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CAH_05

Stopping compulsions increase in thoughts

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I know that this is normal and what should happen but I am really struggling. When I don’t do any compulsions my thoughts are intrusive feelings are every minute and it’s hoghly distressing. 

I have been here before I just forgot how hard it actually is. The thoughts feel more real. So scary 

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Hey, 

you're right it is natural, but it is short term pain that will make you better off. You need to endure some of this anxiety in order to see that nothing will happen and that you will get better. Are you getting therapy at the moment or any kind of help?

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I’ve got my first CBT appointment tomorrow, my therapist I am booked in with cancelled last minute last week as she was unwell. 

Is it normal to feel physically sick with anxiety? 

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Yes sadly it’s common to feel sick with anxiety. Since the appointment is tomorrow do you have anyone to support you today? Maybe someone to just do something nice with to calm yourself a bit and take your mind off things?

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I am working this afternoon so hopefully that will distract me somewhat. 

And my ocd kicks in and start thinking ‘is she asking that question because she is worried I am suicidal and shouldn’t be left alone?’

🙈

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1 hour ago, CAH_05 said:

I am working this afternoon so hopefully that will distract me somewhat. 

And my ocd kicks in and start thinking ‘is she asking that question because she is worried I am suicidal and shouldn’t be left alone?’

🙈

That is definitely not why I asked 😉 it’s just that you sound really upset and having some company can help pull you out of that. 

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I am struggling so much today. This is day 2 of really resisting the pull of google for reassurance. 

Literally the 5 days before that I was permanently on the internet trying to find anything to give me some relief. 

And after starting CBT yesterday I have put myself under strict instructions to not google or sit reading forums for hours and hours. 

Yeaterday evening I felt like something clicked as I realised my anxiety levels had died down and I was having glimpses of normal life. 

Today I feel the opposite. I have resisted the internet all day and I am struggling so much. I have vomited this morning through sheer fear and anxiety.

my intrusive thoughts, feelings and particularly urges have been constant and I just feel like I want to cry constantly. 

I am getting every type of intrusion. And my thoughts are crazy getting stronger and taking new angles. 

I am determined not to google and sit online but I would really like some encouragement as I feel so alone right now 

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Good for you for resisting Googling!! I think you’re doing great and having a spike in anxiety is sadly completely normal. It’s tough, for me having a break from anxiety seems to make it all seem entirely new when it returns. But this feeling lessens over time, you have longer stretches where you feel okay and the spikes become less bad. Hang in there and keep going! You’ve got this!

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15 hours ago, CAH_05 said:

I am getting every type of intrusion. And my thoughts are crazy getting stronger and taking new angles. 

 

Try to find some comfort and insight in that. Real concerns don't manifest themselves in, 'if it's not one thing it'll only be another'. 

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On 06/11/2019 at 03:11, CAH_05 said:

 

Is it normal to feel physically sick with anxiety? 

Everyone has anxiety as it’s necessary for survival. It does resolve itself in time. 

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well done for resisting googling.  You should be really proud of yourself. 

With regards to the intrusive thoughts increasing... yeah this is normal although painful :( just be careful you aren't doing any compulsions inadvertently such as ruminating, trying to push the thoughts away, analysing the thoughts, or whatever.  it can be sooo easy to fall into this trap without realising. x

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Thanks everyone for the replies.

I am still really struggling to resist compulsions. 

However I am trying my best to notice when they are happening. The intrusions are still constant and scary but I am trying to keep myself busy and distracted. 

So my question is, in these times of high anxiety what’s the best way to move forward. 

Will the anxiety just start to die down on its own if I keep busy or do I need to do some exposures? Like sitting with the thoughts, thinking them through, blowing them up in my head?

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42 minutes ago, CAH_05 said:

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I am still really struggling to resist compulsions. 

However I am trying my best to notice when they are happening. The intrusions are still constant and scary but I am trying to keep myself busy and distracted. 

So my question is, in these times of high anxiety what’s the best way to move forward. 

Will the anxiety just start to die down on its own if I keep busy or do I need to do some exposures? Like sitting with the thoughts, thinking them through, blowing them up in my head?

I guess doing exposures is the way to go, but maybe getting started on this with your therapist is a good idea. You can discuss this with them and come up with a plan for the types of exposures you should do. For the time being, I think keeping busy is a good idea but don't drive yourself crazy trying to fill every moment. Sitting with the thoughts is a good idea, just let them be and try not to respond or engage. I know it's hard but you can do it!

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