Jump to content

How do I 'fight' my OCD?


Recommended Posts

Hi

I hope you are all well.

I'm posting this mainly to get things off my chest but I would be very grateful for any insight that anyone has to offer. 

I am a young adult living with OCD, I was diagnosed with OCD as a teenager but I have had OCD tendencies since childhood. 

My obsessions are mainly around contamination. I (irrationally) believe that if I come into contact with dog faeces, bodily fluids etc. that my hands are contaminated. I believe that if I do not wash my hands before touching other objects, surfaces etc. the things that I have come into contact with are contaminated too and need to be cleaned. 

My compulsion is to wash my hands, in a certain way and a certain number of times but this has escalated to washing my hands and then washing the sink. All of these rituals involve counting and repeating things. 

Having the thoughts of contamination over and over is exhausting. I want to be in control, I really do. 

Fighting the urge to carry out my rituals is exhausting but so is carrying out the rituals, which I know will only provide me with temporary relief. They are time consuming too. 

I have attended CBT sessions in the past and I have the unfailing support of a close family member who is also affected by OCD. 

I have my motivations for changing. I know that things are getting worse but it's extremely difficult to keep 'fighting' the battles that seem to never end in my mind. 

I am really hoping that somebody could offer me some insight into sitting with the uncomfortable feelings that those of with OCD struggle to sit with. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I know that I need to fight my OCD. 

Edited by HandWasher
Link to comment

A minor victory, in the two hours since posting this thread, I have managed not to carry out my ever growing list of compulsions. It is irritating me but I know what I need to do and we need to draw strength from each other. 

Just for tonight, I'm not doing it. 

Link to comment

Thanks Caramoole

The urge is more of a nagging feeling but I'm not bowing to it because I'm aware of how quickly my compulsions can escalate and I don't want that anymore. 

I've realised that I am in charge, even if I don't always feel like it. 

I hope that you are having a good day, not just OCD wise but in general ?

 

Link to comment

You sound to be doing great and have a good attitude.  It's surprising but often the urge is very strong initially but sometimes can subside much more quickly than you'd Imagine if you resist the compulsion.  Keep at it and let us know how it goes :)

Link to comment

Something to think about is that you have been fighting the thoughts all along. You fight and fight but your situation gets worse. You fight the thoughts by doing compulsions, hoping the anxiety, doubt and thoughts will go away. They never do.

Instead, consider not fighting. Stop fighting the thoughts. Evrryone here knows the best thing to do about inttusive thoughts is absolutely nothing.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Caramoole said:

You sound to be doing great and have a good attitude.  It's surprising but often the urge is very strong initially but sometimes can subside much more quickly than you'd Imagine if you resist the compulsion.  Keep at it and let us know how it goes :)

Thanks Caramoole, I'm taking full advantage of the fact that I no longer have the mental energy that it takes to sit through the same cycle of thoughts, day in day out ?

I have been thinking about my motivations and I am keeping those in mind. I am also keeping the advice given to me on this forum in mind. 

I like the idea that the temporary discomfort is another step towards my goals and I appreciate the insight given to me by you and Polar Bear. 

I suppose it makes it easier to see that my issues are not unique, although I do know that there are millions of people living with OCD, it isn't talked about as openly as it is on this forum. It gets swept under the carpet by people who don't 'get' it and make no attempt to get it. 

Thank you all. 

Link to comment
11 hours ago, HandWasher said:

Still not bowing to my compulsions.

How are you today Hdigtts and paradoxer? 

 

I’m sticking at it so far too, not always easy but it’s a day ticked off! 
Glad you have done so well too :)

Link to comment
Quote

How do I 'fight' my OCD?

Personally I prefer using a sword, but other people use boxing gloves, cricket bats, etc. ?

Welcome to the forums @HandWasher!  Sounds like you have a pretty good insight on OCD already, thats a plus in your favor!

You mention attending CBT sessions in the past, are you continuing to do any exercises or working on a goal oriented plan from that?  The reason I ask is that many people think of CBT as something you go to a few times and then you are done, but really its something to teach you techniques you can keep doing long term for your recovery and benefit.  Its also helpful in formulating a plan for recovery with clear goals and steps to make improvement easier.  If working with a therapist again to do more of that is a possibility that might be helpful.  Otherwise a self-guided CBT book could help you put a plan together.

