Tips for suffering ocd daily?

[PolarBear]

Your worries are irrational, Phil.

[dksea]

On 20/08/2020 at 05:33, Phil19 said:

but maybe I am over worrying

No maybe about it.  You absolutely are.  Its what OCD does.  You can make choices and take steps to get control of that or you can continue down this same path.  What are you going to do?

[Phil19]

I have been worried about something different my fear is mandatory covid vaccines. Either meaning I can’t travel or they turn up at your door with a warrant and force one on you? Any thoughts on this am I over worrying? Will they force it?

[PolarBear]

Your mind sure jumps around with obsessions, Phil. 

What do you think, given your history? Do you think you're overreacting?

[Phil19]

Past month or so I have had awful anxiety and ocd thoughts about dying. For 31 years that’s always been the risk but lately I worry I will die a horrible death or I worry I am dying for I feel weak? I realise this may be a bit of ocd as it’s very repetitive and daily has anybody else had this?

[Phil19]

Anybody help? I have been ocd worrying about after life and death again?

[dksea]

On 27/09/2020 at 08:15, Phil19 said:

Anybody help? I have been ocd worrying about after life and death again?

We can't offer you anything more than what we have in the previous seven pages of comments, the answer is still the same, regardless of the theme of your fear.
I am sorry you are suffering, I truly am, none of us deserves this, but there is nothing new or different I can say that hasn't already been said.

[Phil19]

I feel there is little help for me so far not had a anything to relax me but my therapist I seen last year has ignored my emails this hasn’t helped. I may need to look for another one?

[dksea]

A therapist can be a very helpful tool, but only if you are willing to do the work they recommend.  
What work are you doing to improve your situation?
What plan do you have to reduce compulsions and challenge your OCD?
What is your roadmap for recovery?
Are you going to do the necessary things like touching bins, not replacing, etc?

[Phil19]

6 hours ago, dksea said:

A therapist can be a very helpful tool, but only if you are willing to do the work they recommend.  
What work are you doing to improve your situation?
What plan do you have to reduce compulsions and challenge your OCD?
What is your roadmap for recovery?
Are you going to do the necessary things like touching bins, not replacing, etc?

The bins and replacing stuff seems to have stopped. I have not replaced for quite some time. The other stuff like the intrusive thoughts about dying is causing anxiety but CBT can treat anxiety and ocd they are sort of similar. I am unsure how to improve my situation and I have no idea what recovery looks like I have never not felt anxious or ocd like since I was about 16 so I have forgotten what it feels like to be relaxed? 

[dksea]

Its good that you aren't having the replacing and bins compulsions. 
If you are unsure about a recovery plan or how to make one then talking to a  therapist is probably a good idea, but you need to be willing to do the work they set out for you if you want to see sustained improvement.
CBT can be used for any kind of intrusive thought, the techniques we have described previously in this thread will work for fear of dying, fear of contamination, etc.
The basic goals are to reduce compulsions and learn to treat these intrusive thoughts as unimportant.  Recovery isn't about never having these thoughts or feeling absolutely certain, its about being ok with not being sure and living your life anyway.

[Phil19]

On 01/10/2020 at 03:11, dksea said:

Its good that you aren't having the replacing and bins compulsions. 
If you are unsure about a recovery plan or how to make one then talking to a  therapist is probably a good idea, but you need to be willing to do the work they set out for you if you want to see sustained improvement.
CBT can be used for any kind of intrusive thought, the techniques we have described previously in this thread will work for fear of dying, fear of contamination, etc.
The basic goals are to reduce compulsions and learn to treat these intrusive thoughts as unimportant.  Recovery isn't about never having these thoughts or feeling absolutely certain, its about being ok with not being sure and living your life anyway.

The issue is I can’t shift these thoughts in the same way I couldn’t shift the contamination ones? Sure they will go away when my head gets bored and moves to the next thing but I am struggling to deal with the idea of dying of covid or a heart attack? One day feeling well then not. I am wondering which ideas could apply to these thoughts? When I feel hunger anxiety comes and thoughts of dying come I am not even sure if it’s anxiety causing it or ocd?

