Tips for suffering ocd daily?

[Phil19]

Can anybody give me some general tips? 

I suffer daily had CBT but it never really worked for me. Had ten sessions. 

My main worries today are bin germs, poo emoji stuff in shops and my fear of death I think about it daily and worry my time is running out. Also I worry about putting stuff on Facebook or adding certain people as my ocd says I may have spoke to them before and I become obsessed. Sure I don’t need to add them. I also suffer some anxiety daily I have ocd about long train journeys and fear of flying. I also suffer solipsism. 
 

I have been able to switch jobs and go on the London Underground in recent weeks so I been able to push myself but feel I need further help. I have some questions like I feel I suffer every day and worry I’m in poor mental health? I mean don’t other people feel well each day but with ocd and anxiety some days I feel awful? Anybody else get this? I am looking for general tips which I can do to improve things? 

[PolarBear]

Reread the answers to your previous questions. We've told you it all, many times.

As for CBT, that's what we teach here. Don't blame the method if you didn't do what it takes to recover.

[dksea]

2 hours ago, Phil19 said:

I suffer daily had CBT but it never really worked for me. Had ten sessions. 

"I met with a personal trainer ten times! Why am I fat and out of shape?"
Well, did you do the exercises they recommended?  Well, no.
Do you exercise on a regular basis now?  Well, no.
Do you try to eat better? Well, no.. but I went to the trainer 10 times!  I guess it doesn't work.

[Whattodonow]

Maybe the CBT therapist wasn’t the right one for you. I have tried a couple and they have all been different. It’s finding the right one for you. 
 

I feel exercise and yoga are a big help for me. Calms me, keeps me busy and is good for you!

[Phil19]

One issue I’ve had is and I’ve mentioned before is something becoming “tainted” this includes people. For example six months ago my partner read my phone and seen I spoke to another women I said stuff I never meant but I worried the relationship had become “tainted” or not perfect anymore. Also I worry anybody from work I add on Facebook maybe I’ve spoke to them before too and said stuff i don’t mean? My ocd reaction has been to avoid like for example I don’t add them as a friend. The tainted feeling expands to germs i worry the ground is contaminated as the wheelie bin goes outside my ocd says “if I buy a new sofa and it lands on the ground” I can’t sit on the sofa due to bin germs. I know most of these feelings are irrational sure people can’t be tainted but my ocd says if I say something silly I can’t ever talk to that person again or my worry is I spoke to them before. So yes people here are prob ocd experts so perhaps someone can make sense of it for me. My recovery seems to be hated by the belief something is ruined, spoiled, tainted not the same. Like I do look at my life as a character and I worry my character is tainted if by some reason I had spoke to these people or my relationship she read stuff that wasn’t true I said someone was attractive but it was a lie? How can I change how I think about this? 

[paradoxer]

When everything is 'tainted', nothing is. 

[Phil19]

1 minute ago, paradoxer said:

When everything is 'tainted', nothing is. 

Where does my head get that’s it’s tainted from? Do others think this way?

[paradoxer]

37 minutes ago, Phil19 said:

Where does my head get that’s it’s tainted from? Do others think this way?

What do you think? OCD is always about things, or people being tainted, contaminated ... loss, danger - to self or to others etc. 

As for where it comes from, it doesn't matter. It's just the brain mistaking nonsense for relevance.

[Handy]

4 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Where does my head get that’s it’s tainted from? Do others think this way?

From your limbic system, mainly you amygdala. It’s our alarm system.  For some it’s more sensitive.  

[dksea]

12 hours ago, Phil19 said:

How can I change how I think about this? 

By not writing about it on this forum every time you have the thought?
By not giving in to the compulsions.
By treating it like its unimportant, even when you are afraid it is important.
By sitting with the anxiety rather than fighting it.
By doing CBT.  Not just going to a few sessions but committing to doing it long term.
By doing ERP.
By touching bins.
By using "contaminated" things.
By challenging the ideas that limit you, that you can't do this or you can't touch that and doing them anyway.
 

7 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Where does my head get that’s it’s tainted from? Do others think this way?

