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Swindon OCD Support Group Discussion


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1 minute ago, Goldie80 said:

Ash... I might try letting someone down in a little way and not apologising for it! This is very hard for me!

So is the apology the compulsion? 

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8 minutes ago, Ashley said:

I can relate to that Annie, I used to do the same.  I have highlighted the word that I always come back to with my own OCD to remind myself, a feeling is not real. 

Obviously you don;t have to accept this challenge, so please don't let me pressure you into doing this if you're not ready. But, could you wear those shoes next time you go to Laura's group? Or even take them in a bag if you don't feel ready to wear out and perhaps wear them for 10 minutes of the group?     

But please, don't let me pressure you, I know with all my OCD challenges I had to get it right in my own head before I could do it.   Even if it takes you a year to get to that point, I am sure Laura and the group would be so pleased to see you in those ? one day :)

Wish it was just one pair Ashley! (and shoes are just one example), will definitely try to set myself some challenges. I would in this instance, feel guilt as its carpeted and a library so young people may sit on the floor. I know that makes it a perfect challenge with regard to responsibility.

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1 minute ago, Annie14 said:

Wish it was just one pair Ashley! (and shoes are just one example)

That's ok, but the challenge only needs to start with one thing, one example or one pair :)  Out of interest, if you were able to bring a pair to a group, would it help you if somebody else was to touch them first to help you feel less contaminated with them?

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1 minute ago, Annie14 said:

Wish it was just one pair Ashley! (and shoes are just one example), will definitely try to set myself some challenges. I would in this instance, feel guilt as its carpeted and a library so young people may sit on the floor. I know that makes it a perfect challenge with regard to responsibility.

Annie - I know who you are and you do beat yourself up a HUGE amount about things. I would love to work with you on an exposure. Something not too hard maybe? You could bring the shoes and just put them on in an area that you feel 'safe' for the first session and then maybe a more tricky spot the next month?

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3 minutes ago, Goldie80 said:

yes. Absolutely!

So whilst I am not a therapist and you don't have to answer me (it's more for you to reflect on) on the face of it the obsession is you're worried about letting people down, but peel back tyhe onion  layers and beneath that worry must be something else?  Important to keep peeling those layers back Laura.   

So let's use me as an example.  Lets say you have to cancel on doing something for me one day, why is it important to say sorry to me? If you can't say sorry what would that mean?    (Like I say no need to answer, just one to ponder). 

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10 minutes ago, Ashley said:

That's ok, but the challenge only needs to start with one thing, one example or one pair :)  Out of interest, if you were able to bring a pair to a group, would it help you if somebody else was to touch them first to help you feel less contaminated with them?

That would make me feel guilty - I would feel I was contaminating someone else, so rather do myself then I'm in control.

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2 minutes ago, Ashley said:

So whilst I am not a therapist and you don't have to answer me (it's more for you to reflect on) on the face of it the obsession is you're worried about letting people down, but peel back tyhe onion  layers and beneath that worry must be something else?  Important to keep peeling those layers back Laura.   

So let's use me as an example.  Lets say you have to cancel on doing something for me one day, why is it important to say sorry to me? If you can't say sorry what would that mean?    (Like I say no need to answer, just one to ponder). 

thanks Ash!!! There is always more layers to the onion!

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5 minutes ago, Annie14 said:

Try to ask for less reassurance from people as to what is safe, what I should worry about/feel guilty about, how I should deal with something etc and deal with it myself (as that is who we really listen too).

we can work on this Annie! Reassurance seeking is something I know VERY well! How are you doing with it atm? Are you seeking a lot of reassurance from people you are living with?

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14 minutes ago, Goldie80 said:

Annie - I know who you are and you do beat yourself up a HUGE amount about things. I would love to work with you on an exposure. Something not too hard maybe? You could bring the shoes and just put them on in an area that you feel 'safe' for the first session and then maybe a more tricky spot the next month?

Thanks Laura I know you are always happy to help. I need to take this time to think about and work on exposure outside of coronivirus. 

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1 minute ago, Annie14 said:

That would make me feel guilty - I would feel I was contaminating someone else, so rather do myself then I'm in control.

I get you, I would think same for a long time.  But if say Laura, or I was in the room and I gave you permission to put the shoes on my hands or even my face, would that be acceptable for your OCD because I gave permission?   

I am not sure if Laura's ever mentioned my OCD-UK conference party trick that I do to show people it is possible to overcome these fears?

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8 minutes ago, Goldie80 said:

we can work on this Annie! Reassurance seeking is something I know VERY well! How are you doing with it atm? Are you seeking a lot of reassurance from people you are living with?

Um yes, but then I always do. Don't think I'm being too much worse under the circumstances ( which is positive).

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Just now, Annie14 said:

Um yes, but then I always do. Don't think I'm being too much worse under the circumstances ( which is positive).

that is great! you have a lot of strength

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8 minutes ago, Ashley said:

I get you, I would think same for a long time.  But if say Laura, or I was in the room and I gave you permission to put the shoes on my hands or even my face, would that be acceptable for your OCD because I gave permission?   

I am not sure if Laura's ever mentioned my OCD-UK conference party trick that I do to show people it is possible to overcome these fears?

Would still feel really uncomfortable with your permission, so don't think I could.

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2 minutes ago, Hdigtts said:

Hello everyone ?

Nothing of any importance to add but I just wanted to say hi to everyone from the group. Looking forward to seeing you all when it can start again :)

Hey! Thanks for popping by!!!! xxx

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12 minutes ago, Annie14 said:

Would still feel really uncomfortable with your permission, so don't think I could.

That's ok.  Hopefully one day you will get there :)

Just as a side note, for a long time when I was doing my challenges I was worried I was getting it wrong because I was still anxious, for example long after I overcame my fear of toilets, I still get anxious using a public toilet (although fades within 5 minutes), and I worried about that. I now realise, recovery is not the absence of fear, recovery is being able to do the activity, regardless of anxiety. 

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Just now, Ashley said:

That's ok.  Hopefully one day you will get there :)

Just as a side note, for a long time when I was doing my challenges I was worried I was getting it wrong because I was still anxious, for example long after I overcame my fear of toilets, I still get anxious using a public toilet (although fades within 5 minutes), and I worried about that. I now realise, recovery is not the absence of fear, recovery is being able to do the activity, regardless of anxiety. 

absolutely!! I can remember the moment I realised that recovery is not getting rid of the thoughts - recovery is carrying on as normal despite the thoughts

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1 minute ago, Annie14 said:

Going to have to head off soon. Thanks Laura and Ash for your support. Sorry a few more couldn't join, hope all the group are ok. ☺

thank you for being here Annie. Hope you remain well and some nice points here for us to all consider. Much love x

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