taurean Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 The ongoing exposure work is necessary of course to lower the anxiety and prevent the compulsion to avoid taking hold. But as you surmise, the problem holding you back is the cognive reason being applied, through the OCD core belief, as to why that area of the floor continues to be considered bad. To a non-sufferer of this theme, it's just a piece of floor. The aim of the cognitive work would be for the meaning of that core belief to gradually fade away so the floor then becomes just a piece of floor. There is a latent theme of my OCD which is magical thinking (in my sister's OCD this is more to the fore). As a child aged around 8 we moved into my uncle's house, as he was working in London and sharing a small flat there. My bedroom was his former bedroom, furnished with his books and collectables. On top of the bookcase was a small framed picture of a man of classical origin. This picture scared me, it was "bad". I was scared of it, didn't like it. I could have tried to avoid it, removed it, turned it over. Amazingly I knew that wouldn't help. All I knew was logic and I knew that wasn't the answer. I had to take the "bad" out of that picture - had to be in that room with that picture without being consumed by thoughts of the picture. I didn't engage in what I now know as compulsions - try and find out who the man was etc. I decided it just needed to become "a picture" in my mind, same as for anyone else. I started to see it differently just as a picture. It started to slip into the background as I had challenged and removed the bad label from it. I stopped noticing it. It's the core belief being attributed to things that fuels the obsession, not the thing itself. When we defuse that core belief through the understanding element of CBT, we may then find ERP becomes successful. So yes, the seeding issue, the core belief why that area of the floor is deemed bad, is the problem fuelling the obsession. Link to comment
Ashley Posted October 9, 2019 Author Share Posted October 9, 2019 7 hours ago, Andrea said: Hi Ashley , I hope you can do it tomorrow Ashley. Remember that you are strong. You can do it Thank you Andrea, I am! I can do this, done it before, can do it again. The feeling to do this is not as strong this morning, but hopefully as the day goes on. Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 You've got this ashley! You are a billion times stronger than ocd. Tell it to take a running jump and not come back! Link to comment
Andrea Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 13 hours ago, Ashley said: Thank you Andrea, I am! I can do this, done it before, can do it again. The feeling to do this is not as strong this morning, but hopefully as the day goes on. Of course YOU ARE Ashley. I am absolutely convinced that you can do this. Just keep applying the tools you know to face your OCD. Keep trying, don't give up. You will succeed Link to comment
Ashley Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 About 30 minutes ago..... No hand washed, sitting in my chair, touched phone to take photo and have been and sat on my sofa. Anxiety was up, slightly dropping now. Go me!!! Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Yyyyyyeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!Well done Ashley x Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Looking good with a beard too Link to comment
Ashley Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 Beard compliments also accepted. I liked it until it started turning grey.. .I blame OCD stress Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 2 hours ago, Ashley said: About 30 minutes ago..... No hand washed, sitting in my chair, touched phone to take photo and have been and sat on my sofa. Anxiety was up, slightly dropping now. Go me!!! Fantastic well done ashley I agree the beard really suits you! Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 3 minutes ago, Ashley said: Beard compliments also accepted. I liked it until it started turning grey.. .I blame OCD stress No the grey is good, very distinguished and makes you look a little wiser, despite us all knowing you're not Link to comment
taurean Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 15 minutes ago, Ashley said: Beard compliments also accepted. I liked it until it started turning grey.. .I blame OCD stress Don't worry Ashley, I like my father went grey around your age, so why not reframe it as hereditary Link to comment
Hal Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 3 hours ago, Ashley said: About 30 minutes ago..... No hand washed, sitting in my chair, touched phone to take photo and have been and sat on my sofa. Anxiety was up, slightly dropping now. Go me!!! Blimmin’ brilliant. If I wore one I’d take my off to you mate, massive well done for kicking its butt Link to comment
taurean Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Nice lightweight fleece too. Trendy Link to comment
Emsie Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 5 hours ago, Ashley said: About 30 minutes ago..... No hand washed, sitting in my chair, touched phone to take photo and have been and sat on my sofa. Anxiety was up, slightly dropping now. Go me!!! Amazing! A huge well done Ashley! Be very proud. x Link to comment
Avo Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Well done Ashley. I Like the hoody - I have a similar one, your clearly a trend setter like me Link to comment
Andrea Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 8 hours ago, Ashley said: About 30 minutes ago..... No hand washed, sitting in my chair, touched phone to take photo and have been and sat on my sofa. Anxiety was up, slightly dropping now. Go me!!! Brilliant!!keep going Ashley, you are doing an outstanding job Link to comment
Ashley Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 Thank you all. I have to go again today, once is never enough. A saying used to describe OCD compulsions, but also equally important in recovery... wish me luck 13 hours ago, Avo said: I Like the hoody - I have a similar one, your clearly a trend setter like me Thank you! Indeed we are! I can't recall where I got this one from, maybe Sainsbury's lol. I must admit on my way to Majorca last year I stopped off in Liverpool to see a friend before my morning flight the next day and I had a rush of madness and purchased a similar Ralph Lauren one that cost arm and a leg... that one is only being worn once a year, too expensive to wear out in Belper Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 Good luck Ashley, you can do this Link to comment
taurean Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 (edited) 55 minutes ago, Ashley said: Thank you all. I have to go again today, once is never enough. A saying used to describe OCD compulsions, but also equally important in recovery... wish me luck Thank you! Indeed we are! I can't recall where I got this one from, maybe Sainsbury's lol. I must admit on my way to Majorca last year I stopped off in Liverpool to see a friend before my morning flight the next day and I had a rush of madness and purchased a similar Ralph Lauren one that cost arm and a leg... that one is only being worn once a year, too expensive to wear out in Belper Perhaps the Ralph Lauren one will get an outing in the Northampton during conference weekend Edited October 11, 2019 by taurean Link to comment
Ashley Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 1 hour ago, taurean said: Perhaps the Ralph Lauren one will get an outing in the Northampton during conference weekend Oh good idea, I might bring it if I remember. It's actually been packed away into my suitcase for next years holiday 2 hours ago, Gemma7 said: Good luck Ashley, you can do this Once is never enough when it comes to #OCD therapy behavioural work! Thank you to my colleague Sue for encouragement and the pic, I went a step further today, I placed my phone there, newly delivered boxes there. I had spent last 7 month's avoiding floor. Anxiety Level (2/3 out of 10), so I go again tomorrow. This is still only half way, other contaminated areas now need addressing, but this one had become urgent due to new colleague starting and I needed to get a new desk in there by end of next week. Link to comment
Ashley Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 The picture on the wall is that of our lovely friend Laura in Northern Ireland with her arms in the air, somewhere on the beautiful NI coastline. I feel like doing that right now! Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 Love the photo, have you lost weight, you're looking really good. Might just be the kicking OCD's butt rubbing off on you Link to comment
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