OCD.  Do others without OCD think that way? For the most part, no, that should be obvious.  Look at the world around you, are others treating things as "contaminated" all the time the way you do? Do the people in your life behave the way you do?  When you ask them for reassurance do they agree with you?  Do we agree with you?  Not even all people with OCD worry about this. 

It doesn't particularly matter where this idea got stuck in your head to begin with, its there, you want to change it, you do the steps I listed above.  You don't need to know the "where" you probably will never know the "where".  At some point you were having a thought, you have lots of them, you don't notice most of them.  Due to bad timing your brain misfired when you were having that thought, aka OCD kicked in.  So you started to worry about it.  In an alternate universe you were thinking about something different, or your OCD kicked in a second later, and instead of contamination you're worried about accidentally having run over someone with your car, or leaving the oven on and burning your house down, or blurting out obscenities at work, or cheating on your partner, or any of an endless number of possibly worries.  The thought doesn't matter, its all OCD.  If you want to get better you have to do the right steps.  Ruminating on your intrusive thought is not one of them.  Its a step to get worse.

[Handy]

CBT is not effective for everyone. I think BrainLock gave it just 50% success at a year. Maybe try DBT? It’s much better as it involves CBT & other stuff. 

[dksea]

4 hours ago, Handy said:

CBT is not effective for everyone. I think BrainLock gave it just 50% success at a year. Maybe try DBT? It’s much better as it involves CBT & other stuff. 

If you are going to make claims about something being not effective or more effective perhaps you should actually cite evidence and exact figures not “I think” and “it’s much better”.  Do you have any peer reviewed studies that compare CBT to DBT? If so great, tell us which ones do we can review them.  Otherwise it’s not particularly useful. 

[Phil19]

I’ve has some ocd flare ups lately due to my mum touching dog poop and I worry what she touches next handles or whatever and also my brother touched his wheelie bin then went to the shops and never washed his hands. Sure I accept this happens but when I see it happen I suffer more anxiety. I work with customers and have no idea what they touch but don’t worry one bit but if I see this sort of thing happen I go down the rabbit hole of thinking it’s spoiled or I go right into the shower to sterilise myself. Believe it or not a simple hand wash isn’t enough as it doesn’t feel right I actually need to shower.

People are just gonna say to me how it’s fine they touched bins and it doesn’t matter but it bothers me. I honestly don’t see me ever being cool with this? I’m sorry if that’s not what people want to hear but it makes me feel very anxious and uneasy. If I don’t comply with the ocd rules my life is a nightmare 

[Phil19]

Also I am very reluctant to spend more money on CBT I earn a low wage I’m not at the stage or replacing anything expensive right now so honestly don’t think I can justify CBT. I just don’t have the funds to wait for whoever knows how long to get better. I believe it’s about managing ocd limiting it because like I say full recovery i just don’t see me being cool with bins. You can’t tell me it’s clean that’s a fact. They are dirty that’s a fact. Touching a bin via Cbt exposure will only make me want to wash my hands more 

[PolarBear]

Its not as dirty as you think. That's a fact.

If you continue to do what you've been doing, you will continue to suffer. That's a fact.

[Closed for repairs]

I agree, bins are dirty, it’s reasonable to wash your hands after dealing with them.

i can’t say I always do, but it’s not very polite of me.

But you are not worried about bins in general, only the ones you know about.

You are right doing the exposure will make you want to wash your hands, that’s the point, building up a tolerance to the anxiety.

And if you do it in a structured way you are not likely to jump straight into touching bins anyway, you will work up to it.

[dksea]

3 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Also I am very reluctant to spend more money on CBT I earn a low wage I’m not at the stage or replacing anything expensive right now so honestly don’t think I can justify CBT. I just don’t have the funds to wait for whoever knows how long to get better.

I agree, it would make zero sense at this point for you to spend any money on CBT, because you are unwilling to do what it requires.  It would be a waste of time and money for you.

