Truckerdave Posted February 18, 2020 Share Posted February 18, 2020 Hi, I have lived with OCD most of my life but the past few years have been really good. In my teens living with my parents we had the neighbours from hell. Being young I was helpless in the situation. We moved to a nice quiet area and life got better. Later on in my early 20s I moved in with my now wife, and we were fine. Then our daughter was born and the first weekend we had her home our neighbours had a party into the early hours of the morning. Everything came flooding back from before. From then on I became obsessed with checking if the neighbours were in or out, even though there was no further issue with them. I managed to work through this, and a couple years later we moved to a bigger home. This move turned out to be a bad idea, our new neighbours teenage son would cause issues when the parents were out, especially on Saturday nights. I became obsessed with checking if the neighbours car was in or out on a Saturday night. If they had gone out, I would then check to see when they have come back as this would be the only thing to take the anxiety away. The anxiety became so much I became suicidal, and had to get help. I did this and slowly and steadily I learnt how to manage things, and in addition the teenage son moved out. I continued treatment and started to feel like I was living a again. A few years later we moved again to our current home. Our neighbours are great and we’re relived when we moved in as we had replaced eight our who caused them issues. We have lived in this place for seven years and haven’t been happier, until earlier last year when their teenage son started acting up. He is nothing in comparison to the previous neighbour but his behaviour has triggered my OCD again as the situation is similar. A few weeks ago we caught him smoking weed down the passage way between our houses. He hid. I spoke to his Dad who before I could get the words out asked me if it was weed they were smoking. He apologised and said they has suspicions he was smoking weed, and would speak to him. last weekend we went out, when I came home our neighbours driveway was full of cars owned by the kids mate and there was a strong smell of weed again, the neighbours had gone away. They haven’t returned yet and nothing more has been smelt, but I have found his grinder stashed away in their front garden (it’s in plain sight). Our neighbours will be back in a couple of days, and I want to tell them but my anxiety and obsessive behaviour is making me doubt what I should do?If I do nothing it will continue and I am scared my OCD will get worse. But if I speak to the parents I don’t want any fallout. I have had the idea to speak to the parents but tell them we don’t want to be involved and suggest that they tell him they found the grinder. Problem is I cannot think straight, I am constantly worrying about negative outcomes, and trying to manage my checking and anxiety. I need advice? Link to comment
PolarBear Posted February 18, 2020 Share Posted February 18, 2020 You know what's common among all the instances you mentioned? You. And your anxiety. What if you did nothing? What if you have been freaking out over nothing? What if you stopped checking your neighbors and just let them be. Do something else, instead of checking if they're home. This isn't about a pot smoking teenager. It's about you and your anxiety. Link to comment
hazydaze Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 Completely agree with PolarBear. Try not doing anything, and see what happens! It feels scary, I know. And yes, it'll make you very anxious. But the anxiety will recede! I suggest looking into CBT. There's some great literature if you aren't in the market for a psychologist at the moment. Link to comment
Closed for repairs Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 Yeah I'm pretty sure nextdoor will find out about the pot party, with out you, teenage boys are nowhere near as clever and they think they are, they probably posted it on Facebook, or something. Link to comment
Closed for repairs Posted February 21, 2020 Share Posted February 21, 2020 I mean he stashed his grinder in his own garden!... By the way don't go looking for trouble, the parents know, let them deal with it, I think you should be aiming for slightly concerned amusement! Link to comment
Truckerdave Posted February 22, 2020 Author Share Posted February 22, 2020 Thanks for the replies. I have managed to find guidance I had from receiving CBT a few years ago, and started to put it into practice. I have been resisting checking so far this week. Today will be the first real test though being the weekend. I’ve put a plant pot over the place where I found the grinder and have ignored it since. Closed for repairs - you are exactly right the parents suspect his habit, as they mentioned it to us a few weeks back and they are not happy about it. The dad is very old school so I have been reassuring myself that he is handling it. Link to comment
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