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Worried that my boyfriend is gay or bi


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I've always worried what if I'm gay or bi now I'm worried that my boyfriend is. He said that there was one time when he got an erection by sitting on a guy. He said he was on a school trip when he was 15 and there wasn't any space to sit in their room so another guy sat on him or he sat on a guy and got an erection.

He said that he's never been interested in men. He said he's been approached by gay men but he said he felt really uncomfortable and rejected their advances.

We haven't had sex yet but he said I've given him a hard on. I couldn't date a bi guy. I know that sounds mean but I'm not into bisexual men as I would always worry that they prefer men and they they would give me AIDs. I wouldn't want to come home one day to my boyfriend ******* another guy. Is this experience that my boyfriend had when I was 15 a cause for concern? He said he wasn't interested in the boy and they never spoke about it.

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I'm not going to answer your reassurance seeking question. However, do you see the similarity between this snd your previous obsession? Both are about being something other than heterosexual. One focuses on you. The other focuses on him. Same old OCD.

For the record, even though this could be a wee bit of reassurance, 15 year old boys can get an erection looking at a tree.

Stop asking him questions about his sexual orientation. 

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21 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Can I just add and I know that OCD can focus on anything but if you were to date a bi guy it is a little offensive to think (a) he would give you AIDS and (b) he would be any more likely to be unfaithful than a straight guy. 

I don't mean to be offensive but it's a personal preference. I know that some gay people are not interested in being with someone who is bi either. For me there would always be that worry at the back of my head that he prefers men and he will feel that he misses being with and having sex with men. Some women don't mind bi men but for me it's a turn off. 

Having said that I have no prejudice towards people who are bi or bi men, they should be who they are but I don't want to be involved with them romantically or sexually.

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3 hours ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Can I just add and I know that OCD can focus on anything but if you were to date a bi guy it is a little offensive to think (a) he would give you AIDS and (b) he would be any more likely to be unfaithful than a straight guy. 

I think you're right, but since we're talking about OCD, perhaps it shouldn't be taken too much at face value. But then, the OP, goes on to discuss personal 'values' in the light of an OCD discussion. Not a good mix. 

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1 hour ago, paradoxer said:

I think you're right, but since we're talking about OCD, perhaps it shouldn't be taken too much at face value. But then, the OP, goes on to discuss personal 'values' in the light of an OCD discussion. Not a good mix. 

What do you mean? What does OP stand for?

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22 hours ago, lonelygirl91 said:

For me there would always be that worry at the back of my head that he prefers men and he will feel that he misses being with and having sex with men.

There is no difference here than if he were 100% straight and you worried that he preferred being with different women. Whether or not he is bi- is irrelevant because the problem is your irrational OCD driven anxiety. 
If your boyfriend turns out to be bi- and that makes you not want to be with him that’s a choice you have to make. But it will be your choice. And life will go on one way or the other. Only OCD demands you have absolute answers to hypotheticals like this. You don’t have to play that game. 

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