You asked us this question:

On 16/12/2019 at 08:33, Phil19 said:

I have some questions like I feel I suffer every day and worry I’m in poor mental health? I mean don’t other people feel well each day but with ocd and anxiety some days I feel awful? Anybody else get this? I am looking for general tips which I can do to improve things? 

We told you what you can do to improve things.  You refuse to do them.  You insist that you know better, yet you complain about how you are feeling worse.  
 

3 hours ago, Phil19 said:

I believe it’s about managing ocd limiting it because like I say full recovery i just don’t see me being cool with bins.

As my good and wise friend PolarBear often says, "Hows that working out for you?"  How was "managing OCD limiting it" worked out for you?  Look at the last statement I quoted, you complain about other people feeling well sometimes and OCD sometimes, but you feel OCD everyday.  Seems to me like your approach is not working, like not at all.

So on the one hand you have yourself, by your own admission suffering from OCD daily, continuing to be plagued by it.
On the other hand you have people like myself, PolarBear, etc.
What is the difference between you and us?
Simply this, we did the work, we put in the time, we did CBT/ERP.

Did we feel anxiety?  Absolutely.
Was it uncomfortable at times? Absolutely.
Did we improve our lives? Absolutely.

Yes, doing CBT and ERP involves doing things that are uncomfortable and cause anxiety.  Of course you don't want to do that, I didn't.  But you do it anyway because the alternative is continuing to be plagued by OCD like you are now.  You say touching a bin only makes you want to wash your hands more, yet you already wash your hands way more than the rest of us now.  You think that will change if you keep avoiding things?  Has it changed so far?  Has your OCD gotten less intrusive in to your life doing it your way?
 

3 hours ago, Phil19 said:

i just don’t see me being cool with bins. You can’t tell me it’s clean that’s a fact. They are dirty that’s a fact.

And?  We never said it wasn't dirty.  But guess what? People touch "dirty" things all the time and they don't suffer from anxiety because of it like you are doing.  You can keep doing things your way and keep suffering or you can accept that you don't have the answers, listen to those of us who HAVE recovered (not to mention tons of scientific evidence backing that up) and do it that way.
 

3 hours ago, Phil19 said:

If I don’t comply with the ocd rules my life is a nightmare 

As opposed to the dream it is for you now?

Do the CBT or don't, thats your choice.  But if you are going to ignore everything we tell you, then why bother asking us to begin with?  If you have the answers then why come to us?

[Phil19]

Thanks for the advice and explanation about the bin germs.

I mentioned in my my first post about Facebook about worrying what I post. I have avoided posting some stuff lately and the more I avoid the more stuff in the future I avoid. For example I googled a landmark and seen someone with a certain hair style so I worry it’s tainted and can’t use it as my cover photo again? And this worry about adding people I fear I’ve spoke to before. It seems my ocd is focused on Facebook but it goes back to the tainted thing again and the worry I have to have a certain character for Facebook or front so to speak? I am finding the ocd very controlling and limiting.

You mentioned is it working for me no course not but I also find it hard to do the Cbt methods so I would say nothing works for me?

[Closed for repairs]

If it wasn't for the fact that we shouldn't let OCD dictate what we do, id say knock Facebook on the head, if it brings only aggro, you don't need it.

I'm a careful user of social media, partly as I don't want do etching I say to come back and bite me, but also I recognise all the action/reward mechanisms  can be a bit problematical for people who lean towards compulsions, all that posting and getting likes, or retweets, checking how many followers you have. I'm not sure it's healthy.

But maybe I'm a luddite.

[Closed for repairs]

Just now, Closed for repairs said:

I'm a careful user of social media, partly as I don't want do etching I say to come back and bite me,

And partly due to autocorrect, butchering anything I type.

That should say "I don't want anything"

Not "do etching"

I mean I don't want to do etching, but I was keeping that quiet.

[PolarBear]

Phil, you can't say that CBT doesn't work for you when you won't do the work. That's being unfair to CBT.

It's work. It's sometimes miserable. It's hard. Everyone who has ever done CBT has not liked doing exposures. Every one.

