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banthethoughts

is therapy a trigger?

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To me it is, when my OCD isn't as distressing (for me that mostly involved weight/food/control) I am happier going along with it, however lately I have been struggling with what I view as worse thoughts. I have 2 lots of therapy today and it almost triggers me as it brings everything to the forefront of my mind. I was hugely triggered over the weekend aswell from a TV show. It just seems like a never ending battle sometimes. This makes me very very sad :( 

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Hey banthethoughts,

I am feeling a similar way about therapy and, in particular ERP. It's tough because therapy does force you to think and talk about your fears, which ultimately makes you more anxious. I think that you have to be prepared for this because you can't overcome your anxiety without facing it. What you're feeling is natural but it will fade and ultimately you will have to deal with a bit more anxiety for a while, but it'll go down and you will get better than you are now.  

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If therapy didn't produce triggers, it wouldn't be worth doing. Banthethoughts, try to shift your mindset, the triggers are never the problem (though OCD will do its damnedest to convince you otherwise, OCD is the problem. 

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2 hours ago, banthethoughts said:

when my OCD isn't as distressing  I am happier going along with it, however lately I have been struggling with what I view as worse thoughts.

I think that's right banthethoughts, and how OCD will generally push us further and deeper into a corner if we allow it by going along with it, sooner or later, it will start to throw more and more triggers our way.

 

2 hours ago, banthethoughts said:

I have 2 lots of therapy today and it almost triggers me as it brings everything to the forefront of my mind.

When you say you had two lots of therapy, what do you mean?  Two lots of OCD therapy, with the same person? 

 

1 hour ago, malina said:

I am feeling a similar way about therapy and, in particular ERP. It's tough because therapy does force you to think and talk about your fears, which ultimately makes you more anxious. I think that you have to be prepared for this because you can't overcome your anxiety without facing it.

 

42 minutes ago, paradoxer said:

If therapy didn't produce triggers, it wouldn't be worth doing.

I think both Malina and Paradoxer are right, good therapy will involve talking about trigger and should be slightly anxiety provoking otherwise therapy is not moving is forward,  but anxiety provoking in a structured and controlled way.  That said, I don't think therapy is about deliberately producing triggers, but more about confronting them. 

 

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My Nan was in hospital after a fall, and the nurse was telling Dad how well she was doing at physio, apparently she had lots of movement in her left arm, then Dad says but it's her right arm that's bad...

Nan looks at him like he's stupid and says..

" I'm not going to be doing those exercises with my bad arm it hurts!"

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OCD therapy must be hands on where they take you out to confront your triggers. Sitting in a chair chatting is not very productive. For example, public toilets. It’s better to visit a public toilet with your therapist than to sit in a chair talking about public toilets. 

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On ‎09‎/‎09‎/‎2019 at 09:05, malina said:

Hey banthethoughts,

I am feeling a similar way about therapy and, in particular ERP. It's tough because therapy does force you to think and talk about your fears, which ultimately makes you more anxious. I think that you have to be prepared for this because you can't overcome your anxiety without facing it. What you're feeling is natural but it will fade and ultimately you will have to deal with a bit more anxiety for a while, but it'll go down and you will get better than you are now.  

Yes I agree with everyone, I am just in a really bad place. Not stopped crying for the past 3 days, have seen 3 health professionals in that time. I can't cope its worse than ever, I just don't want to wake up. 

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13 minutes ago, banthethoughts said:

Yes I agree with everyone, I am just in a really bad place. Not stopped crying for the past 3 days, have seen 3 health professionals in that time. I can't cope its worse than ever, I just don't want to wake up. 

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Have you ever had therapy before or is this your first time? For what it's worth, I have been in the place where you are now and was completely lost and terrified, not knowing where to turn, but in the end I was okay and was able to get back to my life. You have to take baby steps right now, make sure you're taking care of yourself, engage in something, maybe spend time with someone you feel comfortable with. Therapy will help, but it takes time and you need to have faith that the professionals know what they are doing. Whatever it is that you're afraid of, nothing bad is going to happen to you. Come on here for support whenever you need it, you're not alone. 

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31 minutes ago, malina said:

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Have you ever had therapy before or is this your first time? For what it's worth, I have been in the place where you are now and was completely lost and terrified, not knowing where to turn, but in the end I was okay and was able to get back to my life. You have to take baby steps right now, make sure you're taking care of yourself, engage in something, maybe spend time with someone you feel comfortable with. Therapy will help, but it takes time and you need to have faith that the professionals know what they are doing. Whatever it is that you're afraid of, nothing bad is going to happen to you. Come on here for support whenever you need it, you're not alone. 

Thank you, I have been in and out of therapy/meds for over 10 years. This has hit me badly and I cant see a way out. I have sought help but my GP isn't great I feel like I am not capable of making decisions and no one else can do it for me. 

There is just no end, over 10 years like this it feels like it will never get better. But thank you for your message.

Just feel guilt, guilt for the thoughts guilt for feeling like this and not making the most of my life I hate it and hate myself.

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On 10/09/2019 at 04:44, banthethoughts said:

Thank you, I have been in and out of therapy/meds for over 10 years. This has hit me badly and I cant see a way out. I have sought help but my GP isn't great I feel like I am not capable of making decisions and no one else can do it for me. 

There is just no end, over 10 years like this it feels like it will never get better. But thank you for your message.

Just feel guilt, guilt for the thoughts guilt for feeling like this and not making the most of my life I hate it and hate myself.

I've said this many times before, OCD guilt is far worse than real guilt. It's a hyper-injected simulcrum of the same - real guilt never felt so bad. Also from a cognitive point of view, OCD will often play up the need to not be a 'bad' person. As a result there's invariably a desperate scramble to tell oneself one should be a good person. Don't try, no one else is - yes, even those would be 'saints' - it's enough to just be human. 

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