Feeling very stressed at the moment

[BigDave]

Thanks for all of your feedback guys. I swear to God though it’s every little thing that is getting me at the moment. The big one today is my genitals. Essentially I am in constant fear that my hands are going to touch them. It’s bad enough on normal days. I think, ok I could touch urine. But recently I’ve met someone and when we chat I can get a little, you know, and then it’s there and I’m constantly feeling like I’m touching it by accident or something is brushing against it and I’m thinking maybe there are urine or other fluids on my hands or my phone or whatever. I’m going out of my mind. I know you are going to say that I should just ignore the OCD bully but I’ve just had a second shower because I touched my hair after I thought I might have touched it. I just really hate my life at the moment.  

[PolarBear]

Do you understand that that second shower was a compulsion? Do you understand that compulsions make your situation worse? The more you do them, the worse off you are.

You have to start standing up to your disorder and refusing to do these completely unnecessary and harmful compulsions.

[BigDave]

So you are saying that I shouldn’t care if I touch my genitalia? I shouldn’t even wash my hands?

[PolarBear]

Dave, two points.

First, you didn't touch your genitals. The thought that you did is an obsession, an intrusive thought. It is 100% fake. Not real. A lie. Never happened.

Second, even if you did touch down there and then touch your hair, there was no reason to shower. The thought that you needed to was, again, a lie.

I know these thoughts feel real. They're not. They're always lies. You need to start recognizing that, calling the disorder's bluff and refusing to do the compulsions.

[BigDave]

I hear tut and I know you are right that I probably didn’t touch them. I guess what I’m getting at is whether I should confront the fact that even if I did that it isn’t a big deal and that I shouldn’t react on it. Do you see what I mean? It’s the whole idea of urine and semen as being things I’m really worried about having on me and or spreading. It’s not like I’m spreading nuclear waste. 

[PolarBear]

Well, see, you already reacted. You took that second shower.

[BigDave]

I know but what I’m saying is I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t have because it wasn’t a big deal??

[PolarBear]

Absolutely. Water under the bridge now. Try to recognize those thoughts in the future and try hard not to react to them.

[Closed for repairs]

12 hours ago, BigDave said:

It’s the whole idea of urine and semen as being things I’m really worried about having on me and or spreading. It’s not like I’m spreading nuclear waste. 

This is it in a nut shell,

You know it's not a big deal, 

OCD grabs that tiny bit of truth,

"I don't think urine is very nice"

And keeps warning you about it like a fire alarm going off in your head, it keeps upping the stakes until you do something about it, but because there is no real danger you can't fix it, so you get less and less relief.

Washing 10 times doesn't work because you know that the urine was gone the first time, and even if it wasn't you know its not that important.

After all you are convinced that your brother is covered in the stuff, and he seems to come to no harm.

You already know this, the next step is applying this knowledge to help you get better.

And yes it is going to be tough.

And no I haven't managed it yet either.

Good luck.

[BigDave]

So I have a question I think I know the answer to but I got some urine on my legs when I went to the toilet. Just droplets but didn’t wash them off. Said screw it and went to bed. I then had a sudden jerk movement in my leg and now I think I have urine of some of my stuff in my bedroom especially DVD’s. So I was planning to wipe them but may not. Still feels ridiculously gross. 

[Closed for repairs]

Go to bed.

due to family reasons, I have been standing in bare feet on a damp urine soaked pedestal mat.

it is not the most pleasant of things, but it’s quarter to twelve and I’m tired so I’m going to leave it  and deal with it in the morning.

well done on leaving the urine on your leg, see how you feel about the DVDs tomorrow, DON’T spend all night cleaning.