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CAH_05

Extreme panic and despair

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I am really struggling at the moment. 

I am trying to cut back on compulsions but it’s killing me. 

I feel so out of control and sick. 

I feel like my head is going to explode and like there is no escape from the thoughts or anxiety. I know this is not true as I have been here before. I have recently (5 days ago) increased my sertraline so wondering if it’s that!

i can’t focus at work or having conversations. I am scared to be alone, scared to be in my house but scared to leave. 

Really need some encouragement that other people have felt like this before?

my ocd revolves around suicide so these feelings deeply effect me. 

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I am freaking out that the increase in meds is making me suicidal

i don’t want to be I am terrified of the thoughts and possibilities 

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Hi CAH_05 :)

It sounds like you're just experiencing very high anxiety. I can't concentrate at all when I'm really anxious. Is there something you can do right now, something pleasant that you can focus on instead of all these worries? If you can this will help bring your anxiety down and you'll feel tonnes better :)

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I’ve just left work coz I felt like I couldn’t cope any longer being stood in the same place.

and now I feel so disappointed in myself for giving up to the anxiety 

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Never mind, you feel bad enough already so try not to add to it by beating yourself up about leaving work. Now you've left work try and focus on dealing with your anxiety in a healthy way. Treat it as caused by your OCD, act like there's nothing to worry about and focus on doing something nice for yourself :)

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Hang in there! Be gentle with yourself, so you felt bad and left work, no need to be disappointed. You’re going to make it through this I promise you! I’ve told you my story and I know exactly how you’re feeling. It’s awful but it will eventually stop and you will be just fine xx

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Thank you for replies 

I have calmed down a lot since being home from work. Went straight to my mums to lay on her couch for an hour.

and I have just come home with my little boy and we are home alone as my partner is working away at the moment. This is a huge exposure for me really as I have been afraid in my own house lately so I know that I cant avoid being alone here as I don’t want to get any worse.

i know I will feel better at some point, you just forget how utterly horrid and terrifying it is.

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