BigDave Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Dear friends, I wanted to write to you telling you a tale of hope. Except, this is not a tale. Don't get me wrong, this is only a short period of time. I have been doing this now for probably no more than 30 or so hours. But for the past 30 hours, I have done my best to avoid all compulsions,. This has meant doing things that I don't like such as putting cloths that may have touched my phone back in my drawer or touching bathroom toilet handles. And to be honest, the first few times I did it I was very anxious. And while I am by no means cured, I do want to say this - I have done these things and I have, thus far, managed to survive. I am still alive. I am still breathing. No toilet handle germs have killed me yet. The point I am saying is that there is hope. And while I am not kidding myself that I am cured, I still fall back with certain things (like I just changed my t-shirt now), I actually got through a whole day relatively Scott-Free and you know what? It feels great. So I'm going to keep going with this and see where it takes me. There is also no time like the present for you to start too. As hard as it may be, just stop doing them compulsions. Expose yourself. The sooner you do that, the sooner we can get to a place where @PolarBear is. I have to say also that for people like PolarBear and dksea amongst others, these people are amazing for doing what they do. I just wanted to share the love with you guys and let you know that while there is life there is hope, and we can fight the good fight! KEEP GOING AND GOOD LUCK! Link to comment
PolarBear Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 GREAT BIG POLAR BEAR HUG FROM CANADA!!!! Yes! Woo hoo! You are an inspiration, Dave. Take one day at a time. And reward yourself for a job well done. This is a huge milestone for you. Link to comment
BelAnna Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 (edited) That's brilliant BigDave! Hopefully this will pay off hugely in a few weeks/months and each day will feel a bit easier. I am feeling a bit more positive now that I've started some more CBT too. My tasks seem fairly small at the moment (e.g. washing my hair once [rather than 3x] a day) but seem to be making a difference to the way I feel about my contamination triggers! What do you have planned for tomorrow? Edited January 15, 2020 by BelAnna Link to comment
BigDave Posted January 15, 2020 Author Share Posted January 15, 2020 4 minutes ago, BelAnna said: That's brilliant BigDave! Hopefully this will pay off hugely in a few weeks/months and each day will feel a bit easier. I am feeling a bit more positive now that I've started some more CBT too. My tasks seem fairly small at the moment (e.g. washing my hair once [rather than 3x] a day) but seem to be making a difference to the way I feel about my contamination triggers! What do you have planned for tomorrow? A little bit of everything really - I want to continue with the door handle exposure because leaving and entering the bathroom has been difficult and it would be great if I could end the day with the same pair of slippers that I started with. Other than that, just keep doing what I'm doing really. The urge is there but I just have to reassure myself that nothing bad is going to come from it. It's mostly contamination and checking for me so I am just riding the storm at the moment. We have to remember that the world is not perfectly clean and no matter how hard we try, there are "contaminants" everywhere if we want to look at it that way. But our immune system needs something to do. What I would really like to do is conquer the dustbin in the kitchen. I will get to it - I did avoid it a bit today though I walked past it without a care in the world. Life is just for living right, and you can't let this OCD bully really stop you from having a good life. 13 minutes ago, PolarBear said: GREAT BIG POLAR BEAR HUG FROM CANADA!!!! Yes! Woo hoo! You are an inspiration, Dave. Take one day at a time. And reward yourself for a job well done. This is a huge milestone for you. Thank you so much PB. I have to say that outside of my therapist, you are one of my biggest inspirations and I know that this is not insurmountable. It just seems it. I know you have to fight back. And don't worry, I did treat myself this evening to some movies so I'm very happy about that too! I am actually really looking forward to the weekend so I can really make use of this added free time that I hope to have now! Link to comment
paradoxer Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 Worth a million compulsions - well done! Link to comment
Andrea Posted January 15, 2020 Share Posted January 15, 2020 1 hour ago, BigDave said: Dear friends, I wanted to write to you telling you a tale of hope. Except, this is not a tale. Don't get me wrong, this is only a short period of time. I have been doing this now for probably no more than 30 or so hours. But for the past 30 hours, I have done my best to avoid all compulsions,. This has meant doing things that I don't like such as putting cloths that may have touched my phone back in my drawer or touching bathroom toilet handles. And to be honest, the first few times I did it I was very anxious. And while I am by no means cured, I do want to say this - I have done these things and I have, thus far, managed to survive. I am still alive. I am still breathing. No toilet handle germs have killed me yet. The point I am saying is that there is hope. And while I am not kidding myself that I am cured, I still fall back with certain things (like I just changed my t-shirt now), I actually got through a whole day relatively Scott-Free and you know what? It feels great. So I'm going to keep going with this and see where it takes me. There is also no time like the present for you to start too. As hard as it may be, just stop doing them compulsions. Expose yourself. The sooner you do that, the sooner we can get to a place where @PolarBear is. I have to say also that for people like PolarBear and dksea amongst others, these people are amazing for doing what they do. I just wanted to share the love with you guys and let you know that while there is life there is hope, and we can fight the good fight! KEEP GOING AND GOOD LUCK! Hi Bigdave , Congrats! You are an inspiration. Keep going and thank you for sharing Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 OMG this is the best post!!! It made me so happy to read this!! Well done dave!!! keep going!!! Link to comment
Closed for repairs Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Great news, best thing I’ve read all week. Link to comment
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