This illness has taken everything from me...

[humbleno1]

it really has and now im in a situation with consequences and more uncertainty, dont underestimate this illness, it isnt fair, this affliction is monstrous. its all well and good saying u know or get over thing, but how what about lasting consequences, that come directly from ocd fears and compulsions.

I cannot get a break ive been so unlucky in life, and I just cant take it anymore, its too much.

[Hal]

Hi humble,

However insurmountable what you’re going through at the moment seems, you CAN get through this...please don’t lose hope. Life can improve and come together again, genuinely it can.

You sound completely overwhelmed and exhausted by it all..what’s helped me the most when I’ve been in the same place is to try and take stock by writing down where I’m struggling and where I can begin making small changes now and those I can work towards in the medium and long term.

Medium term might mean finding a therapist you can trust, someone maybe the charity could recommend and help you access treatment with, but for now what’s most important is that you take care of yourself. Would it be worth talking to your GP about how you’re feeling, or would it help to maybe give Ashley a ring next week to talk things over with?

I really think it will help.

8 hours ago, humbleno1 said:

... but how what about lasting consequences, that come directly from ocd fears and compulsions.

But are they really genuinely lasting consequences, or is it just possible this is OCD up to its usual nasty sneaky tricks and magnifying those perceived consequences? 

Please tho,’ take it steady and we’re always here to help.

[Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze]

Sending  

I completely relate to how you're feeling. I'm also having to live with the consequences of my OCD fears and compulsions, and also how they've impacted on other people.

It's not easy. We will get through this though, and things will get easier. Some days will floor us, but we will get back up again.

Try to rest and cut yourself some slack.

[bruces]

I can relate my life has been a complete disaster due to complex mental health issues 

[humbleno1]

On 28/09/2019 at 16:55, Hal said:

Hi humble,

However insurmountable what you’re going through at the moment seems, you CAN get through this...please don’t lose hope. Life can improve and come together again, genuinely it can.

You sound completely overwhelmed and exhausted by it all..what’s helped me the most when I’ve been in the same place is to try and take stock by writing down where I’m struggling and where I can begin making small changes now and those I can work towards in the medium and long term.

Medium term might mean finding a therapist you can trust, someone maybe the charity could recommend and help you access treatment with, but for now what’s most important is that you take care of yourself. Would it be worth talking to your GP about how you’re feeling, or would it help to maybe give Ashley a ring next week to talk things over with?

I really think it will help.

But are they really genuinely lasting consequences, or is it just possible this is OCD up to its usual nasty sneaky tricks and magnifying those perceived consequences? 

Please tho,’ take it steady and we’re always here to help.

hey hal thanks, Ive been going to doctors, and hes referred me only for a diagnosis though, even though i was diagnose ten years ago, he wants me to take meds and I realy dont like the idea, as i have health anxiety too, but hes basically saying he thinks that i could get better just off taking meds, so is kinda not letting me get to help, im struggling to get out of bed, ive literally just been sleeping for the past month maybe awake 6-8 hours, i have no money coming in, and they want me to sign on, the access to help is just diabolical.

[njb]

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and oh yeah. Maybe one day we will all be on a cloud having a beer saying wtf was all that worry about.

Till then just wanted to add we are all warriors. May not feel like it but we are. 

Best wishes.

[Binxy]

It's taken everything? Well, then it's time to take it back.

Meds aren't necessarily a magic fix- people respond differently to them. They tend to be described as water wings (armbands?) on here by a few- they're not necessarily the fix, but they help take the edge off whilst you are working on the fix.

Get a referral for therapy through the GP (I think you can sign up for this yourself nowadays)- if that's not going to come any time soon, then maybe some self help books might help (possibly in combination with some folks chipping in about their experience on  the forum). If you can't afford to buy them, maybe a local library could help?

5 years ago I was in hospital, at rock bottom thinking their was no way back. I felt like I had no hope, the thoughts made me feel disgusted with myself. With some good therapy, and the right meds (for me), I slowly got myself out. I'm by no mean cured but I am able to do my job and have a relationship and know better how to repsond to the thoughts/concerns/worries etc.

Never give up!

[Hal]

9 hours ago, humbleno1 said:

hey hal thanks, Ive been going to doctors, and hes referred me only for a diagnosis though, even though i was diagnose ten years ago, he wants me to take meds and I realy dont like the idea, as i have health anxiety too, but hes basically saying he thinks that i could get better just off taking meds, so is kinda not letting me get to help,

Good advice from binxy. All being well though once you get the second formal diagnosis I’d have thought your GP’s out of the equation anyway with ongoing treatment.

I guess it’s a case of taking it a step at a time...but you’re absolutely within your rights to hold out for CBT with or without medication. It never hurts sometimes to remind the GP that under NICE guidelines we’re actually entitled to it, that usually does the trick and as binxy’s also said you can self refer depending on where you live within the UK.

https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/accessing-ocd-treatment-through-the-nhs/

9 hours ago, humbleno1 said:

im struggling to get out of bed, ive literally just been sleeping for the past month maybe awake 6-8 hours, 

This is where I’m going to sound like an an ancient old fuddy duddy...you need to set yourself daily small targets to work on and make yourself do. I know doing stuff’s the last thing you want to do when you’re feeling so run down by everything, but actively trying to stay busy and focused on regular life will be what gets you through this.

Can you work on getting your sleeping pattern back to normal, eating at set times and filling the time between with some exercise like a walk around the block or park?

Believe me, changes like that will make a massive difference to how well you’ll feel in yourself. It won’t solve everything but it will help and put you on a better footing for when the therapy gets off the ground.

9 hours ago, humbleno1 said:

i have no money coming in, and they want me to sign on, the access to help is just diabolical.

You’re entitled to that financial support and I think you should take it. It doesn’t have to be for a long time, look at it that for the time being you need some extra help until you’re feeling well again.

Maybe getting that organised could be one of your goals?

I know I’m probably going to sound like a broken record here, but you can absolutely get through this humble. Small changes here and there will all add up and help you break free.