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Said the wrong thing.


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1 hour ago, dimmerswitch said:

Thought = Thought = No Action 

A thought is a thought. Accept it and allow it to be there. Questioning the thought, or your reaction to it is feeding the OCD bully. 

But this is a thought about a verbal statement I've made, I'd like too know why there is nothing in what I said that wouldn't make someone feel bad. 

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21 hours ago, phillev said:

This is the part my brain cannot take in, why wouldn't most people not be worried about it?

I will answer this question, once.  But first, I want you to think about and understand, that what you are doing right now is a compulsive behavior, its reassurance seeking.  Even when I tell you, its not going to make the anxiety stop.  I wish it would, I really do.  I wish it would stop for you, for me, for all of us.  Unfortunately that's not how OCD works, or how you recover.  See its not about what your brain can "take in".  You won't solve this by understanding the thought better or "why" you said it.  Yes, having insight into HOW OCD works can help you better recover, but you still need to apply the right approach in order to get there.

So, despite this being a bit too much reassurance, here goes.
The reason most people wouldn't worry about what you said is simple, it doesn't mean anything. Now don't worry I won't stop there, but really I should.
You are hyper focused on the word "temptation".  You think it has some deeper meaning.  You think that the reason you said it indicates some hidden desire, that your brain specifically chose temptation because it represented your "true nature".  Sorry but people just aren't that deep.  We say stuff ALL the time that you could analyze deeply and break apart word by word "why did you choose this word and not that word" etc. etc. etc.  The overwhelming majority of the time the reason is mundane and boring and as simple as "well it just popped in to my head and fit".  Most of what we think and say is not done with deep introspection or hidden meaning.  Human beings are, for the most part, highly superficial.  Oh we have our moments, but a lot of what we say is spur of the moment, there isn't great depth behind it.  You know why you can have TV shows where people sound all smart and witty?  Because someone sat down and spent hours or days or weeks or months crafting the perfect dialogue.  None of us have that time!  I didn't spend days coming up with this post, its coming to me off the top of my head.  Oh I might pause for a moment or two to consider it because its written rather than spoken, and because this is an advice and support forum so I want to exercise some level of care and compassion.  But I'm not going to take a day to decide EXACTLY the right wording.  Even less so in my day to day life, even when talking to my doctor.  Can there be deeper meaning behind what we say and how we say it? Sure, there are moments and situations.  But probably not nearly as many as you think, and even when there are, it might not even be for the reasons you think.  Maybe you've been worried ABOUT being tempted so the word was at the front of your thoughts.  Maybe you heard someone say it on the radio or tv recently.  Maybe it happened to bubble up faster than another synonym in that particular moment because of some event that happened back in school that made you learn the word tempted more than some other word or phrase.  Who knows.  Do you really think it makes sense to break down and analyze each and every word you say in every situation?  Why is "tempted" such a big deal?  Why not any of the other words you used?  Why don't you worry about their meaning.  You used dozens, if not hundreds of words while talking to your doctor. Why is that ONE word such a focus for you?  The answer is simple.  OCD.  There is no other reasonable or realistic explanation for why you'd be so focused on that word.  OCD is a far simpler and more likely explanation.  Either you were already worried about being "tempted" to do things, so your OCD was already primed to pick up on things related to that. Orrrr your OCD just happened to spike at THAT exact moment and key in on whatever word you were using.  Or some combination of both.  Could have been any word, because you can come up with any interpretation if you try hard enough.

Bottom line, you said a word, you say lots of words.  Because of OCD you have been laser focused on that one word.  But really? It doesn't matter, it is no big deal, you said a word, you said lots of words, you can move on.  You are allowing OCD to make waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger of a deal of this than it is.

 

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Guest dimmerswitch
On 15/03/2020 at 11:04, phillev said:

But this is a thought about a verbal statement I've made, I'd like too know why there is nothing in what I said that wouldn't make someone feel bad. 

Thought. Word. Expression. It doesn’t matter. It’s OCD. I’ve just got over a ridiculous spike I’ve had all weekend. How? Because I stopped giving it the time of day. Dksea could not have put it any better (far better than me).

Stop paying OCD attention. It doesn’t deserve it.

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