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Hi Powerless,

I am sorry to read that you are having to go through all of this!

Are you going to accompany your daughter to her psychiatric appointment next week? Hopefully you are, & if so, you need to explain all of this to them and push for CBT as soon as possible.

With regards to meds, if possible I would steer clear of medication such as diazepam, because they can be highly addictive and a problem to come off, also they are unlikely to actually help with the OCD. The usual route is anti depressants called SSRI's, but they can take many weeks to build in your system and often only really take the edge off of things. Personally, I take a small amount of a  different anti depressant (not recommended for OCD) and an antipsychotic, but I am doing relatively well with this after having good quality CBT too.

All the best.

 

 

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3 hours ago, Powerless said:

I have a question. How do I help her getting if that shower.she doesn't want me to talk even because she needs to concentrate she says. 

I'm not sure i understand your question--do you mean how do you help her getting out of the shower if she doesn't want you to talk while showering?

I would say not to try to approach resolving the rituals while she is at high stress times (like while showering) Trying to talk reason/logic to her while she is at the height of an OCD stress most likely will not reach her. 

At this point I would just wait until you have seen the psychiatrist before trying to approach this. When is the appointment? Will you be going along with her? Or can you see the psychiatrist separately? Hopefully the 3 of you could come up with a proper plan of how to approach this in a methodical way. 

Also I am wondering when you said before that she had OCD for a while but the 2 of you managed--how did you manage? Have you done any CBT before?

 

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4 hours ago, leif said:

I'm not sure i understand your question--do you mean how do you help her getting out of the shower if she doesn't want you to talk while showering?

I would say not to try to approach resolving the rituals while she is at high stress times (like while showering) Trying to talk reason/logic to her while she is at the height of an OCD stress most likely will not reach her. 

At this point I would just wait until you have seen the psychiatrist before trying to approach this. When is the appointment? Will you be going along with her? Or can you see the psychiatrist separately? Hopefully the 3 of you could come up with a proper plan of how to approach this in a methodical way. 

Also I am wondering when you said before that she had OCD for a while but the 2 of you managed--how did you manage? Have you done any CBT before?

 

Hello

We are seeing him in 7 days. In the past 3 weeks the contamination issue went up to 1000% before we were washing the clothes and shower was 30 minutes. But suddenly I don't know what happened. Issue is the same she gets out of showet and think she has peed herself. So even if she put her clothes on her clothes are contaminated and her hands because she touched her clothes. Today was hell. She brought back the clothes from the small room but I went to see her and she accused me of deconcentrating her. So I gave to wash it again. Floor. Door frame. But because she's dirty I can only clean her room tomorrow when she has the shower. I really don't know why suddenly it went like this. She was seeing a Councillor specialised in ocd but really she was just talking. 

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3 hours ago, Powerless said:

 She was seeing a Councillor specialised in ocd but really she was just talking. 

Hi Powerless,

Was this a private counsellor? In all my years of having OCD, I don't think I have ever heard of a "counsellor specialised" in OCD? 

 

 

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How long was she seeing the counsellor for? is she still seeing them? If so, it might be worthwhile to ask them if they do CBT specific to OCD. If not, maybe that can be part of your conversation with the psychiatrist of how your daughter can access CBT. And soon you should have the book too, so that will be helpful if you both could read that to have a good understanding of the approach that is normally taken with CBT. 

By the way, my OCD went in a similar way from pretty manageable to rapidly out of hand. For me there were some stressors that probably contributed to that.

 

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5 hours ago, leif said:

How long was she seeing the counsellor for? is she still seeing them? If so, it might be worthwhile to ask them if they do CBT specific to OCD. If not, maybe that can be part of your conversation with the psychiatrist of how your daughter can access CBT. And soon you should have the book too, so that will be helpful if you both could read that to have a good understanding of the approach that is normally taken with CBT. 

By the way, my OCD went in a similar way from pretty manageable to rapidly out of hand. For me there were some stressors that probably contributed to that.

 

How did you manage to reduce your stress levels when it went out of hand? Yesterday she told me to clean everything in her room once she would go in the shower. 

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16 hours ago, Powerless said:

 She was seeing a Councillor specialised in ocd but really she was just talking. 

 

8 hours ago, leif said:

How long was she seeing the counsellor for? is she still seeing them? If so, it might be worthwhile to ask them if they do CBT specific to OCD.

