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I just cant overcome this.


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I dont see a way out, and I just dont even have motivation to post here, how did I get here? lifes so cruel, I dont understand, im getting tired of living, im tortured everyday.  I want to go back in time, but I can't, I feel so doomed, I hate myself, how did I get in this position, there's no hope, whats the point?      somethings you cant accept. somethings are just messed up.

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As much as I can empathise here, where you feel like all hope is lost, it really is fixable.

54 minutes ago, humbleno1 said:

I want to go back in time, but I can't, I feel so doomed, I hate myself, how did I get in this position, there's no hope, whats the point?

Here's the truth of it; no you can't go back in time, no you are not doomed, there is absolutely no reason for you to hate yourself, there is most definitely hope, and the point of it all is getting yourself into a position in the future where you are happy and living an enjoyable life alongside your OCD. 

Chin up :)

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I hear you, Im suffering so badly this illness is destroying my soul, it affects every minute of my day with everything I do, think of, look at etc etc. Is recovery possible or as I feel to end it all seems the only way out. I cant go on like this.

 

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There is a way out. It involves stopping doing what you have been doing for so long. Your compulsions. Your rituals.

Everytime you do one, you make your OCD worse. You think you have to do them, but you don't. It's all a big lie.

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1 hour ago, humbleno1 said:

Does everyones life get worse as time goes on?, or is it just mine, it just seems to get worse and worse, I thought life got better?

Everyone's life gets worse, without exception. What do you think? All of the above and not at all. As for the assumption that life (only) gets better, I don't know where you got that idea. 

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Hello humbleno1. I am so sorry to hear of your problems with OCD. You sound desperate. I myself have had such sentiments, sometimes everything seems hopeless. Let me assure you are not alone with these terrible thoughts. I have the most terrible and disgusting thoughts which leads to guilt and sleepless nights. Please be assured there is hope, what ever your problems may be.

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They say nothing’s certain but death and taxes, and even those are up for debate.

Tomorrow you could get  hit by a bus or win the lottery, fall in love or catch a cold, hear the funniest joke ever told or read the saddest story ever written.

 Cherish small victories, they are the embers of hope that you can blow on and tend till the fire catches.

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there is no small victories, i know people say everyone think theres is different, MINE IS different, ah theres no point in me positing anyway nothing can change it, and i cant accept it no matter what anyone says, im suicidal so, i hate myself coz i dont have the guts to do it, i pray one day i find the strength to end it, because this just wasnt meant to be this way and i cant live with this.

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1 hour ago, humbleno1 said:

there is no small victories, i know people say everyone think theres is different, MINE IS different, ah theres no point in me positing anyway nothing can change it, and i cant accept it no matter what anyone says, im suicidal so, i hate myself coz i dont have the guts to do it, i pray one day i find the strength to end it, because this just wasnt meant to be this way and i cant live with this.

@humbleno1just go ahead always, never give up. I am in the same shoe as you, severe OCD but try to think about the small positive things around you. Imagine I did not sleep for more than 2 weeks long time and I am still here. You are very strong, your body and soul. Don t let your OCD to defeat you. YOU are the boss, you are the man, you will be successful on the long run, just keep it up!!!!

Edited by Lewis OCD
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2 hours ago, humbleno1 said:

i know people say everyone think theres is different, MINE IS different

Yours is the third post I’ve seen today who claims their OCD is somehow different, somehow worse than everyone else’s. 
 

Does having OCD suck? Absolutely. 
Would life be better without OCD? Almost certainly. 
Is it going to get better just being sad/angry/upset at OCD? Not likely. 
Do we have decades of evidence supporting CBT and/or medication as being very successful at helping people overcome OCD? We sure do. 
 

Like any problem we can only offer advice and support, we can’t make you choose to follow the path to recovery. You have to make that choice, you have to do the hard work. We have all been in dark places because of OCD. We have all suffered immensely because of OCD. Recovery is not a miracle, and it’s not something that requires any special talent. It’s something you decide to work at. If you want it, you have to fight for it. Isn’t having a better, happier, life worth fighting for?
 

