Help with 14 year old son's OCD and to get some sleep!

[MollyB]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and hope I get some empathy and helpful answers! My son has suffered from anxiety for years, I've always striven to help him, take him for mindful /meditation type of therapy sessions and more recently, I tried some hypnotherapy but we could only afford a few sessions and I couldn't see it helping much with the OCD anyway. The OCD has gradually been getting worse, it started about 3 years ago as he was leaving primary school, initially it didn't seem to be too bad, or certainly not the main issue...now it has grown into different more debilitating forms and now it seems like it definitely IS the main problem! I took him to the doctor at the beginning of this year because he was struggling at school and getting depressed. She referred him to the 'Early intervention service ' which is offered by Relate, so initially he went to an 8 week support group with other youngsters who have different mental health issues. He found that helpful and made some friends from it,  but the leaders could see that he needs further help with the OCD itself. He has been seeing a therapist through Relate, and I believe she is attempting to form a plan of therapy to work through with him, but I've no idea how that is going...I ask him some questions and he tries to answer but it all sounds very vague at the moment...he's been going for 2 and half months now, his OCD was just about manageable during the summer, but it has gone pear shaped since going back to school!! His school are trying to be understanding but of course attendance have been on the phone because he has to have every Monday off to see the counsellor. My main concern is how to deal with it myself,  he and I are close and get on well, but I feel such a mixture of negative feelings about the condition. I offer him as much loving support as possible, but I can't help but feel anxious, frustrated, knackered (from work and my own life challenges!); some nights are the worst, last night it took him from 12.30 until 4am to get to bed (he'd fallen asleep on the sofa prior to 12.30, and I had fallen asleep exhausted next my younger son who I'd taken bed earlier).  As you can probably tell exhaustion and confusion are the key words here...should I just leave him to get on with his...er its difficult to say rituals,  it's more than just that...he'll often get stuck in an uncomfortable position, e.g. crouching or just standing but just so long his legs start aching, staring at something, explaining to it that things will be ok  he chants certain things I can't tell what. But what should take about say 20 mins can take him 40 to an hour! I feel helpless and wound up myself, I can't sleep if I know he is in an uncomfortable, possibly upset, and not resting. I've just no idea what I'm supposed to do to help, whether I should be  less involved or more involved...is it best to try and see his counsellor...because school are saying they want feedback from how it's going, and currently I've no idea nor how long it is going to take...I mean, how long do these sessions go on for anyway? I'm just completely at a loss nowadays and the rest of the family are affected too. Any advice or suggestions? 

[Andrea]

Hi MollyB ,

Welcome to the forum.

The first thing you need to know is that the treatment for OCD is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and medication. In many cases, CBT alone is highly effective in treating OCD, but for some a combination of CBT and medication is a more effective treatment package, especially if there is co-morbidity like depression.  Medication can be helpful in reducing anxiety enough for a person to start, and eventually succeed, in therapy.

I will give you my personal experience about OCD (I hope it helps). I have always had OCD but I had a serious crisis during the period I was at university. As a consecuense, I wasn't able to sleep during 2 weeks because of the OCD thoughts that used to pop up into my mind every second when the crisis started  (I was able to sleep like 2 hour per day). My mum rescued me (I was studying in an university away from home) and we saw a psychiatrist who gave me a OCD diagnosis and medication (SSRI: Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor). In my case, I was able to sleep again thanks to the medication that reduced my anxiety.

I have never had CBT because CBT is not available where I live. I have a couple of self-help books that have helped me to put in practice CBT on my own. You can learn a lot about OCD here in this forum and in the OCD-UK website. I am better today, thanks to te support of my family, my psychiatrist,  self-help books and OCD-UK.

I hope other members help you with their replies.

Hang in there MollyB! 

I send you a big HUG 

[Gemma7]

Hi MollyB

I'm sorry to hear that you're all struggling. OCD affects the whole family and it can be really draining. 

If your son is seeing a counsellor for counselling then it will unfortunately have little affect. He really needs to access Cognitive Behavioural Therapy preferably with a therapist who is used to helping OCD sufferers. Usually access to CBT for children is through the Child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS). 

The key to overcoming OCD is to understand how it is maintained. The best self-help book is Break free from OCD and I highly recommend it. Your son needs the support from a therapist but Break free from OCD will give you an excellent idea of what therapy looks like, what it entails and a greater understanding of OCD. 

There are also OCD-UK young ambassadors who talk openly about their struggles in OCD-UK's Guide for young children. You can download it here http://www.ocduk.org/teens/ or request a free copy. Hopefully it will give you all hope and realise you are not alone in your struggles