What would a normal response to this be? (anxious and upset)

[gingerbreadgirl]

1 hour ago, STEJ said:

It's okay. I'll respectfully bow out of the thread. It doesn't really seem right, me being somewhere where I'm expected to "leave God at the door" anyway.

Nobody's asked you to leave god at the door. There are many people of varying faiths here who talk openly about their faith as they should. I think you should just respect the fact that not everyone shares your beliefs and not talk about them as if they're true for everyone. It's about respect for other people. 

Sorry belanna I will stop writing here now. I hope you're OK x 

[dksea]

On 15/10/2019 at 13:49, STEJ said:

How are those two events not worth comparing when they both pertain to personal hygiene????? The bottom line is, I don't really consider washing my hands 3-4 times after defecating to be OCD in my case, considering I feel like my hands wouldn't be properly clean if the soap didn't lather adequately during the first washes!!!! I've looked up the matter online, as to whether or not soap actually cleans if it doesn't lather, and the general consensus is that it does clean if it doesn't lather, but if that's the case, why do you often get people who shampoo their hair more than once when they shower, just because it doesn't lather much the first time?? In my book, these differences in opinion means there isn't a definitive answer to my particular quandary, therefore I don't consider myself to be illogical or irrational if I continue to wash my hands if it the soap doesn't immediately lather!!!!! And if you're going to say that me washing my hands 3-4 times after defecating is OCD because I'm washing my hands more than you would, then I feel like I'm well within my rights to say people who shower twice a day are suffering from OCD because they're showering more often than I would!!!!!!

Learning how to ride a bike and learning how to fly a plane are both related to transportation.  But you wouldn't apply the same standards in terms of time required, training and certification necessary, etc. to the two situations because they are different.  Likewise the time taken to wash ones hands and the time taken to take a shower are not comparable, they are different situations with different criteria.

If you choose to wash your hands 3-4 times thats up to you, but you are doing so based on irrational OCD thinking not logical behavior.  The recommendation for washing ones hands, based on scientific and medical evidence is once.  Unless you have specific extenuating circumstances (such as a surgeon preparing for surgery) thats sufficient.  If you want to do it more then you can choose to do so, but the fact that you are doing it until you "feel right" and not doing it causes you distress is what makes this OCD.

A person who showers twice in one day COULD be doing so for OCD reasons, but they are not necessarily doing it for OCD.  Simply repeating a behavior is not proof of OCD, and again its faulty logic to apply that as your reason for declaring someone elses behavior to be OCD driven on that basis alone.  OCD has a very specific, very clear definition.  If the behavior in question does not fit that definition then its not OCD.  The criteria is definitely not simply "does something more than once". And its definitely not "Does something that takes more time than my own OCD behaviors".

 

[dksea]

14 hours ago, BelAnna said:

 

Hi All,

Would it be okay to start a different thread for this? I don't feel like it's going anywhere good really! 

 

Sorry BelAnna, I posted my last reply before I saw this comment.  You are perfectly right, this should be in another thread.  Maybe we can ask a Mod to split them off.

[dksea]

@BelAnna  To get back to the original thread, how are you doing with things now?  What are your thoughts on how you reacted and how would you handle things now if it happened again?

[BelAnna]

16 hours ago, STEJ said:

It's okay. I'll respectfully bow out of the thread. It doesn't really seem right, me being somewhere where I'm expected to "leave God at the door" anyway.

I didn't mean for you to bow out and Gingerbreadgirl didn't mean that you needed to leave God at the door.

I was just concerned that the thread was turning into one big argument because of the different opinions and I wasn't specifically targeting you; just wanting to stop the arguments before they escalated to personal insults. 

 

 

[BelAnna]

10 hours ago, dksea said:

@BelAnna  To get back to the original thread, how are you doing with things now?  What are your thoughts on how you reacted and how would you handle things now if it happened again?

Hi Dksea,

I'm okay thank you! I'm fine about this now; I did calm myself down and decide that it would probably be okay after a while but I have over-reacted to several similar situations since then. My reactions to OCD trigger-situations make my family members' lives incredibly stressful and that really needs to stop. 

I think I need to take a longer-term view on things because most of the smaller situations that I overreact to each day, won't be an issue in a month.

14 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Nobody's asked you to leave god at the door. There are many people of varying faiths here who talk openly about their faith as they should. I think you should just respect the fact that not everyone shares your beliefs and not talk about them as if they're true for everyone. It's about respect for other people. 

Sorry belanna I will stop writing here now. I hope you're OK x 

Don't worry Gingerbreadgirl, I didn't mean to ask people to stop writing, just to start a new thread for the discussion of topics like God (a trigger to my OCD) and to start a new thread for discussion of other topics (e.g. the effectiveness of CBT and whether or not recovery is possible); which might descend into arguments. 

Edited October 17, 2019 by BelAnna