Tips for suffering ocd daily?

[dksea]

Engaging in compulsions is keeping you in this cycle.
The advice is the same for this worry as it has been for all the previous ones.
Reduce/eliminate compulsions. (such as posting in detail each and every thing you worry about)
Do CBT.
Work with a qualified mental health professional if possible.
Do ERP.
 

[Phil19]

Well I managed to clean my windows the pole maybe hit the ground once but I tried to tell myself my shoes touch the ground and come inside. However my compulsion was to move my rucksack and iPad upstairs bad news is I never shut the bedroom door so my urge was to replace the ipad and camera again. Now I done that not long ago but that’s the problem I only managed to suffer mild anxiety about the ground but it triggered more ocd so when people say exposure therapy how does it work when it simply makes me worry more about other stuff?

[PolarBear]

Phil, you have to do it over and over again until it doesn't bother you and you can't do compulsions.

[dksea]

5 hours ago, Phil19 said:

so when people say exposure therapy how does it work when it simply makes me worry more about other stuff?

You don't go from couch potato to olympic athlete in a few days (or weeks).  When you first start working out it hurts MORE than before you started working out.  It takes time and effort to get better.
Improvement from OCD is very similar, your anxiety will almost certainly spike at the beginning because you are TRYING to provoke anxiety situations and you are also reducing the compulsions which blunted some of the anxiety temporarily.  Its expected that you see spikes.  Thats one reason why a gradual, planned approach works best for most people, its why working with a qualified mental health professional is helpful.  But regardless of whether you do it alone or with help, anxiety is expected, anxiety in other areas is not out of the ordinary.  There is NO solution that involves the anxiety simply disappearing magically.  None.  If you want to improve things you have to put in the work and endure the hard parts.

[Phil19]

I often have the urge to dispose of my underwear after going to the toilet. I do wipe my backside before I go but I often worry so I worry i need to dispose of underwear? I have heard of people needing new under wear every day and throwing away?

[PolarBear]

You must hang out with some weird people. I've never heard of somrone throwing out their underwear daily. 

This is OCD, Phil. And wiping before you go is completely unnecessary and likely a compulsion.

[Phil19]

I have avoided lots due to my ocd. From worrying about adding people on Facebook to flying. My way to get by has been to avoid to avoid the anxiety. Is this what I have to do or should I be pushing myself to do stuff? Or do I have to be realistic and know I have ocd so some things are more difficult than others?

[dksea]

14 hours ago, Phil19 said:

My way to get by has been to avoid to avoid the anxiety.

Has that made your life better?  Has it helped you be able to do more of the things you want and be happier?
Or has it made things more difficult? Do you have to avoid more and more things over time?

[Phil19]

On 16/03/2020 at 03:16, dksea said:

Has that made your life better?  Has it helped you be able to do more of the things you want and be happier?
Or has it made things more difficult? Do you have to avoid more and more things over time?

I wouldn’t say I avoid too much maybe 10% mostly it’s social media stuff right now I have anxiety over. Problem is it’s often easier to avoid to keep the anxiety down. Not saying that’s the answer but with my ocd I sometimes step out my comfort to say fly but not often. It’s a safety blanket. My biggest ocd lately has been avoiding adding people on Facebook? People say avoid social media but that’s just hiding the problem. I could add and suffer anxiety? Or I can not. What i tend to do so only add people I feel safe to add or don’t suffer anxiety over. The fact I can add some people gives me light relief and perhaps I have to live in this bubble. I had social media anxiety about putting up I went to Amsterdam due to the stereotype with the city In the end I did post. With my partners birthday I worried about people seeing her age so I worry I spoke to some of the entertainment I have coming so I am too worried to post. I may change my mind but I base my behaviours on what anxiety I feel. I know that’s not the answer but nobody has gave me much advice other than say delete facebook. How cutting me off and making me more lonely helps I have no idea Surely it’s better to add some people rather than get upset about not adding one or two. Often people don’t add me I am sure there is psychology behind why people don’t add people anyway?

[dksea]

6 hours ago, Phil19 said:

wouldn’t say I avoid too much maybe 10% mostly it’s social media stuff right now I have anxiety over.

