Tips for suffering ocd daily?

[Lost in Thought]

Some general things that help me have been

1: Not drinking diet fizzy drinks 

2: Cutting down my social media use 

3: To not religiously keep up with the news every day 

 

[Phil19]

My ocd improved got a bit then it suddenly got worse again. Problem is stuff or people being contaminated. Stuff becomes “forever contaminated” like how it’s a radiator and phone charger. It was the garden for months. I’ve had cbt for this and it never worked. I worry about adding certain people on Facebook and don’t add them. I feel my life becomes limited. It feels limited often when I can’t touch stuff. Feels like no way to escape these worries. People give advice but it doesn’t seem to change my outlook so what can I do? 

[UpsAndDowns]

Hello,

I also have fears about things being tainted.  People, items, experiences.  I also sometimes have recurring fears about contamination.  It's all part of OCD.

There is no thinking your way out of this.  You have to ignore the thoughts and keep moving forward with your life.  I'll give you an example from my experience today:

My job involves working with databases.  I constantly worry that I'm messing up the databases or processing the data wrong.  And now that I'm working from home due to COVID-19, there is a lot of noise and distractions that interrupt my concentration.  This makes my fears worse.  During the afternoon I had to write instructions for a coworker regarding how to process some data and complete a request for one of our projects.  I wrote the instructions but then returned to a section of them to make sure I provided the right information.  Even though I re-read what I wrote, I just couldn't find certainty.  It's OCD.  I could keep reading it over and over and still not be convinced it's correct.  So realizing that this was the case after a couple tries, I simply gave up and moved on to the next thing I had to do.  It's possible I gave my coworker the incorrect instructions.  I can't be sure because of OCD.  But I told myself that I did the best I could do in that moment and sent off the email, hoping it's ok.

Right now I'm working through some CBT because recently I had a relapse with OCD.  It's worked for me in the past and I suspect it will work again, but it's difficult and I haven't wanted to do it (1) because it's scary and (2) because I'm exhausted and it's another thing to do each day.  But little by little, I'm going to at least do some of it.  I don't know if I'll conquer all of my fears, but at least if I can conquer some of them I'll regain some of my life.

How is your anxiety level each day?  I find that when I am very anxious, I have a lot more trouble with intrusive thoughts.  Medication can help with this, as can exercise.  But neither of those things can solve our worries entirely.  We still have to confront our fears, and it's a life-long process.  (But it gets easier over time)

dksea said something useful above:  "Its not about not worrying, its about doing it anyway.  You don't recover from OCD by waiting until the worry goes away to do things, you make the worry go away by doing things anyway."

When we do something anyway, even when we're worried about it, we're taking an action that contradicts the intrusive thoughts.  We're acting as if the worry doesn't matter.  Over time, those actions turn out to be more powerful than our thoughts.  Acting despite worry teaches us that perhaps the worries are exaggerated and don't deserve our attention.

One thing that helped me was to read Fred Penzel's book on OCD: "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders: A Complete Guide to Getting Well and Staying Well"

If you can't afford a therapist, then you can try to do some ERP on your own.  Make a hierarchy of your fears and try to work through it, a little bit at a time.  I recommend starting with small things.  For me, with my work, I have to work on things like this:

(1) Send an email without re-reading what I wrote.

(2) Import data for a project without double-checking it when I finish.

(3) Perform some data processing work even when there's distractions (like noise) going on in the background.

Etc.

[Phil19]

Tonight I went to the toilet and worried I needed a shower after it so I had one. 2nd of the day. Then I went to the toilet later and worried when I threw the toilet paper in I touched the bowl or water so I sat for 2 hours and tried to resist it. However I couldn’t do it so went in for another shower. I had tension at side of my head and felt I was going crazy. My ocd has suddenly got worse again. I said before when my anxiety is low my ocd increases but when I suffer bad anxiety my ocd worries become less of a worry. I feel I let myself down having 3 showers I tried to say I can wait until tomorrow but nothing would reassure me. Has anybody got any tips for when ocd gets taken over by anxiety? How do I ride these thoughts out if they become over whelming? To be fair tonight is the first in a while the ocd has got that bad but has anybody else experienced this before? 

[dksea]

@Phil19  I am sorry you continue to suffer, but there aren't any more "tips" that can change things.  The answer is the same as its been before.  If you want to get over this you need CBT (and possibly medication).  

[Phil19]

On 09/07/2020 at 02:44, dksea said:

@Phil19  I am sorry you continue to suffer, but there aren't any more "tips" that can change things.  The answer is the same as its been before.  If you want to get over this you need CBT (and possibly medication).  

