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vivi_x

Ocd and uni deadlines

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Ocd makes uni really hard. I’ve got a deadline soon and I’m sitting here crying and paralysed with fear that nothing I do will me good enough which means I can’t do anything which means I’m wasting time which means I’m definitely gonna fail and I’m really struggling and I don’t know how to cope

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Hi there! I'm a uni student too and it's deadline season for me too. I can totally empathise there. I'm sorry you're struggling. 

In terms of OCD advice, work on challenging the thoughts. Try and remember the reasons why a thought might not be as true as your OCD would like you to think! There are some good resources on the OCD-UK website, and perhaps there are books that might be able to help you? I think my uni library has one or two and one was available as an online file. Perhaps yours does too? 🙂 Maybe working through some of the activities about challenging your thoughts might help you? 

As for uni in general, can you apply for an extension on your deadline to give yourself a moment to get some extra support? Be honest with your tutors; they're there to support you! You can ask your Student Union to help you, if you need, too! And Student Unions often have some great resources too on dealing with mental health issues at uni.  

Maybe make an appointment with someone at your uni who can help - student support services or the disability team are usually a great place to start! Or if you have a personal tutor/supervisor responsible for you during your whole time at uni, maybe they can help point you in the right direction. Maybe they can help you talk to your course lecturers on your behalf, or help you to find the support you need! 🙂

Have you got a doctor/therapist you can go to for a bit of support? Do your family/friends know you're struggling - can they help? 

Look after yourself. Your mental health is, ultimately, the most important thing. 🙂

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I am sorry to hear about your troubles. Have you spoken to your university about what you are going through? I have been where you are and my university provided me with some excellent support which included more time in which to complete coursework and extra time in exams. If you haven't already, speak to your GP about CBT. The therapist should be able to provide you with some good tools for you to use to make sure that anxiety doesn't get in the way of your studies. 

It is easier said than done, but set aside a few hours tomorrow to get started. If you give it a good go then you give yourself a chance of doing really well and you can also be proud of the fact that, despite what OCD puts you through, you tried. Also, once you have made some progress, make sure you take some time to do something you enjoy and take your mind off your deadline.

 

 

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1 hour ago, ivybasil said:

Have you got a doctor/therapist you can go to for a bit of support? Do your family/friends know you're struggling - can they help? 

 

42 minutes ago, Just_Beat_It said:

The therapist should be able to provide you with some good tools for you to use to make sure that anxiety doesn't get in the way of your studies. 

My uni isn’t very good at giving extensions and the lecturers are pretty unhelpful in troubling situations, my house mate grandfather died and our lecturer told her she wouldn’t get mitigating circumstances even though she had to look after her mentally ill father and that if she did get it it would be a real inconvenience to him. 

I have recently started cbt but there’s a long way to go and I’m finding it extremely hard. 

Some of my friends and family know but I don’t want to be a burden and I’m already letting them down by getting bad grades so it’s reallg hard. I feel like there’s no one I can turn to and nothing I can do to escape which is really scary 

I’m sorry, I’m not being very productive and I appreciate the replies I just am not very good at this 

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You have nothing to apologise for! 🙂

You're not letting anyone down. You're struggling with an illness that's affecting your studies, and it sounds like you're already taking steps to work through it; I'd say that's something to be proud of! 

I'm sorry your uni are difficult about extensions. That's so frustrating! I think perhaps I'd try anyway, but put my request in writing in an email? Or go to your student union or student support to help you ask for it - that's the sort of thing they're there for. 🙂

For this assignment, maybe create a plan for today to help you make a start? Is it an essay assignment?

Have you heard of the pomodoro method? It involves setting a timer for 25 minutes, working in that time and taking a timed five minute break and repeating the process. And every couple of repeats, take a longer break. I find it a useful technique when I'm struggling because it breaks up the study session and means I don't get too overwhelmed sitting there! 

Write for you, edit later. But if you've got a piece of work that meets the minimum requirements, you've got something to hand in even if you don't manage to do anymore. 🙂

Also, your work doesn't have to be perfect. Even the marking schemes don't ask for perfection. It's something I'm working on accepting too! 😅

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9 hours ago, vivi_x said:

Some of my friends and family know but I don’t want to be a burden and I’m already letting them down by getting bad grades so it’s reallg hard.