What about avoiding touching things? Avoiding going places? Avoiding doing things in public?  

While it can be reasonable to avoid things that make you unhappy, the challenge for OCD sufferers is separating reasonable, normal human avoidance behaviors with compulsive, unhealthy avoidance behaviors.  For example, social media makes a lot of people less happy and they stop using it or avoid it.  Thats fine, its certainly not mandatory you participate in social media, you can live a normal life without it.  But if you are avoiding it for the wrong reasons it can hinder your OCD recovery.  It all depends on how much a behavior negatively impacts your ability to live your life.  I'd say worrying about posting which city you are visiting because people will judge you, or worrying about people finding out your partners age (especially if she doesn't care) are probably not healthy, avoiding social media because of that isn't great.  On the other hand avoiding social media because you find too many people posting negative content, or because you just get angry at people in comments, would be a healthy reason to avoid it.  Theres no one clear cut answer, it all depends.

[Phil19]

I admit these issues have been troubling me a lot the bins the thoughts creep back. I am still worrying over flying again or driving. The social media one has been eating away at me daily right now I worry I have to delete certain pictures of me I had an old email address on Facebook so I worried about that. I mentioned before how I wouldn’t post about my partners birthday night out and then it became I would ocd about who I would add now my anxiety has moved onto existing friends. I try and ignore most of this mind jargon. When my ocd says avoid or don’t do something I just avoid it to stop the anxiety. For example people here said quit social media I’m not sure that’s the right advice to be honest as I would be isolated I seem unable to beat my social media fears. For example my boss mentioned how I slagged Poundland online but he doesn’t even have social media so it makes me worry who sees this stuff? 

I am on a path to not using social media not by a lifestyle choice but my anxiety meaning I ocd about every person or aspect. It’s very deliberating having to live this way for example I had a dream about one of the singers at my partners birthday so my ocd says that’s another reason not to post about it. Sure I know it’s not wise to post everything on social media but I feel a degree of it you can post sensibly. 

Basically I over think. Stuff which caused me no anxiety months ago is worrying me now. I feel I have to just not add people that worry me or I choose not to fly but the carrot grows and I see others flying or I have people I won’t add it becomes very limiting. I have no idea why social media bothers me more than ever and unsure what the trigger was. Can anybody help?

I worry about stuff being tainted 

Edited April 3, 2020 by Phil19

[snowbear]

14 hours ago, Phil19 said:

I have no idea why social media bothers me more than ever and unsure what the trigger was. Can anybody help?

I worry about stuff being tainted 

Hi Phil, 

Worry that things you've posted online could be tainted often comes from a desire to be seen as socially correct by others. Feeling a need to always be viewed in a good light would explain why social media in particular keeps drawing you in, making you anxious. 

On the one hand it could be seen as an avoidance compulsion for you to stay away from social media completely. On the other hand my personal opinion is social media is a waste of time and should be ignored with a clear conscience as much as possible! 

Only you can decide if you're going back and checking/reading things as a compulsion or if there are times when it's healthy socialising. My advice is if it causes you anxiety switch off all social media for a few days. Resist the urge to log on, check anything you've written , or check for replies. Let it sit for a while, ride out the anxiety of not knowing what kind of reaction you've got and find other ways to interact socially which don't involve doing complusions to reduce your anxiety.

[Phil19]

The problem is everything about social media is troubling me from adding people to posting. Often I do a post then remove it this is how my ocd is operating. Again I go back to why did I once have no anxiety or ocd over it to now suffering? Same goes for bin germs. This wasn’t always an issue it’s been one thats developed. If I quit social media the anxiety would win. My brother is single and I worried if I add his new partner when he gets one I worry I spoke to them before and they are tainted and if I add them I worry it taints my character or it’s some how making me feel bad. It’s a complicated issue and I have no idea where this came from? I can add the social media anxiety first came in 2018 when I worried about posting about Amsterdam. At the time I said to myself this is stupid now to share a nice holiday I had to push through the anxiety about it worrying about stereotypes and In the end I did post. However I have in past two months avoided adding people, never posted a gig I went to and it’s starting to become a real issue for me. Again this goes back to how the anxiety limits my life. So what do I do? Post little, add few people and I’m ok then it’s something else? 