You might also consider ERP for the hand washing.  Its good to avoid urges and compulsions as you encounter situations in your day to day life, but it might be worth doing ERP to increase those encounters and hopefully speed up your recovery.  Again this would be best done as part of an organized plan where you work towards set goals.

Also, while stopping compulsions is important, keep in mind that stopping them cold turkey might be too much stress at one time, and there is nothing wrong with taking a gradual approach.  Obviously that prolongs recovery to a degree, but better to take a slower and steadier approach and succeed than take an all or nothing approach and flame out.  For example you can go from spending 2 hours a day washing and cleaning to 1 hour, thats a huge improvement.  Remember, OCD recovery is a marathon, not a sprint.  That said if you have the energy, time, and determination to do it all at once, great!  One more point on this topic, you don't have to be perfect.  Yes, its best to avoid compulsions, but its likely you'll slip up at some point or be having a bad day and not be able to resist as much as usual, etc.  Don't let those get you down, it happens.  As long as you are overall progressing forward, the occasional misstep is understandable.  Thats not an excuse to not do the work, its just important to set realistic expectations.

Finally, if its an option, medication might be beneficial.  While many people manage their OCD recovery without medication, there is nothing wrong or shameful of needing a little extra help.  Of course CBT is still vitally important, I always recommend CBT, I know first hand how even with medication CBT is necessary.  That said, medication either short term or long term can help take the edge off and make doing the CBT more manageable.  Medication can have side effects of course, and there are other reasons a person might not want or be able to use them, and thats fine, its a personal decision, but it is an option (in most cases).

Anyway, again, welcome, and best of luck in your recovery!

Link to comment

Hi dksea

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply ? It means a lot to me ?

I think that you're right about the CBT. I suppose it's the same as people who are recovering from alcoholism or overeating in a way. We would never advise somebody who was struggling with those kinds of issues to attend one AA meeting or one Slimming World meeting and somehow expect them to be recovered! Why would we, as people living with OCD, be any different? ?

I have been trying very consciously to not give in to my compulsions over the past few days. I started off by trying to go 'cold turkey' for the first couple of days but I haven't been able to sustain those changes. I have managed to make some small changes though and I am hoping to continue making them. I have been washing my hands significantly less which I suppose I should celebrate! 

Thank you for the advice about the medication--I have been taking medication for several years now and I think that the one that I am currently taking has been the most effective, although I recognise the fact that the medication alone doesn't work. 

I think I'm going to write down some goals so that I have them there in front of me and try to stick to them rather than aiming for perfection, that makes sense. 

I hope that you are well ?

HandWasher

 

Link to comment
On 13/01/2020 at 05:15, HandWasher said:

I think that you're right about the CBT. I suppose it's the same as people who are recovering from alcoholism or overeating in a way. We would never advise somebody who was struggling with those kinds of issues to attend one AA meeting or one Slimming World meeting and somehow expect them to be recovered! Why would we, as people living with OCD, be any different? ?

There are quite a bit of similarities I find in addiction and OCD, and yes you are exactly right.  AA isn't just going to meetings, far from it, its incorporating those values and practices into your day to day life.  Same with CBT/OCD.  Good insight.
 

On 13/01/2020 at 05:15, HandWasher said:

I have been trying very consciously to not give in to my compulsions over the past few days. I started off by trying to go 'cold turkey' for the first couple of days but I haven't been able to sustain those changes. I have managed to make some small changes though and I am hoping to continue making them. I have been washing my hands significantly less which I suppose I should celebrate! 

Yeah, most people aren't able to sustain drastic changes in lifestyle for long, but gradual, methodical changes?  Those are easier to adjust to.  
And yes, absolutely you should celebrate making progress on the hand washing!
 

On 13/01/2020 at 05:15, HandWasher said:

I think I'm going to write down some goals so that I have them there in front of me and try to stick to them rather than aiming for perfection, that makes sense. 

That sounds like a great plan!

Link to comment
10 hours ago, HandWasher said:

Thanks again for your insight @dksea

I think that speaking to people like you who 'get it' is very important ?

HandWasher

You're more than welcome!
If my experiences and learning can help others have an easier time living with their own OCD, its a bit of a silver lining at least!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...