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Fear of my bum and groin


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Hi guys. 

There is a truth. I need to get over my phobia of my bum and my my groin. Fact is, I hate them. I can’t even dry the areas after I’ve had a shower because I’m not completely sure they are clean enough. In fact, I’m reasonably sure I can never get them as clean as I want them to. I don’t know how anyone can wipe their bits or their bottom in the knowledge that they can be spreading poo, semen or urine over themselves. It is definitely even harder after I do stuff (you know what I mean). In fact, after I do that. I’m nearly rigid until I’ve had a shower. I can’t touch anything. My clothes feel dirty. My body feels dirty. If my hand glances or touches my shirt or my thigh after doing stuff, I need to wipe them down or not touch anything. And my hand always smells and I can’t get the smell out until I had a shower. 
In all of these instances, I think I know the answer. The answer is to dry your groin. Dry your bottom, though maybe not invasively dry bits that are more likely to have other stuff on them I.e. internal stuff. I constantly worry because I have an issue that I can’t pull my skin back to clean myself as much as I’d like, that I’m constantly worried that I’m dirty but I guess if I give it a cursory clean that’s clean enough anyway. The same applies to after doing stuff. Even if you feel disgusting, wash your hands and move on surely is the answer. I don’t feel like I can do it in my room yet because it would mean opening my door with dirty hands and I don’t want to touch the door handle. But even when doing it near the sink, if I touch my leg, I freak out. I have to ignore that and get on as if was normal. These are normal things. I have to accept they are normal. 
 

I guess part of it is accepting their is risk but you are taking it. A friend of mine with OCD ordered something online and he had to put his card details in. Midway through the payment, the site logged him out but when he logged back in it said the item had been ordered and that the payment was accepted. He worried that because the system cut out, that he might have had his details compromised. But that was his what if side of OCD coming into play. There was nothing to suggest that there was any harm from it. 
 

Just like I did the other day. I was setting up my siblings iPhone and they had to transfer their data across. I was worried because I was in a rush that I clicked on an insecure network and I compromised all of his data. Yet, when I later checked all the local networks, every neighbouring network was secured so I wouldn’t have even had access if I tried. More importantly, the chances of me actually clicking an unsecured network were slim. But again, it’s the mighty what if?

so to conclude, I think I just have to accept it and take the risk. Sure this might mean touching things with a bit of urine or semen or whatever. It might mean that I even get a bit of it on the items that are most precious to me. The important thing is that they continue to work. The only thing wrong with me is how I feel. These things repulse me but they aren’t that repulsive. Well, except for poo maybe. 
 

anyway, these are my thoughts. 

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23 hours ago, BigDave said:

to conclude, I think I just have to accept it and take the risk. Sure this might mean touching things with a bit of urine or semen or whatever. It might mean that I even get a bit of it on the items that are most precious to me. The important thing is that they continue to work.

Hi Dave, 

I saw this last night but didn't reply because you seemed to have already given yourself the best advice possible. :) 

You're right, it feels yuk to you just now, but you have to take the risk and touch things anyway. As your confidence grows you can take it further and even deliberately touch things you feel are contaminated to further desensitise your brain's 'yuk-factor'. The more you do this the faster your baseline of what is yucky will return to more normal levels and you'll be able to deal with body fluids without feeling so disgusted. Remember, this isn't about dropping your standards, it's about teaching your over-sensitised brain what is normal and safe. 

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Hi mate, sorry to hear your struggles!

23 hours ago, BigDave said:

Yet, when I later checked all the local networks, every neighbouring network was secured so I wouldn’t have even had access if I tried

You see that was a compulsion right? You delved further into the what if and gave it the time of day - try not to do this at all. Even with secured networks theres always risks but your OCD makes you feel like your rushing through it means you were more susceptible to being hacked than normal - this simply isnt the case at all.

23 hours ago, BigDave said:

so to conclude, I think I just have to accept it and take the risk. Sure this might mean touching things with a bit of urine or semen or whatever. It might mean that I even get a bit of it on the items that are most precious to me

Yeah so you've answered your question here. You need to accept there is the most insignificant amount of risk to all this and accept that it is perfectly normal to not have a shower or clean yourself rigorously after touching areas down there.

It's a case of thinking how a non-sufferer would see this behaviour. It wouldn't be reasonable to them which makes it apparent that OCD is playing a large part here in making you believe you are filthy dirty and need to clean yourself ASAP to feel better. 

Chin up :)

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On 09/04/2020 at 23:37, Handy said:

Isn’t this just like your other contaminated things topics? The answers are the same. 

Yes it is but I can’t just switch it off

Anyway I’m back with the urine issue. Think I’ve got urine on my leg and then carried on without it purposefully. Now I’m thinking I’ve got urine everywhere but just going to power through. 

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