Thanks I don’t know why my ocd has got worse? Sometimes it gets better then other times I get awful anxiety because of the ocd thoughts. I did consider going back to CBT but it’s all over zoom at the moment? I’ve been hoping to use what I learned before but it’s difficult. Often I worry I have forgotten my tablets then that triggers anxiety the other night it was showering. My question is why have I been over whelmed by my doubts lately? Is there much I can do to relax myself other than maybe distraction? 

[Phil19]

I emailed my therapist today the sessions are all over video but I said I would be keen to do face go face when they restart. Reason is the cbt via the NHS was group based and I never fancied that anyway. It’s a bit annoying if it costs money to do CBT however my ocd has been bad maybe I need to do some more sessions? It would help if I seen the Cbt as a good investment?

Edited July 11, 2020 by Phil19

[UpsAndDowns]

Hi Phil,

Your OCD could be worse because we're in the middle of a global pandemic.  This has been a very difficult time for many people!  I know I've had more anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

I think CBT is definitely a good investment if it gets you your life back.  I'm currently seeing a therapist by video once every two weeks.  We've been talking about my fears and he's given me a couple different things:  First, he has offered some strategies for coping with my anxiety.  Second, he's been encouraging me to do some exposures on my specific fears.

One thing that helps with my anxiety is exercise in the morning, particularly if it's intense, like running.  It doesn't stop the intrusive thoughts, but it lowers my anxiety level for the day so that I'm better able to dismiss the intrusive thoughts.

[Phil19]

Sadly the CBT therapist never got back me so it’s unlikely I can go unless it’s a new therapist..

[Cub]

Things that have been helping me lately:

*Going for walks and getting fresh air;

*Going to a safe place - in my case, the local Waterstones

*Allowing myself a little liedown just to get my head together;

*Reminding myself - in particular over the last week - that no feeling is final and the bad bits will pass;

*ASMR sessions

*Trying (TRYING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) to let the thoughts in and let them go;

*Accepting that everyone has a different point of view and what's true for someone else may not be true for me;

*For the religious OCD'er - reminding myself that I'm not running a race or to a deadline and if I make a mistake, God will still love me and forgive me a thousand times over. 

 

 

 

[Phil19]

I unfollowed a celeb as I said to someone they were nice even though they are not that nice anymore so they became tainted. I am still struggling with this. Sure people can say to me avoid social media but the ocd moves into something else. I have focused a lot on my character or people or me being tainted. Sadly the therapist I seen before never got back to me. I now need to find a new therapist and none are doing face to face yet. So yeah kind of relying on forums right now. 

I understand the tainted thing is a false it’s something my head made up but it feels real. To keep these celebs or friends I worry I will be tainted. Perhaps if I never said they were nice maybe that’s half the battle. But often my ocd makes stuff up anyway. I know the right thing to do wasn’t to unfollow the celeb. I can’t win if in kept the celeb I would worry and feel anxious and by unfollowing the ocd won and I still feel anxious? 

[PolarBear]

There you go. You admit what you did was not helpful and you stated what the proper course of action should have been.

That's it. Lesson over. I'm not sure why you keep posting stuff like this. We have told you dozens, if not hundreds, of times what you need to do. There is nothing else for us to say.

Yes, not doing compulsions is hard. There's lots of anxiety in the beginning. You might feel like tearing your hair out. We know that. But at the end of the day, you MUST resist and stop your compulsions to get past this, and every other type of OCD. 

[Phil19]

On 29/07/2020 at 23:15, PolarBear said:

There you go. You admit what you did was not helpful and you stated what the proper course of action should have been.

That's it. Lesson over. I'm not sure why you keep posting stuff like this. We have told you dozens, if not hundreds, of times what you need to do. There is nothing else for us to say.

Yes, not doing compulsions is hard. There's lots of anxiety in the beginning. You might feel like tearing your hair out. We know that. But at the end of the day, you MUST resist and stop your compulsions to get past this, and every other type of OCD. 

Yes I can see what the issue is I know what I am doing wrong. However I have become obsessed with social media it’s taken over all my other worries. I could quit social media but that would allow the ocd to win. Adding somebody has to “feel right” my therapist said that was my issue I could forever waiting for something to feel right. I have said before I sort of hope it will all go away. I am finding as time goes by stuff that worried me has less power. Perhaps social media will be the same? 

[PolarBear]

Phil, it doesn't matter what your currentn obsession is. What we have been telling you is applicable to ALL obsessions. 

[dksea]

On 30/07/2020 at 07:15, PolarBear said:

I'm not sure why you keep posting stuff like this. We have told you dozens, if not hundreds, of times what you need to do. There is nothing else for us to say.

I feel like the title of this post has become ironic in a sense. "Tips for suffering ocd daily", Phil provides you with tips on how to keep suffering from OCD daily...

[dksea]

18 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Yes I can see what the issue is I know what I am doing wrong. However I have become obsessed with social media it’s taken over all my other worries.

