Jump to content

Social Worker calling in on me


Recommended Posts

I don't know. But OCD is pretty clear to spot for me.

Obsessional thinking plus carrying out compulsions leading to disorder (anxiety and distress) 

Doubt and uncertainty. 

Suggestion of acting opposite to our true core values. 

Fear of it being true and not OCD. 

Catastrophising. 

All elements of OCD. 

 

Edited by taurean
Link to comment
  • Replies 180
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

7 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

I notice when I don’t think about the worries and what Im scared of the worry does dissipate but I’m scared that it will never go if I don’t believe for sure it didn’t happen. That ultimately is what has me so depressed and stuck. 

Certainty does not exist in the universe.  Its an illusion, a useful one, but an illusion none the less.  There is always at least a small possibility of SOMETHING happening that you don't expect for example.  There is no way you can prove with absolute certainty that something didn't happen.  You can be extremely sure it didn't happen, but there's always some remote "what if" possibility.  Most people, those without OCD in particular, don't care about that, their brain doesn't demand they reduce the doubt to 0 to move on.  Unfortunately OCD makes us feel like that is what we must do.  But OCD is lying, you don't need absolute certainty, you never had it to begin with.

Link to comment

So just to update you guys. I met with a Psychiatrist this morning. He asked me loss of questions and I answered as her I could. He told me that I was on the severe end of OCD and because I have had it for quite some time with no larger period of recovery that it is quite embedded. He feels the Lexapro 20mg is good for my mood ( that I’m currently on) but he is talking about something called Clonamprime and maybe an anti psychotic to stop the intrusive thoughts. He said he needs to research it a bit first but will get back to me. I told him what I was worried about and he said basically I have an anxiety disorder that has manifested in thoughts. He will be referring me to a psychologist for counselling so hopefully that will come sooner than later.

what do you guys thinks? Any thoughts on theses meds or what he said?

Link to comment

Kind of in a strange place after my appointment. Panicked a little cos I feel I still have no help right now and everyday without it feels like a day too long. I feel like I really need to take all you guy’s advice on board but it’s almost like I can’t be convinced and feel so mean to you guys. If I do what you say and believe what you say I’m somehow copping out and not dealing with the fact I’m guilty or at least could be. Please forgive me. Just feeling I need a miracle at times. 

Link to comment
Quote

Just feeling I need a miracle at times

There aren't any, sadly.  On the plus side what you need is courage & faith to take the plunge and try the advice.  This will be much the same when you see the Psychologist.  Understanding what they say won't be enough....you have to follow the advice and do it.......and you can you know :)

Link to comment
28 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

There aren't any, sadly.  On the plus side what you need is courage & faith to take the plunge and try the advice.  This will be much the same when you see the Psychologist.  Understanding what they say won't be enough....you have to follow the advice and do it.......and you can you know :)

Do I deserve it tho? Do I deserve to walk away from what bothers me? Often I get panicked with guilt that I shouldn’t it’s wrong and I’m bad. I want to do so much of what you say. 

Link to comment

Clomipramine isn't an SSRI drug, it's called a tricyclic antidepressant and is usually used when SSRI's haven't proved effective. 

Forum friend Whitebeam does really well on it for her OCD intrusive thoughts. 

A combination of antidepressant for OCD plus antipsychotic may be used when issues are severe. PolarBear uses a combination of SSRI plus antipsychotic to very beneficial effect. 

But meds are very subjective to individuals in terms of what benefit they may or may not provide. 

Link to comment
3 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

Do I deserve it tho? Do I deserve to walk away from what bothers me? Often I get panicked with guilt that I shouldn’t it’s wrong and I’m bad. I want to do so much of what you say. 

Of course you deserve it. 

Neither you nor any of us are bad for having unpleasant repulsive or whatever intrusive thoughts from OCD. 

We aren't responsible for those thoughts. And in any case they have no meaning unless we believe them - really they are just worthless junk. 

Link to comment

Taurean is right with what he says BUT.........Most of this has to come from you Nikki :(  As much as I truly sympathise with how you're feeling, you have to take on the personal responsibility for starting to make some of these changes without the comfort of certainty.  This has been explained many times and we are sliding into a situation of repeating reassurance.  That won't help you at all, it's helping to keep you stuck.

So given you're not going to feel certain, that you won't be sure, that this is "normal" in OCD......isn't it worth trying to get back on track with resisting the compulsions.  It's so easy to offer you endless explanations, more reassurance, different descriptions but as you've found, it doesn't help for very long.  I want to see a Nikki that gets control back in her life and let's her enjoy being a Mum in the way she should....not one that 6 months on is still here reading endless explanations but is still waiting for it to "feel safe", it won't at first.

