Need help - How common is this issue, ocd & superstition

[JJD83]

For years now i have suffered with porn addiction which i tried to beat and failed to do time and time again (I try to tell myself its normal and most people do watch it) - The main issue is everytime It happens I feel like something bad will happen to a family member or loved one and I have to remedy it (delete anything saved) - but then a few days later im paying on sites and saving the content i deleted again while telling myself its just ocd thoughts and to ignore it but i guess because i know im doing something i should feel guilty for, i'd be terrified if something actually did happen and it was me who caused it.

I then get superstitious about it all and that its just a neverending loop - i get paranoid me looking or saving sexual videos or images (Which i feel constant guilt for) will bring harm to a loved one.

I think its worse because I use to be fairly religious and I guess a part of me thinks the harm to a loved one is a form of punishment for me looking at this stuff

I then get funny with dates (dont look at porn within a week/month of someones birthday or something bad will happen to them)

I know its crazy sounding but is this fairly common in ocd?

Any help would be hugely great - I have never seen/spoken/taken anything to remedy these feelings

Edited November 3, 2019 by JJD83

[PolarBear]

I'm not sure if I can help you. I know OCD inside and out but you have another issue going on, porn addiction, that is intertwined with OCD. I'm not even sure at this point which should be dealt with first.

We'll talk about this but it may be that you need to talk to a professional to figure out what is best for you.

[paradoxer]

The 'superstition' you refer to, sounds like typical OCD nonsense. Try to respond to it appropriately, with disdain. 

Your porn addiction - different topic. 

[Angst]

My ‘magical thinking’ is that I have to do something to stop something bad happening. For example I have to walk down the right side on the street rather than the left side or something bad will happen. The idea just pops into the mind. This sort of thing happens rarely. 
 

My checking behaviours are to prevent something bad happening. Gas, electrics, doors. Even things like checking I actually posted a letter into a letter box.

OCD is defined as an anxiety disorder. Anxiety is about a fear for the future. Your anxiety is about what might happen after an event i.e. viewing pornography. Many people post about pornography. The availability has spread from the invention of the cheap printing press to videos to the internet. It has become a huge market. Plus dating apps, blogs, etc etc. Appearance of it on Twitter, Facebook etc. The internet disrupts traditional markets like gambling, publishing and retailing. It has disrupted the pornographic and sex industries. How it affects us is unknown. Perhaps you could limit yourself to the offerings of an older technology? Why not read the other posts on this subject?

Edited November 3, 2019 by Angst