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Starting cbt today


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And I am terrified.

having a relapse currently due to a stressful pregnancy and it’s my first CBT appointment today. 

I always get triggered massively when starting cbt as I hate Having to go back to the start and explain everything to a new therapist and I sometimes come out feeling worse. 

I am feeling super anxious today.

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I am basically terrified that they are going to think I am suicidal and that I havnt got ocd. 

I have suicide ocd and have had it in bouts for about 7 years and am scared that they are going to tell me they are worried about me.

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That's great news that CBT starts today :):)

Even though I know it's hard, try not to worry about what the therapist will say or do. A lot of sufferers have similar fears and most come away feeling very relieved. Remember therapists have heard it all before. 

Just take your time with going through things that are hard to talk about, perhaps even tell the therapist when you approach things that trigger you, because it's all helpful information. 

Good luck :)

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22 hours ago, CAH_05 said:

I am basically terrified that they are going to think I am suicidal and that I havnt got ocd. 

I have suicide ocd and have had it in bouts for about 7 years and am scared that they are going to tell me they are worried about me.

I remember feeling the same when I had suicide related intrusive thoughts.  It took me awhile to finally admit to the mental health team at the clinic I went to what was bothering me.  They were kind and supportive and treated me for OCD because they knew thats what I had.  But even if they hadn't, even if they had been worried about my safety, thats a GOOD thing.  That shows they care, that they are looking out for you.  It might complicate things a bit in the beginning but you can always sort it out.  
 

23 hours ago, CAH_05 said:

I always get triggered massively when starting cbt as I hate Having to go back to the start and explain everything to a new therapist and I sometimes come out feeling worse. 

Maybe it would help to write things out before hand, create a summary you can give to your therapist that they can read and get caught up on and then ask any questions they might have.  That way you don't have to explain again and again.

I also think it would help you to really think about what CBT is for.  While its great when you can get in and visit a therapist and work with them, the overall goal of CBT is not to attend a series of appointments and then be "all better", its to learn skills you can apply for the rest of your life in handling your OCD.  If you are having to repeatedly go back to see different therapists and have different CBT sessions I worry that you are doing the steps while in therapy and then more or less stopping once the therapy stops or soon after.  Maybe this time you can try and focus on the exercises and how to handle these situations in a way that you don't NEED the therapist there to guide you next time.  It would be a lot more convenient for you and less stressful if you didn't have to rely on a therapist every time after all right?  Of course I hope the sessions go well and the therapist is supportive and helpful, but I really hope you will take a different approach this time.

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