Link to comment
37 minutes ago, taurean said:

A combination of antidepressant for OCD plus antipsychotic may be used when issues are severe. PolarBear uses a combination of SSRI plus antipsychotic to very beneficial effect. 

I tried some of the most widely used SSRI's for OCD at doses way above those recommended for depression, which only really took the tiniest edge off of things.

I now take instead a minimal amount of a SSNRI antidepressant not recommended for OCD called Venlafaxine, & also a minimal amount of an antipsychotic aripiprazole. I found it kind of twisted the thought process back to reality, & subsequent CBT then worked wonders.

 

Edited by felix4
Link to comment

My fear regarding new medication is that it will make me a zombie or that it will have unpleasant side effects. However I need to feel better and enjoy my life, which currently I’m struggling to do.

I know I need to take the bull by the horns, as it were and take the advice given. I sometimes feel like a child with so many fears on her first day of school ( and of course I was that child screaming for my Mum to take me home). I seem to need so much reassurance and hugs just to feel ok to do what has been advised to me. My confidence is low too for sure.

Edited by Nikki79
Link to comment
25 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

Taurean is right with what he says BUT.........Most of this has to come from you Nikki :(  As much as I truly sympathise with how you're feeling, you have to take on the personal responsibility for starting to make some of these changes without the comfort of certainty.  This has been explained many times and we are sliding into a situation of repeating reassurance.  That won't help you at all, it's helping to keep you stuck.

So given you're not going to feel certain, that you won't be sure, that this is "normal" in OCD......isn't it worth trying to get back on track with resisting the compulsions.  It's so easy to offer you endless explanations, more reassurance, different descriptions but as you've found, it doesn't help for very long.  I want to see a Nikki that gets control back in her life and let's her enjoy being a Mum in the way she should....not one that 6 months on is still here reading endless explanations but is still waiting for it to "feel safe", it won't at first.

I want that to be me too Caramoole not consumed with fear and doubt and a depression as a result. It’s like whenever I think yes I can do what they say then I see a thought coming in pointing that I might be guilty bla bla bla.....and I get pulled into ruminating and have to stop it but the upset remains. 

I have to work harder, I know.

Link to comment

Taking meds is a big choice, but many people including me get over any initial side effects. 

I was prepared to switch med, and if need be take an antipsychotic. 

Now I am in a better state I believe the Sertraline SSRI is kicking in and giving me a psychological boost enabling me to better work therapy. And be much happier because of its antidepressant effect. 

 

Link to comment
6 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

I seem to need so much reassurance and hugs just to feel ok to do what has been advised to me

But how long does that last Nikki?  Hours? Half an hour?  It's not working and it's not helping.  Support is fine, a hug is fine, encouragement is fine....but constant reassurance isn't.  Yes, of course people need reassurance, especially early on or at the beginning of a crisis....but in the long term, those who continue to provide you with reassurance are helping to keep you stuck.  It's well-intentioned but not helpful.  The best thing family & friends can do is to really learn about OCD and the role they play in helping offer support.

2 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

It’s like whenever I think yes I can do what they say then I see a thought coming in pointing that I might be guilty bla bla bla.....and I get pulled into ruminating and have to stop it but the upset remains. 

And????

Nikki, that is OCD.  It's what happens to each and everyone of us.  You have to work through that blast of fear and doubt and work at stopping the rumination.  It's you who's doing the thinking so you are able (by working at it) to reduce it and eventually stop it.  I know it's really tough, it's horrid, it's hard work but you can do it :hug:

Link to comment
41 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

But how long does that last Nikki?  Hours? Half an hour?  It's not working and it's not helping.  Support is fine, a hug is fine, encouragement is fine....but constant reassurance isn't.  Yes, of course people need reassurance, especially early on or at the beginning of a crisis....but in the long term, those who continue to provide you with reassurance are helping to keep you stuck.  It's well-intentioned but not helpful.  The best thing family & friends can do is to really learn about OCD and the role they play in helping offer support.

And????

Nikki, that is OCD.  It's what happens to each and everyone of us.  You have to work through that blast of fear and doubt and work at stopping the rumination.  It's you who's doing the thinking so you are able (by working at it) to reduce it and eventually stop it.  I know it's really tough, it's horrid, it's hard work but you can do it :hug:

Thanks Caramoole ? ? 

