Rewinding when watching TV series

[VoidSeeker]

When watching recorded TV I tend to rewind a lot because I feel like I missed something or didn't understand it completely especially when theres something really important happening.
This compulsion is linked to outside noise. Whenever there is noise I tend to rewind or wait until it's quiet. Sometimes I start an episode over because of this.

What's the right approach to fight this type of OCD? From what I've gathered, in order to get rid of this I basically have to do nothing. Letting the episode play, not pause or rewind even when I have the urge to do so. (Pretending like I'm actually watching TV where I can't pause) But what seems paradoxical to me is that I have to be "okay" with missing something. Isn't OCD about false fears? This one seems like it's real because OCD is making me feel like I actually missed something. Is this really the way to get rid of this? I just want to have fun with my hobby again

[Angst]

I think most people watch live or recorded telly without full attention. I think there are exceptions - the scoring of a goal in sport. Also it is well known in porn streaming services that the producers keep track of replays and pauses so that they can make their product more appealing to punters. They conduct continuous market research on their consumers.
 

But in general people just watch. I think the standard advice is to stop doing it. In your case it is form of checking. Do you feel anxious about missing something?

[VoidSeeker]

11 minutes ago, Angst said:

Do you feel anxious about missing something?

Not necessarily. It's more like OCD is making me doubt if I really got this right.
What's funny though, when I rewatch an episode a week or two later I have zero problems. Thats probably because I already know whats happening.

[PolarBear]

You have to become okay with not getting it right. What if you didn't fully understand something? You think everyone else fully understands every show, every bit of dialogue?

Watch your shows and put the rrmote down.

[VoidSeeker]

Gotcha. Thanks for the advice.

[dksea]

8 hours ago, VoidSeeker said:

Isn't OCD about false fears?

An unfortunately common misconception.  OCD is about disproportionate response to fear, real or false.
For example, I can have a fear of being killed by lightning, a real and understandable fear.   A reasonable response would be to avoid going out in lightning storms.  An OCD response would be to avoid leaving my house at any time because "you never know when lightning might strike".
Your "fear" (or you could say unease, discomfort, etc.) here is not doing something "right".  A person who doesn't suffer from that fear might rewind a show if they feel like they missed a particularly important piece of dialogue or got distracted during a pivotal scene, but such behavior would be infrequent and not significant if they didn't do it.  A person who sufferers from your fear will behave as you are doing, rewinding repeatedly and ensuring they watch "right".  One is normal and reasonable, the other is unhealthy and excessive.

You are correct, the best thing you can do to break this is to just watch and if you get distracted keep watching.  Good insight, good questions, keep up the good work.

[Closed for repairs]

No practical advice from me, the others have it covered, just like to say , yep I do that, and reread bits in books, it's a bad habit and I shall try and stop it.

[O Neg]

Hello,

I have a slightly different slant on rewinding recorded tv. I rewind and watch again things which my OCD considers to be wrong or offensive. My wife sometimes has to explain to me that it is only tv and what I have seen is ok and that it is my OCD which tells me it is wrong. Well that or a dodgy camera angle.

[Closed for repairs]

Your wife must be the most patient woman in the world.

[VoidSeeker]

Quick Update: Been doing okay the last days with rewinding only once or twice and sometimes not at all. Today unfortunately two hours after I've watched an episode (without rewinding) I had a feeling that I didn't understand something. I gave in the urge and rewatched the episode. Now I know what I've missed and it seems more clear than before, but since I gave in the compulsion I probably made it worse. It's either doing what OCD tells you to do by rewinding over and over again, ruining the show this way or not rewinding at all, feeling like you have a  loss of memory afterwards which feels better than doing the compulsion but it's still annoying and ruins the enjoyment of the show especially when it's your favorite one

Edited November 22, 2019 by VoidSeeker

[Angst]

I signed up for a month’s free view of BritBox yesterday. I have watched four episodes without ads of Confession. It is a good telly thriller/police procedural programme. Based on a real case.  I did not rewind coz I could follow the narrative. Less well produced shows lose my attention, so I might lose some detail. So what! 
 

I subconsciously evaluative shows on their worthiness to be probably understood. Hollywood films with special effects and super heroes bore me to death. It is written and produced to a formula. Like romantic novels. A friend of mine used to write for Mills and Bloom and talked through the formula. Different genres but they both follow set scenarios. 

 If super hero films are on in in my house and I  miss a plot twist I could not care a less. I would not dream of rewinding.

Have you considered the idea that if you lose attention then the show is not worth your attention. Or am missing something?

Edited November 22, 2019 by Angst

[VoidSeeker]

14 hours ago, Angst said:

Have you considered the idea that if you lose attention then the show is not worth your attention. Or am missing something?

That's not the case at all. I'm not losing attention. And the shows I watch are all worth my attention because if that weren't the case I wouldn't watch them in the first place.
I blame it all on OCD. Before there was OCD I did not have any urge to rewind or go back and rewatch something.

