Help with 16 year old son

[Andrea75]

My 16 year old son has developed rituals around cleanliness which are gradually getting worse. I have paid for him to have CBT & also for him to see an NLP practitioner neither of which have helped as he is denial about the things he does. My GP is unable to help me as he’s 16 he has to be the one that requests help and there is no way he will do this. He constantly washes hands, will not touch door handles, goes through bottles of shower gel, will not go in his bedroom if he’s been out until he’s showered & put clean clothes on. He will only wear certain clothes out & has certain clothes for his room, he keeps anti bac wipes & spray in his room, this is just a few of his rituals the list is endless. He has type 1 diabetes & uses a pump which he will not touch without using a tissue or edge of his T-shirt, I’m at a complete loss of where to go or how to help. Any advice would be gratefully received.

[Gemma7]

Hi Andrea

I'm sorry to hear about your son. OCD-UK have a young person's guide to OCD, perhaps you could request a copy and show him it so he sees he isn't alone in his struggles. 

http://www.ocduk.org/teens/

I also recommend the self-help book Break free from OCD, it might give you tips on how best to help him and maybe if you show him it he might start to engage with a discussion about how to tackle his problem. 

If you have any further questions don't hesitate to ask

[Andrea75]

Thank you so much for your reply, I just feel lost at how to help him. I will definitely request a copy. 

 

[Gemma7]

I think parents often feel lost when it comes to OCD so you are not alone in that. OCD is really complicated and you can't see what's going through your loved ones head. And even if you could sometimes it's hard to know what the best way of tackling it is. Hopefully with the help of the guide you can open a dialogue with your son about what you can try next.

Have you spoken to him about what worries him?

[Andrea75]

I have tried but he just gets annoyed or says it’s just what he does. I took him to CBT just over 2 years ago as he was developing rituals, he would only walk on certain paving slabs going up the drive, he had to step on drain cover before getting in car, had to say goodnight certain amount of times to me as he was going up the stairs & I had to reply etc after those sessions that did stop but it has been replaced with the rituals around cleanliness which are progressively getting worse. He would not open up to the NLP practitioner and there was no difference in his behaviour after those sessions. I have spoken to his Diabetes Consultant about my concerns but he also says his hands are tied unless my son is willing to talk himself which he isn’t. I really want to try help him but he’s so shut down to what he does & why he does it I’ve mo idea where to go. I have ordered the guide & book you have suggested so hopefully they will give me a better understanding.

[Gemma7]

That's really hard. Sometimes it's scary to say what you are worried about as a sufferer. It could even be too stressful to say. I know when I was younger I worried something bad might happen if I told anybody my worries.

Once you have the guide and book you'll have a better understanding and then perhaps you could approach a conversation about it by saying something like scary thoughts are common, lots of people get them and that some people are sensitive to them. They react to try to stop the thoughts and something bad happening. But unfortunately the things people do in response to the thoughts actually make their problem worse. There are lots of people like you who are getting help to be less scared of their thoughts and to get their life back to normal. 

Perhaps if your son knew how many people were like him he'd be more likely to open up. I hope you get somewhere Andrea, it might be a slow process but your son can get better

[Andrea75]

Thank you so much for your reply, it’s actually lovely that someone listens & understands...much appreciated