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Neat & tidy OCD? New here, looking for help


Guest Bellalemonade

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Guest Bellalemonade

I’ve self diagnosed myself with OCD which I have been struggling with for 5-6 years plus. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it before, or sought for help. I often tell myself there is nothing wrong with me and push it to the back of my mind.

If things aren’t neat, tidy and perfectly arranged then I feel really anxious and stressed, and struggle to stop thinking it until it has been put right. If I am stressed, my OCD becomes worse.

I still live with my parents so it is only my personal spaces (my bedroom, bathroom, my desk at work/working area) and my own stuff (clothing, furniture etc) that I experience problems with.

Some examples of my OCD are: objects need to be symmetrically spaced apart, labels have to be facing forward. Even the inside of my drawers are tidy, everything has to be neatly arranged and I check that it is every time I go in that drawer, and if it’s not I arrange it so it’s neat again. If I pack an overnight bag, everything has to be neatly folded and arranged in the bag. 

I also struggle with germs slightly. For example if a gym bag was put on top of my bed it would instantly annoy me, and I have to wash my hands after touching my worn gym clothes and I also don’t want my worn gym clothes to touch my other things. I am ok with wearing shoes inside / in my bedroom etc, I only get bothered about germs when it comes to the gym. I think this may be related to my skin, because I suffered with mild/moderate acne I get extremely worried about putting germs onto my face and then getting spots because of this.

It may be worth noting that both my parents are extremely tidy, our house looks a bit like a show house in the sense that everything is always put away and super tidy. 

A few people have remarked that I am OCD when seeing my bedroom which has confirmed to me that I do indeed have a problem. 

I am searching for advice, firstly because I get stressed out because of my OCD, secondly because I waste time always tidying and placing items in a certain way, and thirdly because I am thinking about moving in with my boyfriend and I don’t want my OCD thoughts and habits to cause problems with us living together. 
 

Is there anyone else that struggles from the same or similar thoughts and habits as me? 

Is there anything I can do in the form of self help?

And lastly, should I see a therapist? If if so, what forms of treatment may benefit me?

Sorry for the essay, I just thought as much info as possible would be helpful!!

Thank you.

Edited by Bellalemonade
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Hi there.

Funny thing is, most people think what you have described is what OCD is all about. Truth is, your type of OCD is one of the rarer forms. Many people with OCD could care less about being neat and tidy.

What you have described is OCD with obsessions of order and symmetry and some contamination OCD as well.

Do you ever arrange things, walk away, look back and adjust them again, trying to make them perfect?

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Guest Bellalemonade

Are there any self help measures you would recommend in the meantime, something to reduce the anxiety/stress I feel from the OCD until I find a therapist I’m happy with? Thanks again! 

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Guest Bellalemonade

Also I thought it may be a rarer type of OCD as I have scrolled through endless pages on the internet and haven’t found much (if anything) about my kind of OCD which has been pretty isolating. So I really appreciate your reply @PolarBear

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1 hour ago, Bellalemonade said:

I’ve self diagnosed myself with OCD which I have been struggling with for 5-6 years plus. I haven’t spoken to anyone about it before, or sought for help. I often tell myself there is nothing wrong with me and push it to the back of my mind.

Hi Bella,

Sadly, not even professionals are in any position to make a diagnosis from text on a forum, so you really should see your GP and to get an official diagnosis, & subsequent treatment if needed.

Just one other thing, have you looked into OCPD & similarities with OCD?

 

 

 

 

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Guest Bellalemonade

Hi @felix4 that is a very interesting point. I didn’t know there were two different disorders, I have only really heard of OCD.

I think perhaps I do have a traits that are OCPD which is a bit scary as it’s called a personality disorder.

I am super worried and reluctant to go to my GP about this because I’m embarrassed and also it will make it feel more real, I have been looking at finding a therapist privately...

Thanks for your reply.

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17 minutes ago, Bellalemonade said:

Also I thought it may be a rarer type of OCD as I have scrolled through endless pages on the internet and haven’t found much (if anything) about my kind of OCD which has been pretty isolating. So I really appreciate your reply @PolarBear

If you Google YBOCS, which is the Yale Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale, there is a list of types or themes of OCD. You will find one dealing with order and symmetry. That's you!

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I have contamination OCD but also struggle with perfectionism. My bedroom has to be perfect and I too keep things neat and in order. I grew up with a clean tidy house too so that probably sets a certain standard you don’t even think about. I think it is good that you are seeking help now as you don’t want the germ aspect to worsen. Maybe try and think about it there is any area of stress in your life that you are subconsciously controlling with ocd- by keeping things neat and ordered at home and with your belongings, it’s like you’re making up for something you feel is out of your control maybe? 
either way- my advice is try not to dwell on the why too much as we are meant to ignore what OCD says and give it no meaning (easier said than done I know). 
if I was you I would work on maybe trying to move something small out of place to start and keep it there for as long as you can and build up your tolerance. And distraction is key, we get so lost in our minds we forget the good things outside the bubble- moving in with your partner is great! Try and remember how good that is and live in the moment, rather than focusing on perfectionism and order. Hope this helps slightly

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Guest Bellalemonade

@Never-ending thank you so much for your reply. It means so much to know that someone can relate to me. 

Also, thank you for the advice! I will try moving an object slightly and see how long I last.

Live in the moment is the best piece of advice you can give anyone. Thanks again and good luck with your journey. 

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@Bellalemonade I know it sounds silly to think of just living in the moment when ocd feels so real but sometimes it takes certain things to really hit us or get through. My relationship recently ended due to my issues and I wish I could turn back time and do things differently or appreciate what I had because as soon as I lost it, I got a reality check. It didn’t mean I cured my illness unfortunately but in a weird way I’m hoping my experience will help motivate you to try something small so that you can enjoy your life and hopefully enjoy taking the steps to live with your boyfriend. At the end of the day, being neat is ok, but learning to tolerate something being out of place is needed. Distraction really is key- keep repeating to yourself ‘who cares if it’s not in order?’ 

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Guest Bellalemonade

@Never-ending thank you. I’m sorry that your relationship ended, but thank you for your kind words. As cliche as it sounds, you really do grow immensely from the tough times in life.

It’s also nice to have some advice with a bit of self help, as for the moment I’m avoiding getting further help! 
 

Thanks again x

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