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Lessons on Autism


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I’m posting these in the hope that people will read these, learn, and not treat others in their day to day lives who have autism so insensitively. We always talk about how there is a need to educate people on OCD and what that’s like and how to talk in a respectful manner about it, I think there is a major need for this to be done with Autism, since OCD and ASDs are highly correlated.

 

https://www.salon.com/2019/05/03/im-autistic-not-a-child-are-casual-cruelty-and-condescension-neurotypical-traits/

 

https://aeon.co/essays/the-autistic-view-of-the-world-is-not-the-neurotypical-cliche

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Dispelling the pervasive myth that people on the spectrum cannot feel empathy. This I feel is akin to colonists calling native people savages. It is another form of ‘othering’ and ironically shows how non autistic ‘neurotypical’ people can be non empathetic.

If Asperger people were non empathetic, then why are people like Chris Packham and Greta Thunberg going above and beyond to save the earth, animals and people within? 

https://www.aane.org/emotions-and-empathy/

 

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Yes Felix, thanks. I’ve been faced with manys an incidence of ignorance in my work and personal life from people who have been making inappropriate comments about aspergers, autism and mental health issues. People have a misconception about ASD in general, evidenced everywhere, even on here, and that ignorance stigmatises people like me - so I’m putting the truth out there in the hope that people will stop patronising and dismissing people like me who are neurologically differently wired. 

So if one person learns something and takes it on board, then that’s job done.

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 OCD can be co-morbid with other mental health problems which makes things even more difficult for the sufferer. 

In my own case I have 4 negative cognitive thinking distortions that make things worse, plus a photographic memory that captures distressing material to play back on an OCD theme :(

Autism is not an unusual co-morbidity and Orwell is right to spread the word. In seeking to help others we do need to bear in mind other mental health issues they may have, even though we aren't advising on them. 

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From the Organisation of Autism Research

https://researchautism.org/autism-respect-the-beautiful-otherness-of-the-autistic-mind/

Respect is described as “a positive feeling of esteem or deference for a person or other entity, and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem.”

This means that in order to feel respect for someone on the Autism spectrum, there must first be a positive feeling about someone on the Autism spectrum.

Positive feelings come from being aware of Autism and how it comes in a million shapes and sizes; they come fromunderstanding Autism, what it looks like and how it can change from moment to moment, day to day; and they come fromaccepting Autism as an integral part of the person on the spectrum.

Deference is recognizing that a person on the spectrum is the final expert on they are thinking and feeling. As a parent it is my responsibility to teach and guide the Navigator in learning the tools and strategies he needs to achieve what he wants in life. But only he can tell me what works best for him.

What do “respectful actions” and “conducting oneself representing that esteem” look like?

Some say good manners are a sign of respect. I love the line from the movie Blast from the Past where one of the characters describes good manners as

“… just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn’t know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?…I know, I mean I thought a “gentleman” was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible.”

(Emphasis added.) Good manners and making someone on the Autism spectrum feel as comfortable as possible might include:

Not stereotyping anyone – when you’ve met one person with Autism you’ve met one person with Autism. Don’t make any assumptions that you really know what is going on.

Think before speaking – yes, parents and people on the spectrum have probably already tried the idea that just came into your head. Instead of offering suggestions, ask about lessons learned and successful strategies and tools.

Always making sure people on the spectrum and their care givers are at the table in any Autism-related decision-making of any kind. In the foster care world, foster youth say “nothing about us without us” and I have seen that phrase also used in the Autism community. Live it.

 

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