Ultimately we are just to ignore and refocus even when we are struggling to do so.

Edited by Nikki79
Link to comment
19 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

Ultimately we are just to ignore and refocus even when we are struggling to do so.

Well sort of......but only if it were that simple as ignoring.  Re the rumination your brain will be screaming at you to think it through one more time, to just go over events again.  You have to be aware when that urge strikes, when you're tempted to start having that conversation in your head.  You stop it, you refuse to debate (and you can because you're the one thinking the thoughts (I don't mean intrusive thoughts, just the conversation)  You don't engage in the debate.  Within minutes you'll feel compelled to think about it.....be aware and again, stop the debate.  It's like a needy toddler pulling on your skirts and throwing a tantrum because they want more sweets, it can be relentless.

Try it Nikki.  Try to recognise when your mind is wandering off to "think", to work it out and consciously stop that conversation.  Know it as rumination, a compulsion.  Identify that nagging urge but then don't debate :)  Homework for you

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

I feel like I really need to take all you guy’s advice on board but it’s almost like I can’t be convinced

Don't wait until you are convinced, do it anyway. :)  I have found that "fake it til you make it" works really well when it comes to OCD.  Act AS IF you believe what we are saying even though you still have doubt. 

 

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

If I do what you say and believe what you say I’m somehow copping out and not dealing with the fact I’m guilty or at least could be.

Ok, thats one possibility.  The other possibility (more likely IMO) is that you are doing the right and proper thing for someone who has OCD.  I know you want to feel SURE about it one way or the other.  But thats like saying you want to be a millionaire before you invest your money in anything.  Or you want to be in great shape before you take on a new exercise regimen.  You can't wait for the end goal to be true BEFORE you do the steps that get you to that end goal.  To beat OCD you have to assume what you have is OCD first.  You DONT need to be sure.

And if we are all wrong, including your psychiatrist, well, it happens, people are wrong sometimes, and you should be guilty.  Cross that bridge when you come to it I guess.  You can not guarantee the future.  There is no way to prove what will or won't happen.  Overcoming OCD involves making a choice to ACT like its OCD even though you doubt it.  You can't wait to feel certain before you act.  That certainty might never come and you'll just end up waiting forever.  When your brain/OCD says "but what if..." say "well I'm doing it anyway".  You need to change not just what you do, but the mindset you approach this with.
 

4 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

My fear regarding new medication is that it will make me a zombie or that it will have unpleasant side effects.

Its understandable to have some fear about that sort of thing.  But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.  If you feel worse, if you have side effects you can deal with it.  Maybe you won't and things will get better.  There is no way to know until you try.  If you don't try to change things they likely won't change for the better.  Probably they will get worse.  Whether or not you decide to take the medication, you definitely need to change your thinking about all this.  Start taking chances, because as you say, what you've been doing hasn't worked.

Link to comment

Hi guys, craving some certainty this evening after I met with the Psychologist I spoke about. It just seems when you meet people who make you less sure you need the certainty even more in a way. She suggests going back into the past, finding out where the lack of self everything ( esteem, love, confidence) etc is coming from and working on that. She says it could took a long time. As a good friend of mine said you are in a mental health crisis with obsessive thoughts not over stuff from the past. 

Edited by Nikki79
Link to comment
6 hours ago, Nikki79 said:

She suggests going back into the past, finding out where the lack of self everything ( esteem, love, confidence) etc is coming from and working on that. She says it could took a long time. As a good friend of mine said you are in a mental health crisis with obsessive thoughts not over stuff from the past. 

Analysis of the past is likely to little if any good for OCD.  CBT does not generally involve delving into the past and trying to find "the reason" for X, Y, and Z, its about changing how we react NOW to what we are experiencing NOW.  From a purely OCD based standpoint what your psychologist is suggesting doesn't sound like the correct approach, certainly not the one supported by the UK's NICE standards or comparative version in the US, etc.  If your only or primary concern is the OCD, then I would be incredibly skeptical of a therapist suggesting this kind of approach, it does not seem at all like the right fit under those circumstances.

That said, if you have other issues along with the OCD it is, perhaps, possible that you can receive some benefit from this type of therapy.  I can't say with any certainty whether that is or isn't the case however as I haven't really delved in to effective treatment regimens for other conditions than OCD.

I think its important that you know/clarify with your therapist what their approach for treating the OCD part of your problem is.  If it is not CBT I think you are probably not working with the right therapist.  If it includes CBT but also other techniques to address other problems that might be ok.  Maybe. It would depend.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...