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Hope someone can help :(

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I’m new to this forum, nice to meet you all :)


I was wondering if anyone had any insight as I’m quite baffled myself. 


I have had Ocd majority of my life but it was only diagnosed after having my children as I suffered intrusive harm thoughts and had CBT which helped me too lose the intrusive thoughts.


I however obsess about my health  ( everything’s the big C or a sinister disease) and

I will google until the cows come home and my doctor is sick of the sight of me. 


For a while now though I have been noticing some strange behaviours and I’m unsure as to why I’m getting them. 


I smoke and I want to quit, but I don’t seem to be able to because I have this constant pattern of counting how many cigarettes I have a day or week, I also do this with glasses of wine and junk food. 


Each time I try to diet, cut down or abstain with wine or stop smoking I do it for a day and then I’m back to it again.. it’s always the same days, the same amounts etc. So I always drink or smoke 3 days a week same amounts etc or I freak...

It’s mentally destroying me as I am fully aware it’s all harmful to my psychical health and I don’t know why I can’t just break these habits like other people do. 

I have read so many self help books, tried Nrt and been to the dr who just tells me the standard cut down or quit but I cannot seem to break the cycle.

It’s like I’m play Russian roulette with my health and I don’t know why because I am the most worried person when it comes to health..

My friends and family are so fed up of hearing my goals because to them I always fail.. 

is this anything to do with my ocd? 

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1 hour ago, Sam311 said:

is this anything to do with my ocd? 

Hello Sam,

Welcome to the forums :)

In answer to your question, I think the counting of the cigarettes and wine could well be part of the OCD (I guess it depends if it's anxiety driven counting), and of course  that could have a knock on effect of hindering your attempts to quit.   In terms of the actual habit change/quitting, that may not be because of OCD that you struggle, breaking habits/addictions to smoking etc is hard (even without OCD).  

I am sure others who have been through similar will offer input over the next 24 hours though.

With best wishes, 


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