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Obsessing over doing something stupid any help?


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Hi,

So I keep obsessing about what I did which was I went on my sisters phone because she went out and I went in her room and saw it on the side so I just thought oh ill go on it and delete my ex friend from her Instagram followers (which again I've been thinking for a while). So I went on her phone and her notes were open when I opened it and I just had a quick flick through that and then went on her Instagram and removed my friend who I'm no longer friends with from my sisters followers because I didn't want my ex friend seeing my sisters stuff and if I'm in some pictures etc.

So I feel guilty and I told my mom and she said not to tell her because she will be annoyed and that its done now and I should have just asked her to do it herself. But I realised that after I did it didn't I ?

So I kind of forgot about it and distracted myself and wasn't thinking much about it etc especially if I'm typing this it helps kind of. Anyway today I thought about it more so I told my mom and she said no don't say anything just try and draw a line under it and how I'm too honest with things because I have the need to tell my boyfriend about my dreams if I feel guilty. And I feel that's part of OCD I overthink and start to feel guilt.

I'm just stuck whether to tell her or not and if I do id rather text it haha it would be a bit less awks

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IMO you probably should have asked your sister to remove the friend rather than doing it yourself.  That said what you did isn't the end of the world.  You've asked your mom for advice and gotten it.  Given that OCD is likely at play here, and given that not telling your sister doesn't seem like it would do anyone any good, its probably best you follow your mothers advice and try to just let this go.  OCD will make you feel like you MUST resolve this, but the reality is you don't have to.  Don't give in to the OCD driven compulsions and you will be better off.  But I'd probably avoid using your sisters phone without her permission in the future too ?

 

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8 hours ago, dksea said:

IMO you probably should have asked your sister to remove the friend rather than doing it yourself.  That said what you did isn't the end of the world.  You've asked your mom for advice and gotten it.  Given that OCD is likely at play here, and given that not telling your sister doesn't seem like it would do anyone any good, its probably best you follow your mothers advice and try to just let this go.  OCD will make you feel like you MUST resolve this, but the reality is you don't have to.  Don't give in to the OCD driven compulsions and you will be better off.  But I'd probably avoid using your sisters phone without her permission in the future too ?

 

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. I did tell my sister I sent her a text last night and she opened it this morning. I had to say otherwise it stays in my head and I know its stupid but it does.

Thanks for the advice anyway

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I can really relate to this, the need to say it rather than try and forget it. It’s so difficult to suppress it but I feel it’s important otherwise we will keep confessing stuff. I confess like you to my wife a lot!!

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10 hours ago, lilly2020 said:

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. I did tell my sister I sent her a text last night and she opened it this morning. I had to say otherwise it stays in my head and I know its stupid but it does.

Thanks for the advice anyway

I can understand, even when we shouldn't do something (for OCD reasons) we still sometimes do it

Something else to keep in mind, we ALL do stupid things from time to time, try your best not to let it get to you :)

 

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  • 1 month later...

Thank you for your replys.

 

I am now trying this ERP (I think its called), So im doing the opposite. So if I have a dream about this guy and I feel guilty and want to tell my boyfriend I am doing the opposite and not telling him as it upsets him by mentioning things all the time and I just try and move on and force myself not to tell him. The same for if I have a random memory that I never told him about and I feel guilty about it then Im doing the opposite and stopping myself.

I don't want to dream about certain people because then I will wake up feeling guilty. So before I go to sleep I say to myself "I don't want to dream about certain people" and it works. But I think to myself that I shouldn't do that and just go to sleep. 

I don't know.

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I think saying that before sleep is a compulsion but you have made positive steps. It doesn’t have to all be done at once. After a while you’ll be able to stop saying it before sleep too :)

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11 hours ago, lilly2020 said:

I don't want to dream about certain people because then I will wake up feeling guilty. So before I go to sleep I say to myself "I don't want to dream about certain people" and it works. But I think to myself that I shouldn't do that and just go to sleep. 

This is a compulsion and it is better if you don't do it.  It may help with your anxiety for now, but it will likely not work forever.  Further it is cementing the idea in your mind that dreaming about certain people is something to be worried about, something to fear.  True recovery involves reaching the point where it doesn't matter to you if a person pops up in your dreams or not, you will be able to treat it like its not important.

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