Yes I get it. I have to endure the feeling of not understanding someting to 100%. But when OCD makes you doubt, it just feels so backwards when you desperately want to know something (which might be totally unimportant)

[PolarBear]

Take it to the next level. Don't press rewind. At all.

Will you feel uncomfortable? Yup.

Will you feel anxious? Yup.

Will you get over it? Yup.

[VoidSeeker]

4 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Take it to the next level. Don't press rewind. At all.

Will you feel uncomfortable? Yup.

Will you feel anxious? Yup.

Will you get over it? Yup.

Yes I'm gonna do this. I will post again in a few days/weeks and let you know how it went.

[PolarBear]

It's okay to mess it up. Just keep trying. Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.

[dksea]

On 23/11/2019 at 20:54, VoidSeeker said:

Yes I get it. I have to endure the feeling of not understanding someting to 100%. But when OCD makes you doubt, it just feels so backwards when you desperately want to know something (which might be totally unimportant)

Maybe its unimportant, maybe its "important" but heck, we all go through life without understanding important things too!  Thats normal.  No one can possible understand/get/notice everything.  Let yourself off the hook  

[VoidSeeker]

Hello again. The past weeks have been great. Most of the time I didn't rewind and the more I didn't the better and easier it felt the day after. Yesterday however it has become worse. It somehow started again and the more I rewound the anexiety rose. Even if I clearly say to myself: "No you won't rewind this time". Few minutes in and I'll start rewinding. The compulsion feels out of control. Since this is exhausting I then start the episode over and it takes me nearly double the amount of time it would take to watch an episode. On top of all of this I'll always have to wait until it's quiet. If for exp. there's someone playing loud music I go nuts. With noise around me I simply can't concentrate and it causes stress and stress causes the complusion. I already know at what time of day it "get's loud" so I'll have to plan ahead which is stupid if you think about it. I'll take a break for a few hours now and try again later.

Edited December 16, 2019 by VoidSeeker

[dksea]

8 hours ago, VoidSeeker said:

The past weeks have been great. Most of the time I didn't rewind and the more I didn't the better and easier it felt the day after. Yesterday however it has become worse. It somehow started again and the more I rewound the anexiety rose.

So there you go, you know you can get by with little to no rewinding.  Its unfortunate you had a spike, no one wants them, we want progress to be constant and always forward, but setbacks happen.  The correct behavior will be to double down on doing things the right way (avoiding rewinding, riding out the anxiety, etc.) and avoid doing the wrong things (rewinding, scheduling, etc.).  The more you do the correct behavior and the less you do the incorrect behavior, the better you will become over time.
 

8 hours ago, VoidSeeker said:

On top of all of this I'll always have to wait until it's quiet.

The thing is you don't HAVE to wait.  You feel like you need to wait, and you are making the choice to wait, and maybe for now thats the best you can handle, but ultimately you need to recognize that you don't HAVE to wait at all.  You could watch right through your neighbors loud music and the world will keep on going, and so will you.  Will you maybe miss some detail about the show you are watching? Possibly.  Will it be the end of the world if you do?  Almost certainly not!  You are trying to achieve a perfect state, where you can watch your show completely uninterrupted and pay 100% attention, taking in every single detail.  Neither of these things are necessary or really even possible.  The best thing you could do for yourself in terms of long term recovery is intentionally watch shows when you know there will be other noise and without rewinding, and when you miss some detail, some dialogue, etc, you just keep going.  Even if you feel anxiety, you just keep going. 

[VoidSeeker]

14 hours ago, dksea said:

So there you go, you know you can get by with little to no rewinding.  Its unfortunate you had a spike, no one wants them, we want progress to be constant and always forward, but setbacks happen.  The correct behavior will be to double down on doing things the right way (avoiding rewinding, riding out the anxiety, etc.) and avoid doing the wrong things (rewinding, scheduling, etc.).  The more you do the correct behavior and the less you do the incorrect behavior, the better you will become over time.
 

The thing is you don't HAVE to wait.  You feel like you need to wait, and you are making the choice to wait, and maybe for now thats the best you can handle, but ultimately you need to recognize that you don't HAVE to wait at all.  You could watch right through your neighbors loud music and the world will keep on going, and so will you.  Will you maybe miss some detail about the show you are watching? Possibly.  Will it be the end of the world if you do?  Almost certainly not!  You are trying to achieve a perfect state, where you can watch your show completely uninterrupted and pay 100% attention, taking in every single detail.  Neither of these things are necessary or really even possible.  The best thing you could do for yourself in terms of long term recovery is intentionally watch shows when you know there will be other noise and without rewinding, and when you miss some detail, some dialogue, etc, you just keep going.  Even if you feel anxiety, you just keep going. 

Thank you dksea. I think you put me on the right track. Let's say I've done all that and didn't rewind and intentionally watched something when there's noise around. The anxiety rose and I have the urge to rewatch parts of the episode. Am I allowed to or should I stay strong and refuse no matter what? It feels like this is yet another sub-compulsion of this whole thing.

[Closed for repairs]

34 minutes ago, VoidSeeker said:

should I stay strong and refuse no matter what?

Yes, it's only a TV show.

