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Trying not to engage but it's too hard


Guest Paul92

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First of all I can understand how you are feeling and OCD is a horrible illness.  

However,  what you are experiencing is like everyone has said is totally normal! Now you can accept what everyone has said and move on or continue to worry and obsess, and make yourself feel absolutely rubbish the decision lies with you! 

I would also just like to say that we have all had thoughts and we have all obsessed over such thoughts, thats OCD! And this is what we all have to battle with..... 

I also want to make you aware that every human being, has approximately 50,000 thoughts a day,  maybe more with us having OCD,  but like I'm saying 50,000 thoughts are alot that come and go in everyone's minds, they may have horrid thoughts, pop up thoughts, thoughts of what they are going to do or see, these thoughts could be anything,  and thats just what they are thoughts! They are nothing..... 

And lastly you have said numerous times that you absolutely love this dog! Dogs are good for our wellbeing and I think this dog may actually help you more! Got a thought? take the dog for a walk, got a thought? Pet the dog! Got a thought? Play with the dog..... I love dogs myself and think they are lovely creatures....So what if your thinking negatively about the dog, who cares no one, but your OCD is seeing it as an opportunity to make anything good and great into something bad and ****! And only you can change this! 

Enjoy the dog...... 

Jo x 

 

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15 hours ago, Paul92 said:

And obviously the thoughts I've had, what if they were genuine. I know you might not think thoughts are of any significance, but I don't think it is as clear cut as that. 

So, as an example, what if you genuinely found another woman attractive?  Thats normal.  People in committed relationships don't just suddenly turn off normal human perception.

You (like most sufferers) are placing an inordinate degree of importance on your thoughts and dismissing the importance of actions.
A committed relationship is one where a person COMMITS, thats an action, not a thought.  
I could think about punching an annoying coworker every day for the rest of my work career and it wouldn't be a problem so long as I didn't ACTUALLY punch them.
I could imagine robbing a bank to become fabulously wealthy, but so long as I don't actually try and rob a bank, it does not matter.
Normal, healthy, decent people can and do think horrible things.  How else do you think murder mysteries are created? Or any other work of fiction in which a bad thing happens.  Someone had to THINK about that.  Someone had to have those thoughts.

Yes, I agree, thoughts DO matter, but you are overemphasizing thoughts and underemphasizing actions to an extreme degree.  On top of which you are probably misevaluating the thoughts significance and meaning in the first place, applying some very black and white thinking (either I'm absolute chaste in my thoughts about women OR I'm a cheating monster, etc.).

When it comes to this issue you have to start by admitting to yourself that your not evaluating things very effectively because of the OCD, you need to reevaluate and base that reevaluation on outside perspectives because your internal one is broken right now.  You can relearn more correct thinking and behavior in time (thats what CBT is all about) but first, start by making a choice to stop taking your internal evaluations at face value in this area.

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