuse not to get better then you bring up another theme or another type of illness & we already answered you 1000’s of times. Just take advice you were already given 1000 times. 

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Oh yes, I will go and switch it off shall I. I'm so sorry that my OCD is repetitive and boring, I'm so sorry i can't just get better because 1000 people told me too, I'm so freaking sorry that obviously im a big fat failure because obviously i should be cured by now, maybe i should change the type of OCD i have to make it more entertaining. I guess i, the only one with excuses on here. My OCD must be unique. Leave me alone, Im better off bottling it, shan't bother again 

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Hi Phili, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for the responses you got, I'm not sure why you are being picked on. :hug:I totally get your frustration. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Stay strong, keep fighting the urge to do more compulsions and try to keep your mind occupied with something else.

Now if only I followed my own advice more often... :whistling:

Edited by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze
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My response wasn't meant to be mean or judgmental. I wouldn't you or anyone else to spend 20+ years stuck like I did with (IN MY VIEW) a condition which is a lot less complicated than it is made out to be. I do not pick on people in forums and I am not a troll. There are a lot of things an OCD sufferer can do for themselves without a therapist or waiting to see one. 

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Thank you Lost, it’s OK Phil, (I have been stuck for 31 years sadly, all my life but four years), I didn’t think you were. I’m trying not to look and let the thought exist but not engage with it. I’ve actually forgotten the advice I have been given, I don’t retain information well for some reason and the autism really complicates things. 

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6 hours ago, PhilM said:

My response wasn't meant to be mean or judgmental. I wouldn't you or anyone else to spend 20+ years stuck like I did with (IN MY VIEW) a condition which is a lot less complicated than it is made out to be. I do not pick on people in forums and I am not a troll. There are a lot of things an OCD sufferer can do for themselves without a therapist or waiting to see one. 

Sorry Phil, I wasn't referring to your message, and I didn't think anybody was a troll.

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4 hours ago, Phili said:

Thank you Lost, it’s OK Phil, (I have been stuck for 31 years sadly, all my life but four years), I didn’t think you were. I’m trying not to look and let the thought exist but not engage with it. I’ve actually forgotten the advice I have been given, I don’t retain information well for some reason and the autism really complicates things. 

I am the same with not retaining information well. I'm convinced I'm autistic too.

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Resisting googling again and looking. Honestly, I feel the only thing keeping me together is the pills, I’m on the highest dose of duloxitine and 15g of Quintiapine. Sorry for the spelling, it’s stopped me for, self harming at least

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I looked, now i think a patch  underneath of my tongue looks paler than it should, I know i need to stop looking but it's so hard, i need some encouragement please 

Edited by Phili
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On 23/08/2019 at 14:38, Phili said:

I haven’t had any mental health care since the therapist left

Hi Phili

Nice to see you :) but am sorry it's because you're struggling. :(

You say you're not getting any help with mental health issues.  Just bring us up to speed.

Are you/do you ever see your GP?  If so, is it in person or by phone?  How frequently?

Who diagnosed the autism and is it a firm diagnosis or something they thought "could be" part of the problem.  Did they not make any suggestions?

The therapist you saw, was it the one, original person, the Clinical Psychologist that came for about a year?

 

Sorry for the questions, just trying to build a picture :)

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My GP closed and the new one I’m with is awful, you never get the same doctor and the last one who came out to see me for an eye infection pronounced me cured from the door, then said polycystic ovary syndrome can’t be diagnosed and offered to pump me full of hormones without tests. I don’t trust them.

i saw her a few months ago.

My autism is a form diagnosis and was done my the specialist Welsh autism team and the doctor who came out was a specialist. They didn’t make any suggestions, I also have an attachment disorder and a um, obsessive, avoidance personality with borderline personality disorder traits and a lot of sensory issues. 

Yes it was that psychologist. 

I know my mouth is likely nothing, I looked up the symptoms and don’t have any and I don’t smoke and don’t drink and have no infections which are the three causes. 

I might be seeing a private councillor in October but I don’t know yet

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1 hour ago, Phili said:

My autism is a form diagnosis and was done my the specialist Welsh autism team and the doctor who came out was a specialist. They didn’t make any suggestions, I also have an attachment disorder and a um, obsessive, avoidance personality with borderline personality disorder traits and a lot of sensory issues.

That seems very strange....bizarre even.  How long ago was this?  You do need to follow this up and ask questions.  In the first instance, probably via your GP or if you have contact details through the specialist team.  It may be best to do this by writing to them.  That way you can take time to consider what questions you need to ask, sometimes on the phone we rush through and forget vital bits or simply don't feel strong enough to push hard enough.

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We don’t have any contact details. We received a letter from the local autism team, I seem to be on the waiting list for some kind of appointment. All I have is a CPN, she was supposed to go through this OCD book with me that the psychiatrist suggested but she decided to do this emotional control manual instead, it was supposed to take three months but it’s been like nine. She comes down once every 3 weeks, drinks coffee, watches the tv and chats a bit, then leaves. 

I was diagnosed in September, there was a follow up appointment and I was supposed to be sent a card and some bits but it never arrived. The GP forgets to even order my meds at the pharmacy. I think you could phone them up and suggest taking dog poo for headaches and they would say it was a good idea. 

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I understand how frustrating it is and how difficult it can be to be assertive but you somehow have to bite the bullet & do it.

I confess the role of the CPN baffles me, particularly as they are not (to the best of my knowledge) trained to treat OCD.  So the first job, next time she comes, is to raise with her what the Psychiatrist recommended.  Simply say "When I saw the Psychiatrist he recommended we did some work on this OCD book, I'd like to try that if you don't mind"  And turn the telly off when she visits :lol:

Do you still have the letter from the Autism team? (Maybe keep a file for these things)  If you have, give them a ring and explain that you're chasing up to find out when you'll get an appointment.  If you haven't, either ring or write to your doctors and explain that you've not had any follow up from the autism team and ask how you can follow this up or find who you need to contact.  I know it's a bummer but you have to be pro-active & take these steps.  Use your frustration to get some action.  Will you do that?  

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I turned the TV off.  I mentioned that what we were currently doing was supposed to take three months and has taken nearly a year and that we were supposed to be moving into the PCD book. Turns out she had forgotten about the OCD book and had leant the book to someone else but it was in her car. She gave it to me to read but it looks to be a lot of what I already know and what I already tried and failed at. Also, there is no support for it, then we started what we started three months ago from the beginning again. The CPN will be back again on September 20th

Im no good at phoning and you never get a reply to a letter. We can’t find the autism letter at the mo but we are looking for it, my brother put it somewhere. We have a lady who helps with phone calls and such because I get confused and my brother does too, but she hasn’t contacted us for about a month now.

I managed to go one whole day with looking in my mouth. 

One good thing, I only weight 25 stone, not the 30 everyone thought and things with the physio are going well. I’m doing daily exercises and she has a new walking stick for me and pedals to do exercise. My spending is a lot better too. 

Anne has daily packets of chicken now, she doesn’t seem as itchy as before and we have been sharing cucumber treats. My diet has improved a lot, even though I haven’t seen the dietician for about 4 months and the last time I saw the dietary psychologist, she told me I was the way I am because I choose to be. I only ever have cream cakes when m brother goes into town, which is once in a blue moon, don’t have fizzy drinks anymore and I have a portions plate and havenslimming world chips.

Edited by Phili
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