[Phil19]

The only way I can see through this is to do what I feel. The anxiety does stop me doing lots like flying driving or social media but perhaps I just have to manage it and deal with what I can do? There is stuff I can do I never thought I would do so perhaps it may change in the future? Perhaps i need to accept things as they are and what I am comfortable with? I can push through it and do stuff sometimes but in other times it’s maybe best I just let the anxiety win or look at it it’s my way of coping with what I am at ease with?

When I was single in the past I worried I had spoke to the person before but now my brother is single this has brought the worry back and my ocd says if I add his new partner when he gets one im tainted or if I was ever single again and got someone new I would be worried id spoke to them before as on dating sites it’s easy to talk to 100’s. Sure I may never be single again but this all links in with my social media anxiety. On a positive I did manage to add someone new from work today without worrying

I am terrible for worrying about hypothetical situations

[snowbear]

36 minutes ago, Phil19 said:

I can push through it and do stuff sometimes but in other times it’s maybe best I just let the anxiety win or look at it it’s my way of coping with what I am at ease with?

Whenever you can push through the anxiety and achieve things in spite of it that's always the right way to go.  

Sometimes the anxiety will win and you won't be able to push through regardless, but at those times try as much as possible not to go back to old coping mechanisms like checking/ ruminating/ deleting posts. The simple truth is the more you practise 'old' behaviours the longer they'll persist. Changing to new behaviours is never easy at first, but the more you do it the easier it gets. 

If there's an area of your life (in this case social media) which is causing you significant difficulty in challanging your behaviour, then it's ok to stop it completely for a while and practise your CBT skills on 'easier'  topics. This isn't avoidance so much as creating a hierarchy of things you feel able to challenge. You can then reintroduce social media again in the future when you're more confident about your ability not to engage with OCD thoughts and behaviours around it.  

[Phil19]

My ocd has been much worse again lately. I have had increased false thoughts but I’ve had this before and it goes away. Usually there is a trigger but would coronavirus be that trigger?

[Phil19]

Update

I did manage to do the weeds in front gardens bad news is I am disposing if a belt into quarantine and also I had to shower due to bin geek worries. Sure I touched my strimmer which touched the ground where the bottom of the garden is I came in and touched my phone after that however the front garden is a different story. I also never seen my partner wash her hands after the garden so worry about the door handles again. Perhaps I can use the belt again but it will be difficult to do so. I worry about the door handle aswell but I have been having these situations occur daily right now. I worry when something happens and I won’t use it..

[dksea]

7 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Sure I touched my strimmer which touched the ground where the bottom of the garden is I came in and touched my phone after that however the front garden is a different story.

And? So what if you did? You touch things all the time, that's life.  Sometimes (almost always) those things are dirty.  Thats life.  You can keep living in fear of "contamination" or you can do something about it.

 

7 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Perhaps I can use the belt again but it will be difficult to do so. I worry about the door handle aswell but I have been having these situations occur daily right now. I worry when something happens and I won’t use it..

Use the belt again, touch the door handle.  If you keep avoiding these things due to worry, then nothing will improve, you will become more and more restricted.  The way out is to stop letting the emotions control your decisions.  Or you can keep adding things to your avoidance list and become more and more trapped.  Its up to you.

[Phil19]

9 hours ago, dksea said:

And? So what if you did? You touch things all the time, that's life.  Sometimes (almost always) those things are dirty.  Thats life.  You can keep living in fear of "contamination" or you can do something about it.

 

Use the belt again, touch the door handle.  If you keep avoiding these things due to worry, then nothing will improve, you will become more and more restricted.  The way out is to stop letting the emotions control your decisions.  Or you can keep adding things to your avoidance list and become more and more trapped.  Its up to you.

Thanks well I have so far resisted any urge to replace the door handle despite a fight going on in my head to do so.

