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I'm new and it's scaring me that I don't have OCD


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Hi all, I hope you're all having a really great day and are all ready for the weekend?

So, I keep hitting a stump. I keep going round in circles from believing I have OCD and not believing I have OCD. 

I don't know if I'm making the intrusive thoughts up in my head. I don't know if I'm making them there. Before I knew I had OCD, about a month ago. I accepted that the thoughts were a part of me and that I had a split personality waiting to burst out of me. I would argue with myself in my head about the thoughts id have about other people. I would even argue about it aloud when home alone. Pacing round the house arguing with myself. Whether that be about an argument I should of had with someone or something I should of said during conversation throughout the day. Idk if my way of coping with OCD was by personifying them thoughts and giving it a personality. Would that be enough to start a personality disorder? Did or does anyone go through this? 

Ugh. This is so constant. Looking back, I'm unsure whether I was even having intrusive thoughts before I found out. Like I know I definitely have been for years but for some reason I just don't believe myself. I don't trust any thought that pops into my head at the minute and I don't know what's going on. Idk if I'm doing it for attention or what. I'm currently waiting to be seen by a psychiatrist and I'll be going on medication soon. I was wondering if anyone could shed any light if they can? 

This is probably reassurance. I know this. I'm sorry. This is all just very new to me and idk. I guess I'm just freaking out haha. 

I know I'm new and posting so much on these forums like who's this guy haha. But I just see all the support you guys give and i want to be able to give back as well to this lovely community. 

Thankyou so much for reading, have a great day!?

 

SStudderz 

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Hi Studderz :)

OCD was once called the doubting disease. So it can really tie sufferers up in knots with doubt, to the point where they are lost and they don't know what they think of anything anymore. You sound like you have OCD to me, but it's ok that you're struggling with that. When I was young I used to think I wanted attention, at the time I was keeping my OCD a secret, so how I thought that is beyond me! 

It'll take time to grasp what tricks your OCD plays, but you'll get on top of them :) Have you looked into Break free from OCD yet, it could be a good place to get you grasping how difficult and confusing OCD can be :)

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37 minutes ago, Gemma7 said:

Hi Studderz :)

OCD was once called the doubting disease. So it can really tie sufferers up in knots with doubt, to the point where they are lost and they don't know what they think of anything anymore. You sound like you have OCD to me, but it's ok that you're struggling with that. When I was young I used to think I wanted attention, at the time I was keeping my OCD a secret, so how I thought that is beyond me! 

It'll take time to grasp what tricks your OCD plays, but you'll get on top of them :) Have you looked into Break free from OCD yet, it could be a good place to get you grasping how difficult and confusing OCD can be :)

Thankyou so much Gemma for your speedily reply. 

That I didnt know but it doesn't surprise me. I do doubt almost everything haha. That is actually true. I have been dealing with this for as long as I can remember in hindsight, and not once did I tell anyone until about 3 weeks ago when I found out. That was when I knew I could tell someone and I finally told my mum. Logically that wouldn't make me an attention seeker. 

OCD 1-0 ME hahah. 

I will beat this. It's just so new to me. Thankyou so much. 

I've been ever so busy recently so not had chance to look at it but I'm going to look at it now, I've just cleared up the rest of my day to try and get some house work done and then I'll sit down and I'll look into 'Break free from OCD'. I'll let you know what I think on this thread once I've had a look. Thanks again, have a good day?

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15 minutes ago, Handy said:

Everyone gets those intrusive thoughts, everyone. Get a diagnosis first to see what it is. We can’t diagnose you or give reassurance but can wish you luck!

Thankyou Handy for your reply?

Edited by SStudderz
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27 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

I spent 10 years going back and forth, trying to figure out if I had OCD. It was a complete waste of time. Of couse, doubting so much and ruminating like I did was, in fact, clear evidence of OCD.

Thankyou for your reply Polar Bear. Hope you're having a good day. 

I do keep going round in circles, I'm realising what damage this can do and I'm working on trying to get around it. Therapy and medication will help me, it'll take at least two months to be seen by someone. Although frustrating, I can wait, plenty of other people like me clearly. This is just leading to a lot of time ruminating so finding it difficult but I'll get there. 

SStudderz 

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