Leaving the house after 7 years

[Gemma7]

The reality is nearly always easier to cope with Lost. You'll be ok, we are right behind you x

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

Thank you, Gemma. x

[PhilM]

Good luck! Take it easy - no need to rush or overwhelm yourself. We're all behind you!

[gingerbreadgirl]

Drop in for support any time you need it lost. I'll be thinking of you xxx 

[Emsie]

14 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

Thanks Emsie 

You’re so welcome. We are all right behind you. You’ll be ok. Thinking of you and you can do this! Xxx

Edited August 26, 2019 by Emsie

[malina]

6 hours ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

Thank you everyone, I will write more later. I woke early with my courage waning, then dozed again and had nightmares where today went terribly, so not the best start, but your support is helping.

A few weeks ago I had to face up to a big fear of mine and I sort of made an effort not to tell myself that it would all be okay but to accept that it was going to be hard and scary..and that I would do my best. It’s okay if it doesn’t have a great start, it’s even okay if you’re really scared all day long. These things will happen, you just have to keep going and get through it, it’ll get less and less scary. Hang in there xx

[PhilM]

How did it go today?

[Caramoole]

This is fabulous news Lost and very courageous of you   I've been away for a few weeks and come back and see this, I'm so pleased.  Let us know how you've got on and stay strong.

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

Thank you everyone. I am here in the guest house! I got thoroughly contaminated in the taxi here, and going shopping in Sainsbury's for supplies. I am exhausted, but OK. No major panic attacks! It all feels a bit surreal. I have made a complete idiot of myself wherever I've been, mostly because I can't see where I'm going and I didn't check the shoes I bought fitted, so I've been struggling to walk. I had to go along all the supermarket aisles peering at everything trying to see what it was. I had to ask for help finding the trolleys! I waited 20 minutes for a taxi that was parked waiting for me a few feet away. Then I had to ask for help getting the guest house door open! That is just a small sample. I felt like a walking disaster area! 

[kaheath80]

I think it’s amazing all the things you’ve done today considering you haven’t left the house for so long! I’m in awe of you.

[Gemma7]

What a day you've had! You've done brilliant Lost, it must have been strange being out. I hope you're managing with your OCD ok. Remember don't listen to the nonsense it's saying. Well done and good luck for tomorrow too x

[gingerbreadgirl]

You should be hugely proud of yourself lost. What a day you've had. Onwards and upwards from here xx 

[Hal]

44 minutes ago, kaheath80 said:

I think it’s amazing all the things you’ve done today considering you haven’t left the house for so long! I’m in awe of you.

Couldn’t agree more.

What you’ve done today took real guts and strength. No wonder you’re shattered, but I bet it also feels so good knowing you did it!

Absolutely, blimmin’ brilliant Lost

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

Thank you everyone.  It does feel good. Although I can't help worrying I must be a fraud as I managed it and am coping much better than I thought I would!

[Caramoole]

1 hour ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

I had to go along all the supermarket aisles peering at everything trying to see what it was. I had to ask for help finding the trolleys! I waited 20 minutes for a taxi that was parked waiting for me a few feet away.

It's only a few weeks since I challenged you to stand outside your house for one minute.....now look at you

43 minutes ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

 am coping much better than I thought I would!

It can often be the case, the thought being worse than the deed.  Try and remember that

1 hour ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

I got thoroughly contaminated in the taxi here, and going shopping in Sainsbury's for supplies..

Nope   Try and re-phrase those sorts of thoughts from today (new broom etc)  You "feel" as if you're contaminated.  OCD makes you "feel" this way but just like all the other fears, they are the false thoughts caused by this disorder.

Sleep well....you deserve it.

[Sophhh]

This may be a bit late but well done and best of luck. it takes a lot of courage and this has inspired me to think about taking some brave steps in my own life. 

x

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

16 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

It's only a few weeks since I challenged you to stand outside your house for one minute.....now look at you

It can often be the case, the thought being worse than the deed.  Try and remember that

Nope   Try and re-phrase those sorts of thoughts from today (new broom etc)  You "feel" as if you're contaminated.  OCD makes you "feel" this way but just like all the other fears, they are the false thoughts caused by this disorder.

Sleep well....you deserve it.

Thanks Caramoole. I know, I can hardly believe it myself! I'm not even crying that I want to go home yet. 

I think the hardest part so far is using the guest house toilet. I am going to try showering tomorrow morning, then I have my eye test to go to in the afternoon.

I have done quite a lot of compulsions since arriving at the guest house, but fewer than usual.

I will be getting ready for bed now.

Edited August 26, 2019 by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

14 minutes ago, Sophhh said:

This may be a bit late but well done and best of luck. it takes a lot of courage and this has inspired me to think about taking some brave steps in my own life. 

x

Thank you, Sophhh. Not too late at all. Good luck, you can do it too! x

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

Very good, very good!

Edited August 27, 2019 by OCDhavenobrain

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

55 minutes ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

Very good, very good!

Thank you.

I'm struggling now. I can't sleep, I feel like I'm suffocating. Whenever I start to drift off I wake up again. My eyes and throat are itchy too. I think I'm maybe having an allergic reaction. This guest house allows pets, so there may have been a dog in here recently. I seem to have swapped one allergen (dust and mould) for another! I need a drink, but if I get up for one and open the fridge door it will make it start making a racket again and it has gone quiet now. If I open a window it will make a noise and also I can't see how to do it. I ache all over.

Edited August 27, 2019 by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

[leif]

Hi Lost,

Just reading through this thread now. You are an inspiration. Sorry you are having a rough night though   I find first nights anywhere new hard and i can imagine it would be harder with all the extra challenges you're taking on. I hope you are able to get back to sleep ok. Is a guest house a shared house situation? Does it have supports as well for you?

[Andrea]

Hi Lost ,

I am sorry you can't sleep Lost. Take deep breaths to try to relax now that you have problems to sleep. Your breath is a powerful tool to ease stress. 

Remember that you are doing a great job, feel very proud of yourself. You deserve to sleep well after all the hard work.

Stay strong! You can do it! you can relax and have a good sleep.

big HUG 

 

Edited August 27, 2019 by Andrea

[PhilM]

I read you were struggling to sleep but even so your other posts have given me a huge smile to start the day with! I'm so pleased for you! This is a massive achievement and I'm proud of you!

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

Thank you, Phil.  I haven't had much sleep, but hopefully I'll have a better night tonight now the first night is out of the way.

I keep worrying that the owners of the guest house are going to walk in on me! Do they do that, does anyone know? If I shower should I hang the 'please do not disturb notice on the door?

[Gemma7]

If you feel unsure Lost then just ask Just explain that this is new to you and are just wondering, i wouldn't have a clue either x