[Phil19]

I started feeling a little less anxious but my ocd came back my partner had some dvds from the shop and someone with dog poop bags walked past then she walked over dog poop on path so my worry was the dvds could be dirty I am worried about my irons for clothes as they sit next to the dvds and my clothes could be dirty. I am trying to challenge these thoughts but it seems whenever my anxiety drops the ocd thoughts take back over. I was keen to do more CBT but fear nothing much will change and worry about the cost. 

[PolarBear]

Well nothing will change until you make a concerted effort to change your thinking and behavior. That's how you progress with recovery. You change. 

 

Edited October 5, 2020 by PolarBear

[Phil19]

I went to CBT today but feel a bit down beat as the therapist said they email some work sheets over but never did this also they never got back for another appointment and my last therapist ignored me Perhaps they don’t want to work with me on my problems? 

[dksea]

I'm sorry you are feeling a bit down, it can be frustrating when you are expecting some follow up and it doesn't happen when it should.  That said, before assuming that they don't want to work with you, keep in mind that times are stressful and difficult for everyone.  Its possible that it will simply take a little more time to get the e-mails and follow up, I imagine a lot of therapists are quite busy now with the various restrictions and more people needing help than before.  Its also possible that they made a mistake and forgot, I'd say give it a day or two then contact them to follow up if you still haven't heard back.  Good job on pursuing CBT again, I know its not easy but it is the right choice.

[Phil19]

In January a wheelie bin was placed in my front garden. I took a picture of where it was and was happy my steps to door was clean but not the garden. However problem is I had a photo of where bin was but I lost it when getting a new mobile phone. This is the problem with my ocd I need photos for proof.

[PolarBear]

No, you don't. You really don't. Taking the photo was a compulsion. You life can continue undamaged without you ever knowing where the bin was.

[dksea]

10 hours ago, Phil19 said:

However problem is I had a photo of where bin was but I lost it when getting a new mobile phone. This is the problem with my ocd I need photos for proof.

You FEEL like you need the photo, but as PB says you don't.  You need to work on understanding the difference between how you feel about something (because of OCD) and what you actually need.

[Phil19]

My mum brought a carrier back into my house today I believed she touched her bins whilst holding the bag. My worry is the ground is contaminated I have these worries often. I have worried about the garden for a year since the wheelie bin was placed in my garden. The good news is the bag she touched was wrapped in two other bags as it was raining today so maybe the bag was clean but because she never washed her hands. It was a present for someone so I know it will go to someone else’s house and go on someone else’s ground but I worry about my own house?
 

Again cleaning it is hard as I worry it won’t be clean?

[PolarBear]

Phil, phil, phil. You're back to coming here and relating your latest obsession. 

Given the advice you have received here dozens upon dozens of times, what do you think you should do about this?

[Phil19]

40 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Phil, phil, phil. You're back to coming here and relating your latest obsession. 

Given the advice you have received here dozens upon dozens of times, what do you think you should do about this?

I know your advice is to maybe do nothing not clean it ect but problem is once the worry goes into my head often in it doesn’t go away. No matter what is said my head believes it’s ruined and forever contaminated. Until I can rid myself of that pattern of thinking I can’t be cured?

[PolarBear]

You need to identify the compulsions you do and work hard to not do them. And you do nothing about this instance. And the next instance. And the next.

[Phil19]

Sadly the thought has become stuck on my head like the front garden. I believe it will never stop worrying until I move house or something this is how my ocd operates. I wish I could change how I seen this or maybe if I cleaned it and felt satisfied. I have read people with ocd who will bleach something and think that’s germs gone my issue is thinking something is forever dirty. This is the problem as it’s much worse than just somebody who will clean which may be ocd too my point is my ocd must be worse when I can’t clean it and feel relief? I have yet to find a cure for thinking something is forever contaminated.

Edited November 4, 2020 by Phil19

[PolarBear]

We've told you what to do, repeatedly.