You come here very often, asking for help. We offer you CBT. That's it. That's what we offer. You seem to want something else. There is nothing else. You can complain all you want, but unless you change your thinking and behavior, by doing the necessary work for months, you will remain stuck. It's that simple.

[Phil19]

54 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Phil, you can't say that CBT doesn't work for you when you won't do the work. That's being unfair to CBT.

It's work. It's sometimes miserable. It's hard. Everyone who has ever done CBT has not liked doing exposures. Every one.

You come here very often, asking for help. We offer you CBT. That's it. That's what we offer. You seem to want something else. There is nothing else. You can complain all you want, but unless you change your thinking and behavior, by doing the necessary work for months, you will remain stuck. It's that simple.

From what I’ve read there is other treatments but Cbt is the main one. I find cbt easier for anxiety but my ocd I have struggled with. I’m not blaming Cbt but I have tried and struggled. I believe the anxiety is linked to the ocd I always feel I need the anxiety and ocd to “keep me safe” im being honest but stepping outside my comfort zone not too often gives me a sense of relief. My only positive is sometimes I can beat the ocd but not always. 

[dksea]

10 hours ago, Phil19 said:

but I also find it hard to do the Cbt methods so I would say nothing works for me?

Yeah, CBT methods are hard, we don't want to do ERP, etc.  You do it anyway because it works.  Saying it doesn't work when you refuse to do what it requires is different than it not actually working.
 

29 minutes ago, Phil19 said:

I’m not blaming Cbt but I have tried and struggled.

Have you set up an anxiety hierarchy?  Have you spent weeks/months doing ERP in a planned manner on a regular basis?  Have you followed the steps everyday?  Have you worked out a long term plan with short term goals?  If you haven't done those things than you haven't tried CBT.  You've gone to some sessions, maybe done an exercise a few times, but you haven't actually DONE CBT.
 

31 minutes ago, Phil19 said:

From what I’ve read there is other treatments but Cbt is the main one.

There are a handful of more radical treatments for people who continue to struggle, but before a doctor would even consider one of those you'd have to have exhausted CBT as an option.  By your own admissions (and refusals) you have barely done that.

 

33 minutes ago, Phil19 said:

I believe the anxiety is linked to the ocd

Yes, OCD causes anxiety, this is well known.
 

33 minutes ago, Phil19 said:

I always feel I need the anxiety and ocd to “keep me safe” im being honest but stepping outside my comfort zone not too often gives me a sense of relief

You fear change and the unknown, like pretty much most every sufferer.  Nothing you are describing here is out of the ordinary for an OCD sufferer.  I'm sorry but your OCD is not special, its standard, run of the mill OCD.  We all understand what its like to be where you are, we've all been there.  And some of us have done the work, through CBT, to get better.  If you want to stay in your "comfort zone" you can, but its not going to get better.  The best you can hope for is it doesn't get worse too quickly if you take that approach.  Or you can do the work, do the CBT, touch the dirty bin, and move on with your life.

[Phil19]

You are correct and no I only did this when in therapy and Even when I did I never spent much time on it as felt writing stuff down never worked. Can CBT cure my fear of flying or my worry to what to put on Facebook? Is it all ocd? I have found anytime I tackle a fear I go back to worrying about it days later. I have so many worries perhaps i need to write them down. I would rather have little anxiety but sadly that’s not the case. Often one worry is replaced by a new one?

[dksea]

4 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Can CBT cure my fear of flying

It did for me.  It has done so for millions of people.  I can't peer in to the future and prove to you that it will give you everything in life you want, but I do know based on personal experience and decades of scientific study that its your best option by far.
 

4 hours ago, Phil19 said:

I have found anytime I tackle a fear I go back to worrying about it days later.

Recovery from OCD is not a quick process.  You don't tackle a fear one day and get over it the next.  You do the work of CBT over and over and over again.  You fight back against the intrusive thoughts again and again and again until they barely bother you if they do at all.  You fight it one day, it comes back a few days later, you fight it again. Its not a constant upward trend, there are peaks and valleys in recovery.  CBT works, not necessarily on the schedule you'd prefer, but it does work IF you commit to it.