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1 hour ago, humbleno1 said:

what i find amaazing is, it causees the things u dont want to be true to come true. its really amazing.

To be fair there is probably a lot of things that you don't want to come true that don't come true.

Although it is disappointing that it never convinces me I'll win the lottery.

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16 minutes ago, Closed for repairs said:

To be fair there is probably a lot of things that you don't want to come true that don't come true.

Although it is disappointing that it never convinces me I'll win the lottery.

In fact, 

When I go and check stuff, I have never left the light on, never left the windows open, never caused a fire by not unplugging stuff, etc, etc.

At the moment I'm aware of at least 3 people on here who think they have cheated on their partners, (didn't happen).

Several people who fear spreading illnesses, (no more likely than anyone else).

And one guy who has to confess he's stuck a Christmas decoration up his bum. (Sorry @O Neg  but you just haven't done this listen to your wife).

None of this is any more likely to come true than random chance.

It's OCD not a magic spell.

Edited by Closed for repairs
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sometimes too much stuff breaks u down, its too much to bare - its self pity sure but - this thing literally ruined my life and u know what people like it, they like ur life ruined, im tired of living, in all honesty, its too much this isnt fair, this ocd, i know we have a choice but also, it can influence u to do things,  this is not a life with ocd, its a half life at the best at times, and at the worst, its a fate worse than death if u ask me.

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3 hours ago, humbleno1 said:

its too much to bare - its self pity sure but - this thing literally ruined my life and u know what people like it, they like ur life ruined

This is more than self pity I'm afraid, this just sounds completely defeatist.

There are people far worse off in general, or with conditions far worse than this, living with far more pain than we as OCD sufferers do. 

The interesting part is we can actually make a change with this condition, break the mould, try something different, because we can! OCD does not have to ruin lives at all, it's not strong enough if you starve it of power.

Resigning yourself to doom and gloom is not gonna help you out of this hole I'm afraid... 

Chin up :)

B

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9 hours ago, dksea said:

Yours is the third post I’ve seen today who claims their OCD is somehow different, somehow worse than everyone else’s. 

 

And isn't that part of its perennial game plan - that obtuse conceit. I remember at an OCD support group, sufferers comparing their (fill in the adjectival 'category' of  OCD) and claiming their's was worse. 

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5 hours ago, humbleno1 said:

sometimes too much stuff breaks u down, its too much to bare - its self pity sure but - this thing literally ruined my life and u know what people like it, they like ur life ruined, im tired of living, in all honesty, its too much this isnt fair, this ocd, i know we have a choice but also, it can influence u to do things,  this is not a life with ocd, its a half life at the best at times, and at the worst, its a fate worse than death if u ask me.

I understand how horrible it can be, how it can mess with your life, how it can make plans you made before seem impossible now, and all that is painful.  But the thing about life is it can change, including for the better.  Just because things are awful for you right now, and I don't doubt they are, doesn't mean they will be that way forever.  

Its ok to be upset at times, its ok to be angry at times, its ok to be sad at times, we all deserve to have a little self pity now and then.  There are things going on in your life you can't control, sometimes big, sometimes small.  OCD is not something you asked for, you can't control that you got stuck with it, anymore than I can control that I was born with asthma, or someone else can control that they are born blind.  But you can make choices to deal with the rough things that happen in your life.  And you are not alone in dealing with this.  Not only is there the forum here full of people who want to help you on your path to recovery, theres re doctors and charities and mental health professionals and friends and family too.  But you need to make choices that can lead to recovery too, you can't just wait for things to improve.  I wish that weren't the case, I wish you could just sit back for a few days and you'd just feel better.  Unfortunately OCD recovery doesn't work that way, its not like a cold.  But it is worth it, I've been in some very dark, very sad places in my own life because of OCD.  While I am happy in my life now, there are definitely aspects of it that would be different had I not had OCD.  You can't change the past, you can change your future.  It isn't hopeless and its definitely definitely worth it.

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