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chubbyooo

my trigger is a person how do I stop myself from alienating him

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So I mentioned in another post that the thing that's really triggering my OCD is my flatmate, he has been having a tough time lately but seems like he's getting better. He's aware of my OCD and I'm worried that when my impulses to check on him get the better of me that he's feeling alienated and he might misunderstand me doing something normal as me checking on him. I know that worry in itself is me obsessing but I just don't wanna make things worse for him, I also feel bad leaving him on his own even though I could do it fine before I was properly worried. Basically is it possible reign in my OCD when I hear stuff which is probably nothing and trust him to be ok on his own or is that just something I have to get used to while I wait for CBT

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Hello there,

Is your trigger you are worried how your flatmate is and if he is ok?   You worry that not checking on him would alienate him?   I don't think I would ever expect a flatmate to be looking after me anyway, so yes I think trust him to look after himself. This always comes across harsh , but important (OCD wise) to remember, he's not your responsibility.

I hope you can find a way to resist the checking compulsions and face your OCD :)   Ashley.

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yeah that's pretty much the trigger, thanks for the advice I'm trying my best to reign in my compulsion to check and tell myself he was never my responsibility

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Hey chubbyooo, 

I think it's nice of you to want to be there for your flatmate, but at the same time part of supporting someone is giving them space to sort things out. I don't think that is alienating him, it's just giving him room to breathe. Sometimes talking about your problems non-stop makes you feel worse and a distraction is good too. So if I were you, I'd just go on as normal and allow your flatmate to reach out to you if he needs it. 

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