Hi @vivi_x, sorry you are struggling right now.  I remember how hard it can be doing university studies and dealing with OCD at the same time.  First, I agree with Ivy, you are not letting anyone down!  You are struggling with a serious mental illness, and while some people in society might not understand what that means, the educated and well informed ones know how big an impact these kinds of things can have on our lives.  Its totally understandable that you are struggling, though of course very very frustrating for you I can tell.  Its great to want to do well in your work, thats something that all people should do, but there are lots of things that can contribute to falling short of where we wanted to be or where we tried to be.  It doesn't mean you are a failure, it means you are human!  

I'm really sorry to hear that your professors are not very supportive, its so frustrating to me when educators lose site of why they are there.  Perhaps there are other avenues of support you can access through your university.  I know many schools these days have offices specifically focused at student support and can intervene when a professor is being less than supportive.  I definitely encourage you too look for opportunities to engage with the right people and try and make life a little bit easier for yourself. 

I'm happy to hear that you have started doing CBT, its definitely the right path forward.  I understand why it might be hard right now, the beginning often is the hardest part, but if you stick with it I think you'll be glad you did in the end.  Recovery from OCD isn't about talent or anything, its about persistence.  If you keep at it, you'll improve.

Do the best that you can with what you are given and what you can find in life.  No one should be able to ask any more of you.  

One last thing to keep in mind, when people create things, be it a novel, or a painting, or a computer program, or even a car, they don't go from no idea to perfect outcome in a straight line.  The artist, the sculptor, the programmer, the engineer, they all start with a very rough idea and they slowly refine it.  If you've never watched and artist or a sculptor at work, I highly recommend it.  For example, an artist might start with a simple drawing, some lines and curves, very rough, very little detail.  Then they will go over it again and again, slowly building towards the final project.  Mistakes are made along the way, changes have to be made, but in the end you have a final project that is better than when you started.  And its still almost certainly NOT perfect.  So do your best on your project.  Start rough and quick and then refine refine refine.  Hang in there, you got this!

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Just while I remember...!

Something I'm looking into for uni is a non-medical helper allowance from the DSA, for a mental health mentor. 🙂 It was mentioned to me at my last Disabled Students meeting (I went for help with a different condition but said they could help with mental health, too) and it's a person who can check in on you throughout the semester. Not a therapist or anything, but someone that can help support with issues you might be having at uni and keep you on the right track. As far as I know, they focus on some of the practical issues that make being a student with a mental health condition so difficult. 

This might be something that'd help long term, alongside your CBT? 🙂

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20 hours ago, vivi_x said:

 

My uni isn’t very good at giving extensions and the lecturers are pretty unhelpful in troubling situations, my house mate grandfather died and our lecturer told her she wouldn’t get mitigating circumstances even though she had to look after her mentally ill father and that if she did get it it would be a real inconvenience to him. 

I have recently started cbt but there’s a long way to go and I’m finding it extremely hard. 

Some of my friends and family know but I don’t want to be a burden and I’m already letting them down by getting bad grades so it’s reallg hard. I feel like there’s no one I can turn to and nothing I can do to escape which is really scary 

I’m sorry, I’m not being very productive and I appreciate the replies I just am not very good at this 

If your mental health issues are classed as a disability, I believe your university has a legal responsibility, under the Equality Act, to provide you with reasonable adjustments. I have been at a few universities and, in my experience, requests for reasonable adjustments don't go through lecturers. Most universities have a health and wellbeing department and the requests usually go through them. If you haven't already, try and find some information on your universities' website about reasonable adjustments/extenuating circumstances and hopefully that will direct you to the appropriate department. 

I should also reiterate ivybasil's comment about perfection. When I was at university I was obsessed with everything being perfect which didn't help my wellbeing at all. I learned to accept (begrudgingly) that perfection is an unrealistic expectation and that making one or two mistakes isn't the end of the world. Don't worry about your work being perfect, just have a good go at it. If you pass, fantastic. If you don't, you won't be alone, and should be able to resit the assessment. 

 

 

 

 

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Hi Vivi,

Just_beat_it is right that your University has a duty under the Equality Act 2010 to make reasonable adjustments, which are widely accepted to include essay extensions. Perhaps contact your tutor saying that your disability (mental health related) is affecting your ability to study and you need an extension as a reasonable adjustment to the deadline. I wouldn't necessarily make reference to OCD, just 'Disability (MH)'. 

I'm sorry you're feeling so awful- please do speak to your family or friends about this.

 

 

 

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