(Obviously im a massive hypocrite, as I'd be rewinding like mad, but stay strong and keep that finger off the button!)

[dksea]

8 hours ago, VoidSeeker said:

Thank you dksea. I think you put me on the right track. Let's say I've done all that and didn't rewind and intentionally watched something when there's noise around. The anxiety rose and I have the urge to rewatch parts of the episode. Am I allowed to or should I stay strong and refuse no matter what? It feels like this is yet another sub-compulsion of this whole thing.

Its expected that the anxiety will rise, you are challenging the intrusive thought.  Its like trying to break a bad habit, or to not itch something, at first it will seem stronger and stronger as you resist.  The best thing to do, in all these situations, is to resist doing the compulsion completely.  However, realistically that may not always be possible, we are humans not machines, we get worn out, we have other demands that we need to address, sometimes we give in to compulsions.  Its not ideal but its not a disaster, SO LONG AS you are working at at least improving your response.  So if you find yourself having a lot of trouble resisting, you can try a gradual approach.  Give yourself a set period of time, 5 minutes is usually a good one.  Try and resist the compulsion for at least 5 minutes.  5 minutes isn't too long.  When 5 minutes are up, see if you can go for another 5 minutes, etc.  If you can't, ok, you can't, but at least you went 5 minutes.  Next time try for 10, then 15, etc.  By progressively delaying you'll be upping your resistance and increasing your improvement.  But don't just wait 5 minutes the first time and give up, try and last as long as you can each time.  One more thing, some days are harder than others.  Some days you just have a tough time, some days you are just worn out.  Some days you might not last as long as you did the previous day.  Thats ok as long as it doesn't become the norm.  The idea is to trend towards waiting longer and longer, but like life (or the stock market) its not a straight climb, there are peaks and valleys.  Remember, OCD recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.

So the primary goal should be to resist doing the compulsion at all, the secondary goal, which is still ok, is to resist at least for some time and in general trend towards resisting longer and longer.

[VoidSeeker]

After my post on Monday I've managed to watch several episodes again without rewinding. Like you've said I've tried to achieve the unachievable by trying to understand everything to 100%.
And I know for a fact that even if I go and rewatch parts afterwards it's just fueling the OCD and making me feel even less certain of what I've just watched. Like seen in this diagram I've made:

I'm accustomed to the delaying. I also have Pure O and when I get a thought I just refuse to react to it in any way. 30-60 minutes later and it's gone or not as intrusive anymore. But for this physical compulsion (Rewinding) it takes longer.
I will try and make a game out of it. How many days can I go without rewinding/scheduling? The only thing I'm worried about is the feeling of uncertainty and enduring it.

Edited December 18, 2019 by VoidSeeker

[dksea]

4 hours ago, VoidSeeker said:

I also have Pure O

When I was first diagnosed with OCD I thought I had "Pure-O" too.  After all I didn't wash my hands a lot, or count things, etc.  I just had obsessions. No compulsions.
I was wrong.  And unfortunately so are you.  Because, the thing is, "Pure-O" doesn't exist.  Its a myth.  Or more accurately a misunderstanding.
I absolutely had compulsions, just like other OCD sufferers.  Checking.  Ruminating.  Reassurance seeking.  Sure my compulsions didn't often have a physical component like hand washing, but they were there none the less, and they affected me negatively the same way a hand washers compulsion affects them negatively, by reinforcing the OCD.

You don't have OCD and "Pure-O", you've just got OCD.  I don't tell you this to be mean or rude or anything, I tell you to help your recovery.  Because, trust me, thinking that Pure-O is some separate condition, some thing you handle differently is going to slow down your recovery and waste a lot of your time and effort trying to treat the two things separately when you can and should treat them the same.  You may struggle more or less from obsession to obsession.  Some get their claws in us more deeply than others.  But it could just as easily have been the other way around.  Rewinding could have been the milder obsession and whatever you are dealing with that you classify as "Pure-O" could have been harder.  It didn't work out that way this time.  In both cases your response should be the same, avoid compulsions, readjust your thinking towards the obsession, and work at moving forward.  

Its understandable to dislike the uncertainty and anxiety.  Obviously its much more pleasant NOT to deal with that, but try not to focus on it.  Worrying about worrying is itself a hurdle to overcome for OCD, it becomes its own obsession.  When a problem comes up, you deal with it as best you can, and keep moving forward.  Why?  Because thats the only way to get better.  Sure enduring the uncertainty is unpleasant, but you know what's worse?  Giving in and being trapped in a living hell of OCD for the rest of your life.  Recovery is the better path, always.

 

[VoidSeeker]

True. If you think about it, it's all the same just with a different theme. I don't want to go into detail about the Pure-O stuff (or however we wanna call it) but I find it harder to resist the thoughts compared to the rewinding compulsion because the thoughts come in randomly and the automatic fear that comes with them just feels awful. I however know that each and every one of these damn thoughts are insignificant and I can't control the thoughts I get. They just come in. And I need to make the choice not to react and ignore. (That's obviously easier said than done)

Edited December 19, 2019 by VoidSeeker