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Full on Panick Attack


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Hi guys I promise I was doing so much better I just had an awful experience there. I had to change my daughter’s nappy for the second time in five minutes and I’m always worried about I’m doing something wrong or this will be the one where the worst will happen and I’ll have a meltdown. So I had to take off her nappy and I noticed it was sitting on the outside of her ya know what kind of hovering then I let it hover there for a while kind of tipping off it and I was thinking then I’ve done something wrong and then after I had to wipe her and I just before I did I do having weird thoughts and feelings too so I did that also and now worried I have harmed her in two ways. God this is awful 

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Hi everyone. I’ve become conscious of so many ways in which OCD tries to tell us stuff and instead of listening to them I’m doing the opposite. For example you can’t go and enjoy your baby or take her out cos your guilty etc but then we must show our brains that this wrong and also there can be just so much OCD stuff we didn’t always recognize as much as the really distressing ones. Thanks for reading

You need to read the advice this lady gave about an hour ago :)

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24 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

 

 

You need to read the advice this lady gave about an hour ago :)

I know and thats how I met until panic ensues. It was like one of my worst fears happening. Deep down I think that’s what I’m afraid of 

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And what did we talk about yesterday?  What did we suggest to try when the thought hits you?

This is going to happen Nikki several times a day as you change or dress your little girl, so we need to be working on the things we discussed, the compulsion and actions you do immediately following an attack.  I'm guessing that the anxiety is already starting to fall a bit.  It's dealing with the anxiety and panic as it strikes :)

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Just now, Caramoole said:

And what did we talk about yesterday?  What did we suggest to try when the thought hits you?

This is going to happen Nikki several times a day as you change or dress your little girl, so we need to be working on the things we discussed, the compulsion and actions you do immediately following an attack.  I'm guessing that the anxiety is already starting to fall a bit.  It's dealing with the anxiety and panic as it strikes :)

When the thoughts hit me try not to perform compulsions. I still get stuck on the ones like today as I felt I did wrong to her. Like first of all recognizing the nappy was resting on her and then leaving it there and it moving around and touching her and me acting awkward when doing it. It’s horrific as I feel it’s deliberate and weird and oh my just awful..:Do you are why that feels so bad?  I still forced myself to go out and get the shopping with my little girl even ‘though I really didn’t want to after that episode. 

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The thoughts will always feel real, as if you did wrong.  If they didn't you wouldn't have a problem.  So, you did do an immediate compulsion by dashing in here to look for reassurance but very well done for continuing as you did and going out for the shopping.

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22 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

The thoughts will always feel real, as if you did wrong.  If they didn't you wouldn't have a problem.  So, you did do an immediate compulsion by dashing in here to look for reassurance but very well done for continuing as you did and going out for the shopping.

Thanks it was a better step but still feel terrible about what happened. Distressed I didn’t wrong.

What happened after the first attack was common for me aswell I get weird thoughts/ feelings and then I wipe or whatever and it worry about but it as it’s in that moment and feels thwarted or wrong. I mean these things I’m struggling to see how they are ok

Edited by Nikki79
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Come on Nikki....work at keeping this thinking in check......don't let your mind wander into rumination.  Do something practical.....get the dinner on.  Go and play with your little girl.  Don't sit and think, do something and work on stopping that chatter :)

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1 hour ago, Caramoole said:

Come on Nikki....work at keeping this thinking in check......don't let your mind wander into rumination.  Do something practical.....get the dinner on.  Go and play with your little girl.  Don't sit and think, do something and work on stopping that chatter :)

Ok I’ll go get the dinner on. You clearly don’t think I’ve done wrong so ? Eeek

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Hi guys will just use the post from now on sorry for any confusion. @Caramoole I was up half the night worrying about the panic attack yesterday. It’s still on my mind this morning. ? Being honest my mind is trying to pick out more detail to see how exactly it happened and believe me I don’t want to be doing that but it won’t let me alone 

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18 hours ago, Caramoole said:

The thoughts will always feel real, as if you did wrong.  If they didn't you wouldn't have a problem.  So, you did do an immediate compulsion by dashing in here to look for reassurance but very well done for continuing as you did and going out for the shopping.

@Caramoole it’s just so frustrating when you are doing a basic thing like changing your daughter’s nappy and you have a moment where you remember stuff  when wiping her yesterday like wiping her and feeling more vigorous ( so hard to describe) and then worrying about it today. I must have pushed that worry off at some point yesterday but today now it bothers me again as I had a reminder 

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Nikki you're not stopping. We mentioned this on your other post yesterday.

It's not good for you please don't keep staring down the rabbit hole by posting every couple hours. These are your compulsions and you WILL NOT get better if you keep doing it.

This is what is keeping your fears at the forefront of your mind - you feel every time you have an anxious moment you need to post it on here. AND by the look of it if no one replies in time you feel you have to keep asking until you hear back. It's a compulsion.

As PB said these are relatively new so there is good time for you to stop this and target your other compulsions too.

I too felt I needed to post every other day when I signed up to this site a few months back but it became very clear it was just fuelling my OCD, take it from others on here who know and have experienced the exact same thing as you.

You can do this!

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I was anxious all the time too, I hated myself, I wanted everything to end and I didnt care how, believe me i know. 

I have Harm OCD so I was terrified all the time that I may have harmed someone physically, sexually, when driving. Honestly I've had the anxiety and still do.

But with the help from people on here I was encouraged to stop doing compulsions and get on with the day, and it made a massive difference.

I'm not saying you're a **** forum member at all and I apologise if you feel that way, you're just not doing what's right for you at the moment. No matter how tough love it can be from members on here, I can honestly say I'm telling you this because I've been exactly there where you are, and I'm honestly trying to help you :)

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Oh please don’t apologize I fully appreciate you taking the time to write to me and explain your story. I bet it must have been horrible for you and I pray for all the people out there who have OCD and have to go through this and those people worse than me, or who especially may have nobody to talk to. 

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