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Knives, Forks and Spoons 'Contamination'


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Hi there,

As I have previously said, my particular OCD is non-violent harm; contamination with bodily fluids.

I was putting away cutlery from the cutlery dishwasher basket. I had the intrusive thought that I had contaminated the cutlery with bodily fluids. In my heart of hearts I know this simply wasn't the case. I told my wife my fear. She told me everything was ok and that I should ignore the thought. I wanted to wash the cutlery, but got told not to. My anxiety was quite high and I really needed to act out the compulsion but didn't.

Now, I know people fighting with hand-washing OCD should try not to do the compulsion, ie to leave their hands 'dirty' for a period of time so they realise that bacteria etc on their hands was not going to kill them. But how do I handle a situation where I worry about other people using 'contaminated' cutlery, not just me?

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You handle it exactly the same. ? You said yourself; you know it's an OCD thought. You do not have to act on that thought. It sucks, and it's uncomfortable, but don't let yourself engage with compulsions. You did great in not acting on the compulsion before. 

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O Neg, I think you know the answer. It looks like you might be fishing for 'permission' to alleviate your own OCD generated guilt (a disguised compulsion).

My suggestion, since all these concerns are just OCD rubbish, why not try to cut down on posting every one that comes up?

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No disrespect intended paradoxer, but I do not post 'every one that comes up' as you put it. I have quite a few spikes pretty much everyday. I post the ones that affect me the most; the ones that cause me most concern. Yes, the anxiety calms down eventually but until it does, I write in my journal and post on OCDUK. It gives me some relief. 

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2 hours ago, O Neg said:

No disrespect intended paradoxer, but I do not post 'every one that comes up' as you put it. I have quite a few spikes pretty much everyday. I post the ones that affect me the most; the ones that cause me most concern. Yes, the anxiety calms down eventually but until it does, I write in my journal and post on OCDUK. It gives me some relief. 

No respect taken, but if I was in any way 'extra', I think the point still stands. I don't doubt posting (often, about many spikes) gives you relief, but I'm not sure it isn't occasionally a ritual in itself. Arguably, it also reinforces a message that the spikes are significant. Your call. Just my proverbial.  

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Hi @O Neg, sorry you are struggling.  I know its frustrating and unpleasant to deal with these thoughts, but as others have pointed out, its important not to give in to the compulsions.  One of those compulsions can and often is reassurance seeking.  I think, as frustrating as it may be for you to hear, that Paradoxer is on to something here.  It may not be your intention, but I do think you have started to use the forum as a form or reassurance seeking.  Thats not to say I think you should stop posting or participating in the forum, far from it.  But I think it would help your recovery more if you take some time to consider before you post each time.  

Trust me, we know this is hard, we know it is painful, and we know how real the anxiety feels.  We are all sympathetic to your situation because we have all been there.  But we also want to help you recover and that means helping you realize what behaviors are not helpful in the long term.  Yes posting here makes you feel better, but thats what compulsions do, they give us temporary relief, but at the expense of long term pain.

It may feel like you need to post or share when you have seemingly different intrusive thoughts or it occurs in different situations, but the reality is OCD is OCD and the way to react is basically going to be the same.  As much as you can treat the thought as unimportant, avoid compulsions and compulsive responses, ride out the anxiety as best you can.  Yes its true, especially in the beginning, that you won't always succeed.  But its important to start being more aware of when you are engaged in compulsions, etc.  And yes, sometimes we all need a little bit of a boost, a little bit of support, and posting on the forum and hearing from others can help.  But it can also easily become a compulsion, and those of us who have been around awhile will notice and will start being a bit stricter with people when that happens.  Not because we are angry or we don't want to help them, but because we ARE helping them in that case.  We are doing what they need, even if its not what they want.

As a general rule of thumb:  If you think it MIGHT be OCD, it PROBABLY is. Try treating things that way, and try to ask yourself before you post "do I think they'll tell me anything different this time?"  The answer is probably going to be no, we will probably give you pretty much the same advice.

 

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Another tack might be, and a friendly suggestion here O Neg, post about the spikes you might be inclined to mention, but, sometimes with a considerable delay ... that is when the anxiety is minimal. You might find, miraculously, that the posting of them here is moot, or you might even have to force yourself! Again, as dksea says, your posts are welcome, but you might consider the suggestions food for thought. 

Cheers. 

Edited by paradoxer
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Are you using the forum as your spike diary?  If so use the same topic so we won’t have to reread your old posts to see what advice you already got.  I think this is actually one of the forum rules. 

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