Difficult time of year

[Ollie46]

I've been on a pretty steady upward curve recently after having to deal with my stolen wallet which set me back massively. 

The main problem I'm dealing with is just the hopeless depressing feeling I get when I fall into the OCD trap. In fact, sometimes I get that feeling not in relation to OCD, and the  it will result in me falling into compulsions.

This time of year had already got me down. I have quite a bad attachment to it from last year... it was around this time that I went into full relapse. My birthday is in a couple of weeks time- I will be 24 years old. Last year, my birthday was utterly ruined by my OCD, which was very upsetting. And now I feel no excitement, only worry, about it his year. It will also be the first anniversary of my grandmothers death, which had a big impact on me last year. On this very same week, I'm expected to go to a family wedding on extremely short notice, and I am also moving into a new house with my good friend. All of these things have combined, along with the rubbish weather, and put me into a pretty horrible stressed out state. 

Please send me some encouragement to get me through this nasty time of year. I wish I could view it differently, more positively. But last year, the autumn and winter only felt like pain to me, and it still feels fresh and now I have the stress of a wedding (that I frankly don't want to go to), moving house, and a family meeting to remember my grandmother on top of it all.

[malina]

I can completely relate here, autumn has always been a difficult season for me too. I initially had my really bad OCD episode and got my diagnosis around this time of year, then last year had my relapse this time of year as well and, funnily, it was my birthday a few weeks ago too! Just take it easy, don't worry about looking for positives or anything, it's not worth putting extra pressure on yourself. Rather, keep in mind that it's normal that reminders of a bad time in our lives will make us feel bad. Try to do some things that make you feel good and get some rest in between all of these big events you have coming up. There are just a few events and the wedding may even turn out to be enjoyable. 

[Guest Paul92]

Hi Ollie,

Sorry to hear you are going through a bit of a rough patch. The darker autumnal and winter months are always difficult for me. I think I also suffer from SAD, but I've purchased a SAD lamp this year for the first time ever so I am looking to watch benefits that will bring.

I would echo Malina. Be kind to yourself and also remember that the bad times do not last. You will come out of the other side. Everyone here at the forum is around to help.

 

[CAH_05]

I have the same issue with autumn. Each time I have relapsed has been autumn. So each time this time of year comes around I start to feel mildly anxious and depressed even if I am in a good place ocd wise. 

I had a good autumn and winter last year and what I found helped was to plan im some fun activities or days out of your feeling up to it. 

I also make sure there are lots of lights on in the house and get outside as much as I can. I am hoping this again will be a more positive season for me this year but I know I have to work on it.

[Ollie46]

Thank you so much for the response guys

Yeah, I will do my best to just accept that I will not be feeling great all the time during this period and try to fill up my free time with things I enjoy. I've never been very good at managing stress, particularly when it's been accumulating from multiple impending events. I used to be a bit better at taking things one step at a time, but sometimes when I'm experiencing bad OCD, it's like my brain becomes all scrambled and I can't think as sensibly as I know I'm capable of. 

But like I say, I think my main problem right now is all the external things from OCD make me feel bad, and then OCD creeps in whilst I'm feeling vulnerable or upset. So I think tackling the real life stuff will have a positive impact on my OCD. Doing things that keep me busy and doing the little things like this: 

1 hour ago, CAH_05 said:

I also make sure there are lots of lights on in the house and get outside as much as I can. 

will actually do wonders for me in the long run!