Social media is more the issue at the moment. It’s this tainted character issue I have. For example I seen a photograph with a certain hair style at a tourist sight I posted about this in 2019 on my holiday but my anxiety says if I revisit and post a picture here I am tainted and I will feel bad about myself or some how worry that hair style represents that photo and everybody can see it? I know that is very silly but this is how bad my ocd is. 

I understand I could totally avoid social media but I worry the more I avoid posting the worse it will become and maybe one day I will be so crippled by it I can’t post? With my partners birthday I actually have two ocd worries going on the worry I have spoke to the singer before or a dream I spoke to them on a dating site vs the worry people will see her age on Facebook so my ocd says don’t post it atall. The worry I have spoke to the singer is a feeling of I will be tainted if I post it. Sure even if I some how did speak to them before nobody would know but the reality is I feel tainted disgusted or spoiled within myself. In another topic someone mentioned perfectionism.

I have a genuine concern the garden is tainted by the wheelie bin and if I touch it I need to shower and also I worry if I have a thought about social media a few examples I said above it means to post I would be tainted. One of the singers coming to my partners birthday I shared his video via twitter but refused to via Facebook as twitter caused me less anxiety I have no idea. Can’t understand the psychology behind what I am thinking?

So my question is a direct one when I believe something is tainted me or a garden what’s the correct thing to do?

1. Touch the garden and continue to post on social media about the event or the photo of the city 

2. Post but hide it away at the bottom of the album

3. Don’t post anything and let the ocd win. Or just say social media isn’t for me use it less and move on with life. 

4. Delay showering after the garden or delay posting or removing the post to see how long I have anxiety for. 
 

So there is a few options I just wondering what’s the right one perhaps there is more than one correct answer can anybody offer some help?

[Phil19]

I have been feeling anxious about the social media thing as a the ocd thoughts repeat round and round so I end up feeling stressed how can I stop this?

[Phil19]

Anyone help with my worries? How can I see more clearly?

[dksea]

On 14/04/2020 at 21:57, Phil19 said:

I have a genuine concern the garden is tainted by the wheelie bin and if I touch it I need to shower and also I worry if I have a thought about social media a few examples I said above it means to post I would be tainted.

None of these things are "tainted", its completely, 100% in your head.
If you want to get past this you have to start ignoring that "tainted" feeling, even though it causes anxiety and stop doing the compulsions that are reinforcing it.  That includes avoidance, reassurance seeking, rumination, etc.  It really doesn't matter so much what the topic or situation is, the root problem is the same, and the steps to overcome it are the same.  

[Phil19]

On 16/04/2020 at 03:29, dksea said:

None of these things are "tainted", its completely, 100% in your head.
If you want to get past this you have to start ignoring that "tainted" feeling, even though it causes anxiety and stop doing the compulsions that are reinforcing it.  That includes avoidance, reassurance seeking, rumination, etc.  It really doesn't matter so much what the topic or situation is, the root problem is the same, and the steps to overcome it are the same.  

Yes you are correct it is all in my head. The problem is this behaviour bas become more extreme and I have a thought and have to delete Facebook friends now. By me not adding and posting believing stuff is tainted it’s meant I think more and more is tainted. Is this response expected? Is it a case of the more I avoid then even more stuff gets avoided? 

[Phil19]

I have become paranoid that by taking a screen shot on social media messenger my entire bookmarks or history is shared sure that’s irrational but this is how my ocd operates and I worry about people being tainted again. Sure I can see the screenshot I sent and it’s just a website but my ocd is so bad I worry still. You would think when you see something in a picture you can see what is it but my ocd makes me worry it’s my entire bookmarks 

Edited April 17, 2020 by Phil19

[PolarBear]

On 17/04/2020 at 13:33, Phil19 said:

Yes you are correct it is all in my head. The problem is this behaviour bas become more extreme and I have a thought and have to delete Facebook friends now. By me not adding and posting believing stuff is tainted it’s meant I think more and more is tainted. Is this response expected? Is it a case of the more I avoid then even more stuff gets avoided? 

You say you 'have to' delete friends. No, you don't. You choose to and when you do its a compulsion, which only makes your situation worse.