And before this you had a different obsession that took over and eclipsed your previous worries, this pattern has repeated itself over and over for you, but you won't change anything, so it keeps happening.  Maybe you'll stop obsessing over social media at some point, or obsess over it less, but likely only because you start obsessing over something else.  Thats not actually getting better.
 

18 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Adding somebody has to “feel right”

Except it doesn't have to feel right.  You want it to feel right, OCD is convincing you that it has to but the reality is it doesn't have to.  Just because you feel something or believe something doesn't mean its true.  Its like that old children's rhyme "Step on a crack, you'll break your mothers back".  No matter how strongly you feel like thats true or believe its true, stepping on a crack will have zero effect on your mothers back.  Likewise regardless of how you feel or believe, adding a person on social media simply adds them on social media.  Thats it.
 

18 hours ago, Phil19 said:

I have said before I sort of hope it will all go away.

Sure, we all hope that.  I hope my OCD just vanishes.  I also hope I'll win the lottery and be a billionaire.  But It would be unwise for me to live my life assuming either will happen because the evidence suggests it won't.
 

18 hours ago, Phil19 said:

I am finding as time goes by stuff that worried me has less power. Perhaps social media will be the same? 

Does it?  You are still here, posting about various worries and how they control your life and limit what you can do.  To me that indicates its not going away.  If it did (which would be great, admittedly) I don't think you'd be here anymore.
 

[Phil19]

My ocd has been playing up again. I know it’s another topic but I painted my front ledge at the door. It was dark brown and I could see some runs after first try and also I could see lighter brown so I painted it a couple more times however when removing the masking tape I chipped a bit away so again I repainted. It wouldn’t take to the chip so when I put the brush over it it marked it a bit so I worry it’s not perfect looking. My urge is to keep painting however I know it’s not healthy to be out about six times per day painting it. Sure I could have got someone else to do it but I never. How can I tackle the urge to keep painting it? I should add the ledge was already faded and marked before painting 

Edited August 16, 2020 by Phil19

[dksea]

2 hours ago, Phil19 said:

so I worry it’s not perfect looking

Ok, and what will happen if its not perfect looking?

[Phil19]

19 hours ago, dksea said:

Ok, and what will happen if its not perfect looking?

I look at it every day and worry it’s not perfect looking sort of bugs me. I have been trying to persuade my wife to get a PVC door so I don’t have to do any future painting of the door. 

Also if change the door I can’t do my ocd Where I change door handles every few months 

Edited August 17, 2020 by Phil19

[UpsAndDowns]

challenge yourself to leave it imperfect!

you can do it!

[Phil19]

1 hour ago, UpsAndDowns said:

challenge yourself to leave it imperfect!

you can do it!

Sure that’s an option 

I was wanting a new door anyway though but my ocd even plays on that and says oh it’s expensive or they won’t do a good job it won’t look perfect. In my old house I got work done and it was ok but I still worry. There was a few chips in the wall but they got filled in. Externally most doors seem to blend well but my ocd is on a loop. A simple choice for some has become a big issue for me. I spent all night staring at door pictures. I got some new blinds the other week and I was exactly the same debating what to do. I did beat my ocd and ordered them. Part of the issue is I hate a bad job I’m no DIY person so any work I do is average. However door people are joiners so maybe I need to put trust in them? 

[PolarBear]

What you need to do is forget about the door.

Checking the door often is a compulsion.

Looking at doors all night is a compulsion.

Ruminating is a compulsion.

These compulsions are keeping your obsessions alive. It's your compulsions that are causing your problems.

[dksea]

6 hours ago, Phil19 said:

I look at it every day and worry it’s not perfect looking sort of bugs me. I have been trying to persuade my wife to get a PVC door so I don’t have to do any future painting of the door. 

And what happens when the PVC door has some imperfection that bugs you? 

What you are doing is avoidance, a compulsion.  Yes, I understand it, its something basically all of us OCD sufferers deal with at one point or another.  But it doesn't work in the long run, it makes things worse.  You'd be better off learning how to live with the imperfection, its absolutely possible to do that.  And its way more freeing than replacing, avoiding, etc.

 

[Phil19]

Thanks for the replies 

I painted it again and it looks even worse now. I opted to get them out to fit a PVC door but my reasons are non OCD as I would like a newer door better locks and also no painting.

But yes you are right the PVC one might bug me too. I worry it won’t match up with my porch or the bit below my door is a bit cracked I worry they won’t do a good job. Sure they fit doors all the time they probably will do a good job but I still worry. I can’t guarantee the new door won’t be perfect But hopefully there is many pros out with my ocd. 

[Phil19]

My worry also is if get a pvc door it may look more white than my wooden windows and I may have to paint but maybe I am over worrying and people don’t paint windows every year?