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Hi everyone. Its been a while... Having a setback x


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Hi everyone 

Hope you are all doing well. Been off the forums for some time, my longest ever gap I think, so pretty proud of myself. I haven't been nearly as bothered as I was in the past. Feel like everyday life took over and I almost didn't have time to worry about it all. 

However this weekend I had the mother of all panic attacks and I have very quickly slipped back into that anxiety filled state and negative mindset all to do with my false memory. 

Long story short, I have met a great guy, after the heartache and trauma of last year. Things had been going great. In recent months I've had some personal issues with parents and I've been pretty stressed with that and one or two other things. Went out on Saturday on a lovely date and had the most loveliest time, had a few drinks but nothing too crazy. In taxi on way home, thankfully with my partner, talking away and the next thing I started to not be able to breath, I could not get my breath, I was so hot and felt like I was suffocating, I panicked beyond believe shouting I needed to get out, I need air. It was horrific and I was so upset. Ended up sat on the floor in the rain sobbing and not understanding what just happened. Needless to say I hardly slept and was so embarrassed the next day. My partner said I was talking about my mum and dad just before it happened. I feel my partner and taxi driver must have been so worried. I can only describe it like I knew what was happening but had no control to stop it. Its brought everything flooding back about that night at the wedding. The worry, the realness, the feelings, everything and I'm devastated. It's made me think about not being in control etc. Appatantly when I got into bed I heard police sirens and I was saying the police are coming to get me... Why would I say that? It must be because I know my memory is real. I'm just reaching out for support as I don't know what to do and feel really sad and worried x

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Hi Ste

It's really kind of you to try & help Saz by understanding her situation but I think for Saz', it's probably not helpful to go over the false memory issue or the detail.  I know it's hard to be up to speed with everyone, especially when you want to help.  I'm hoping you can trust me on this one :)

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Hi Saz,

You've identified your own problem quite accurately in that you had the Mother of all panic attacks.  Horrible, frightening but quite simple.  They can come out of the blue like this, particularly when you've undergone a period of stress, which it sounds like you have.  It's also very normal for the anxiety that follows to kick off racing thoughts and all the fears about lack of control.

You've now got to try and use all that you know to label this properly as a panic attack and resist the urge to start examining old doubts.  Try not to solve this, label it for what it was,  accept that it was probably a reaction to stress and that sometimes it's after a period of stress, rather than during it that these things can catch us out of the blue.  Panic attacks are common, they are scary and they seem so real that a high percentage of sufferers find themselves in A & E because they seem so real.

I'm really pleased you've found yourself a new boyfriend and that you've been getting along with life with minimal problems.  Get straight back there.  Label this for what it is a d keep a check on any compulsions that try to creep in.  This is all part of the next stage of getting even better at dealing g with things.  Stay strong :hug:

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4 hours ago, Caramoole said:

Hi Ste

It's really kind of you to try & help Saz by understanding her situation but I think for Saz', it's probably not helpful to go over the false memory issue or the detail.  I know it's hard to be up to speed with everyone, especially when you want to help.  I'm hoping you can trust me on this one :)

Hi Caramoole!!!! Thanks for understanding!!!! Sorry for asking, and yes, I trust you!! ;*D

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On 15/10/2019 at 16:58, Caramoole said:

Hi Saz,

You've identified your own problem quite accurately in that you had the Mother of all panic attacks.  Horrible, frightening but quite simple.  They can come out of the blue like this, particularly when you've undergone a period of stress, which it sounds like you have.  It's also very normal for the anxiety that follows to kick off racing thoughts and all the fears about lack of control.

You've now got to try and use all that you know to label this properly as a panic attack and resist the urge to start examining old doubts.  Try not to solve this, label it for what it was,  accept that it was probably a reaction to stress and that sometimes it's after a period of stress, rather than during it that these things can catch us out of the blue.  Panic attacks are common, they are scary and they seem so real that a high percentage of sufferers find themselves in A & E because they seem so real.

I'm really pleased you've found yourself a new boyfriend and that you've been getting along with life with minimal problems.  Get straight back there.  Label this for what it is a d keep a check on any compulsions that try to creep in.  This is all part of the next stage of getting even better at dealing g with things.  Stay strong :hug:

Thanks caramoole and so lovely to hear from you. 

Im trying hard to move past this but my anxiety and stress levels are through the roof. It's not so much now the panic attack on Saturday (if that's even what it was, am I making excuses for myself again) but how it's left me feeling now. I feel completely on edge and I'm struggling to keep the false memory thoughts at bay. Not felt this bad in so long. Absolutely devastated. X

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On 14/10/2019 at 20:47, STEJ said:

I'm sorry that you feel anxious again. ;*( What does your false memory make you think you might have done, if you don't mind me asking?????

Thanks for your concern, its appreciated x

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Really struggling. I can't believe how bad I feel after doing so well. Feel almost back to square one. Anxiety through the roof :( At a family party tonight and it's going to spoil my night. I have that sick feeling again. Just gutted. 

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Sorry to go on but not feeling strong enough to deal with this on my own. I feel completely down and anxious and not just about this, about other stuff too. Could burst into tears at any given moment :(

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