If they do CBT, and provide counselling specialised to OCD instead, then I am guessing that they were sought privately and not well up on the disorder.  

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4 hours ago, felix4 said:

 

If they do CBT, and provide counselling specialised to OCD instead, then I am guessing that they were sought privately and not well up on the disorder.  

I guess that's why i was asking how many sessions she'd had. I could see a counsellor spending a few sessions getting to know the client and how their disorder manifests, as well as explaining how CBT works and laying the groundwork to begin the reduction of rituals. I sought help from a couple of  private counsellors that said they do counselling for OCD and they did use proper CBT techniques. With me they said they would jump in pretty quickly to helping me with exposures since i had a good knowledge base around CBT techniques from using self-help books on my own.(I didn't actually end up seeing either one of them for more than 2 sessions though so don't know how it would have worked out.) 

 But I could see if someone didn't know much about the disorder, that they'd want to spend some time laying a bit of groundwork. That's why i was thinking it might be helpful to ask the counsellor if they do CBT and how that would work. That was actually what i would ask private counsellors before going to them to ensure that they did understand what a proper approach to OCD was.

 

7 hours ago, Powerless said:

How did you manage to reduce your stress levels when it went out of hand? Yesterday she told me to clean everything in her room once she would go in the shower. 

I didn't manage my stress levels. I just tried my best to make it through each day and eventually with the help of medication and CBT I was able to gradually reduce the rituals. 

I tried to ensure that i would eat at least once a day (even that was difficult but i would normally manage) and if i had any time/energy left without rituals i would try to relax somehow--with a walk, or some TV, or something. But even that was rare as my rituals would often take me quite late into the night.

I am wondering how you are managing--are you able to have times in the day when you can relax? I remember how hard it was on my family with the stress of it all. 

 

 

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Can't wait to see the specialist. Monday  had to stay with her at home we went out a bit. Tuesday she went to work but had a bad day. Spent ages in toilet. She sleeps in living room. This morning she woke up to pray then decided she had a wet dream because her pad was wet. I said it can be normal discharge. But she went back to sleep. She did go toilet quickly twice but of course of contaminated. I'm going to bring her some food. The wet dream requires extra cleaning in the shower in Islam. But I know it's not wet dream. I'm exhausted and so depressed. I lost 5 stones since April. 

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Hi Powerless,

Sorry to hear that the struggle goes on. Hopefully things will start to go in the right direction once you see the psychiatrist. Have you got the book yet? Let us know how it goes with the psychiatrist and come here whenever for some support. There's also another section on the forum for family and friends of sufferers--you might find additional support there from others who live with people who have OCD. 

 

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On 30/10/2019 at 22:54, leif said:

Hi Powerless,

Sorry to hear that the struggle goes on. Hopefully things will start to go in the right direction once you see the psychiatrist. Have you got the book yet? Let us know how it goes with the psychiatrist and come here whenever for some support. There's also another section on the forum for family and friends of sufferers--you might find additional support there from others who live with people who have OCD. 

 

Hello we saw the psychiatrist yesterday, before hand i had sent him a full report of the situation. he did one hour assessment with her.

he said she has severe ocd and she needed to be on medication straight away.

he prescribed fluoxietine, 20 mg the first week then 40 mg for 3 weeks then 60 mgs  for the next 2 years. hes confident she will get much better with the medication. yesterday she took one and after she was a bit different and more relaxed even if the contamination is now everywhere in the house. today she is at home with my husband. she is llying down not happy that everyone walked in the corridor after she walked. so we are all contaminated. my husband went in the samll room where i keep all her clothes and shes saying i need to rewash them. i know you need to wait a few weeks before you start seeing the effects  of the medication. he also said she needs cbt and erp, is threre a list t of good practionners online? i also got the book but she said she read it before and she thinks its just general chit chat about ocd and does not really help.

Edited by Powerless
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Hi Powerless,

That's great about the psychiatrist and the meds--sounds like a good start. Yes they take a few weeks to really have any effect and they really need to be done along with CBT. It's too bad if your daughter didn't find that book helpful. I haven't used that particular one but i had the impression that it was a workbook. I did most of my CBT/erp through workbooks and found it really helpful. Anyhow i can't help you in regards to a list of practitioners online but maybe somebody else will be able to.

Keep us posted as to how it goes...

Wishing you and your daughter well.

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